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Bachelor Party Question... RESOLVED!!!

jessicasheldon2011jessicasheldon2011
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in Pre-wedding Parties
Hello, I'm not sure if this is already a topic or not, sorry if it is a repeat.

I'm not the jealous type or anything. But, I'm pretty sure that my FH's bachelor party wil most likely be at a strip club. I know he went to strip clubs in the past before he met me which is no big deal. I trust my FH very much, it's just the thought of him going in there now and having some random women rubbing herself all over him. I personally think it is disgusting. God only knows how many other men she is after rubbing on and then he'll come home to me. Most bachelor parties I know of the men just go over to a buddy's house having drinks and eating and watching a game on tv.

I'm just wondering how other brides-to-be feels knowing their FH is at a strip club with all his buddy's?
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Re: Bachelor Party Question... RESOLVED!!!

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    jessicasheldon2011jessicasheldon2011
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We have this prolem resolved. Thanks for your answer though :)
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Definitely agree with RetreadBride: you trust him or you don't, plain and simple.

    And btw, if he goes to a strip club, there are strict rules about what the stripper can and cannot do.
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    jessicasheldon2011jessicasheldon2011
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah I totally trust my future husband and this problem is resolved. I'm not sure on how to close this question or stop people from writing things on it.

    I guess thanks for everyone's input. But, it is resolved AND I TRUST HIM. So I guess you can stop posting :S or whatever happens to resolved problems
    thanks anyways. Smile
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    jessicasheldon2011jessicasheldon2011
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    edited December 2011
    Oh ok. Thanks Smile
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    loop0406loop0406 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't worry about a woman dancing on my FI, she can dance, grind on him, etc. It's his bachelor party, his night. As long as there is no actual intercourse involved or sexual nature of that kind (oral, etc), I don't see the problem.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well now I want to know how it was resolved. Did he agree to not go to a strip club? Did you cave and say it was okay? I'm curious.
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    kathrynhabibtikathrynhabibti member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    There's nothing wrong with one not wanting their FI to go to a strip club, and it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with trust. I can trust that mine would not do anything sexual but the idea of someone rubbing and grinding all over him (yes, I know that there supposedly are rules on what they can do) is still absolutely revolting to me; to my mind they're two separate issues.

    But? While luckily for me he doesn't want to go, and would remove himself from the situation if it happened, I couldn't make him not go even if he wanted to - the only thing I could control would be how I handle it; break up/stay/whatever.

    I'm curious too as to how it was resolved. I know it's kinda not my business but still :^P
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    Laura3086Laura3086
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In the same situation.  My fiance's family is all boys and they go to strip clubs all the time.  My family, who is paying for the whole wedding,  doesn't like strip clubs at all!  My brother and dad would like to attend the bachelor party because my brother is a groomsman, but if it's at a strip club, they won't go.  My dad actually said if they plan it at a strip club, then he will be very disappointed in my fiance and think differently about him.  My fiance and I have an agreement that he won't have a strip club party, but everyone else in his family will probably blame me for not being able to do it.  Its not a question about trust because I trust my fiance.  It's about respect.  Does he respect my feelings enough to not go.  I really don't want him to go.  It would hurt me. Bottom line is if you express your true feelings and tell your fiance that it would hurt your feelings if he went, then he probably won't go. If he does go, then he's probably not the right man to marry if he doesn't respect your feelings.
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    kathrynhabibtikathrynhabibti member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    [QUOTE]In the same situation.  My fiance's family is all boys and they go to strip clubs all the time.  My family, who is paying for the whole wedding,  doesn't like strip clubs at all!  My brother and dad would like to attend the bachelor party because my brother is a groomsman, but if it's at a strip club, they won't go.  My dad actually said if they plan it at a strip club, then he will be very disappointed in my fiance and think differently about him.  My fiance and I have an agreement that he won't have a strip club party, but everyone else in his family will probably blame me for not being able to do it.  Its not a question about trust because I trust my fiance.  It's about respect.  Does he respect my feelings enough to not go.  I really don't want him to go.  It would hurt me. Bottom line is if you express your true feelings and tell your fiance that it would hurt your feelings if he went, then he probably won't go. If he does go, then he's probably not the right man to marry if he doesn't respect your feelings.
    Posted by Laura3086[/QUOTE]
    I agree.

    I'm sorry, I'm a bit troubled what you said though, about your fiance's family and their feelings on his not going to the strip club. I'd have serious doubts about marrying into a family who won't show their own family member the same respect that he shows his wife by not going if it would hurt her feelings. They probably don't realize this, but as it's a matter of sexual fidelity between a couple (it is, if you think about it - the couple just decides what that fidelity entails) it's actually none of their damn business if he won't go to one, and they have absolutely no leg to stand on in getting their nose out of joint about it, especially towards you.
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    jenyari2jenyari2
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I totally agree with Laura. It's a matter of respect for your future wife & her feelings not a trust issue at all. I find it hard to believe that a good time out with the guys has to include a strip club. If so, then how sad & low. I think that if both people truley love & respect eachother they will discuss/agree on what kind of party eachother is comfortable with. I don't want some random dirty woman rubbing her stuff all over my fiance when I'm about to marry in 3 weeks. In fact it's such a turn off, especially since we have 2 daughters, one 3 & the other 7. At some point you just have to learn to have respect women & grow up.
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