Let me start by saying that FI’s dad is the cheapest guy in the world. For example, at our wedding, he plans on packing 12 people into the 6-person B&B that we suggested for them (and we got them a reduced rate, might I add). He’s the type of guy who will make a meal off of cheese samples at whole foods so that he won’t have to buy real food. Also, being a Hawaii-raised girl, I can’t go to their house in the winter time because he refuses to turn on the heater even if everyone is wearing their hats and winter coats indoors. He pretty much acts like a starving college student, even though he’s a successful lawyer. I knew all of this before, and I like him anyway, but this wedding thing has made his stinginess SO annoying. Every question he asks is about how much will this cost? how much will that cost? etc.etc. and he’s not even paying for any of it so it’s really none of his business. All the time I’m thinking ‘Dude, your son is only getting married once. Can’t you just sit back and enjoy the festivities? All you have to do is show up.’ Obviously, we aren’t counting on any financial wedding help from FI’s parents. That’s totally fine. I knew that going in, and so did my parents who are covering a big part of the bill. However, much to my surprise, he asked if there was anything that he could help pay for. So I suggested that he could pay for the rehearsal dinner. We were just planning on doing something simple, not a multi-course meal at a nice restaurant. Everybody’s happy. Awesome. He made it clear that he was only paying for the RD, not planning it. I did my research, find some inexpensive caterers, and send him the quotes. WHOA. He didn’t like that. Then I suggested that we just pick up some burgers and hotdogs from Costco to keep the price down, except that I won’t be able to do that the day before the wedding so I might need some of them to make a grocery store run (ours is a DIY wedding, so there will be tons of last-minute projects to pull together). No, he doesn’t want to help. He just wants me to do extra work so that he can save money. He is also arguing that the officiant and his wife do not need to be invited because that will cost extra. At this point I don’t know what to do. FI has just told me to not worry about it and let him deal with his parents. Bless him. But I just don’t know what the proper etiquette would be here. Should I attempt to coordinate a rehearsal dinner cookout on the night before our wedding? Should we pay for part or all of the catering cost? He is obviously having trouble coming to terms with *gasp* spending money. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
