re-thinking.

AbbynBrian13 · July 2012

Im re-thinking this whole website. I feel like every forum topic has such negative vibes, except this one! I post my thoughts on a topic & people say rude things. It's very dishearting when I'm being called a "child" because Im a young bride. It's almost like people around here love to put other brides down. And most of them were married years ago!! Has anyone else felt this way? And I can take postive constructive feedback, just not rude uncalled for posts. When I am just sharing my thoughts as well.

Caitlynmk · July 2012

OMG I agree. When I was new to the boards, I had a girl bully me and send me insulting PMs because I didn't know I wasn't allowed to try to sell a veil on the wedding attire board. It was really bothering me until I just decided I'd report her, ignore her, and forget about it. Some brides (or past brides who continue to post LONG after their wedding) do really take away from other brides' experiences on this website. I've learned you just have to ignore them because those are the girls who are childish and just want to pick fights with total strangers.

I agree that the ladies on this board are not like that, thankfully

kaceymarie · July 2012

ia. it's sad.

how old are you btw?

AbbynBrian13 · July 2012

I have also noticed some of the people were married YEARS.. YEARS ago. Thank you for the support!! Kacey I am 21 and my FI is 23.

kaceymarie · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2013-weddings_re-thinking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:2fb7282e-ed53-4794-84c9-f5617fc97f8bDiscussion:ae64c4fe-71a7-404a-919c-9a3648875c57Post:4632763b-cf01-46e8-894b-f58e5a97d04b">Re: re-thinking.</a>:
[QUOTE]Kacey I am 21 and my FI is 23.
Posted by AbbynBrian13[/QUOTE]

<div>i'm 21 too & 22 in september.</div>

AbbynBrian13 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2013-weddings_re-thinking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:2fb7282e-ed53-4794-84c9-f5617fc97f8bDiscussion:ae64c4fe-71a7-404a-919c-9a3648875c57Post:9c023bce-46f6-4252-8525-528ddca3d660">Re: re-thinking.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: re-thinking. : i'm 21 too & 22 in september.
Posted by kaceymarie[/QUOTE]

:D

Caitlynmk · July 2012

I haven't come across any good advice on the etiquette board, so I wouldn't suggest looking there. Other boards have been a little helpful for me, definitely the location board for where I am getting married. But yeah the delivery is bad with some of these ladies, you just get used to it

jennipea382 · July 2012

In my opinion, 21 is not necessarily too young. 18 maybe, but not 21. I also think it depends on lot on other things, like your maturity level and stability (emotionally, financially, etc). I don't think your age should matter. You getting married at whatever age doesn't affect me so who cares? Hell, I don't even think you can be too old to get married - my 85 year old great aunt just got remarried this year!

I do agree that the way some people talk is a little tactless. Constructive criticism and bashing are totally different things, and some people really blur that line. I wouldn't say everyone's like that though, even on the Etiquette board (who gets a bad rep for their very honest opinions). Each board has a really distinct "personality" and on some boards that means they are blunt.

I've learned from being on TK for a while that when you really look at it, they do have some good advice. And with Etiquette in particular, you have to remember that certain things you and your group may be ok with IS against proper etiquette. So asking about say, cash bars, over there isn't going to go over well. They do have some great advice, you just need to have a thick shell sometimes :-)

That's why I want this board to be a place we can talk about things honestly but nicely. So far that's what I've seen and I'm liking it. I know for some people that may seem like "puppies and rainbows" but it's nice to have some low key boards on here. So my advice is to either 1. Try not to let it get to you when someone disagrees (I get anxious easily, so I know this can be hard!), 2. Don't engage in an argument - it's not worth it in the end or 3. Avoid the boards you don't like and stick around your local and month boards. I know a there are a lot of people that like to stick to those boards and occasionally venture out to others, so you wouldn't be alone in that.

AbbynBrian13 · July 2012

I totally agree with everything you said. It just upset me when they were talking about the right age to get married. I just said my view because most of them said you shouldnt under 25 etc. And I basically got attacked because I am only 21, how could I know anything about life yet? etc. etc. etc. Finally I just stopped posting about it because, like you said it's not worth it! It does have alot to do where you are in your life. I have graduated college, have a full time job, pay all my own bills. Lived on my own with my FI almost 2 years. And I do know alot of 21 yr olds who havent got that far yet, but some have. All the other stuff they give advice about I dont really care, because people do give blunt opions. Just rubbed me the wrong way when they were saying I'd find out for getting married so young, and in my eyes were kind of bashing me. My rant is over lol

AbbynBrian13 · July 2012

Sorry I didnt space it out. I just thought about that after I sent it.

jennipea382 · July 2012

I think they have good intentions, but I just think some people think they know everything and they don't. Everyone is different though. People get married at 18 and stay together forever, and some get married at 35 and get divorced. Some people are on their own completely by age 20, some are still living in their parent's basement at 30. I don't think there's any magic age. I have friends that I feel are totally ready for marriage who are younger than me and haven't been with their bfs that long, and others who maybe are older and been with their bf for a long time and aren't ready at all. I guess I just don't have as strong of an opinion as others do. But on a public internet forum, people are going to be overly honest. It sucks sometimes, but sometimes you just gotta let it go. Feel free to vent to me all you want though, I know it can help :-)

AbbynBrian13 · July 2012

Your totally right! Thanks Jenni. : )

handheld · July 2012

I agree alot of what goes on here is put downs, I do alot of lurking and not posting because of it. However I think most of everything on the internet is that way.

madsenm2 · July 2012

I've been marching to the tune of my own drum since I was a kid. While I agree with Sleeper2013 that some people here have poor delievery, I also have encountered a TON of bitter people from ALL age groups. Its so easy to play "god" from behind a keyboard, that people do not care how much they insult and hurt because there will never be backlash.

Honestly, I knew at 19 that the man I was dating would be the person I married. I knew that when I first met him. I told my entire family and they told me I was CRAZY. Now 7 years later, we tied the knot and are gearing up for the vowel renewal. When you know, you know.

I often find that TK site itself is filled with a lot of old and outdated "rules" and "ideals" of the way a woman should get married, which is why I try to ignore it. But I've been shadowing this board for a while and the people here are pretty chill (and the mod does a good job of managing it).

re-thinking.

Re: re-thinking.

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