What has annoyed you about other peoples weddings?

topicyang · August 2011

I've been thinking about wedding etiquette today and I was thinking I've only been to 3 weddings but I've managed to be cranky about something EVERYTIME. And believe me I dont think I m that difficult a person. But it has been making me think eekkkk I don't want to annoy anyone on my wedding day or after it!? So I was I was thinking what have other brides and grooms done to annoy you guys on WC? Do you guys have any advice on what not to do!!!?? Or what your not going to do? haha

These are my annoyances

A relative of mine got married 2 years ago and her wishing well card was bigger than her invitation :S Peeved and I hadn't even got to the wedding haha. Then she invited 200 people to her ceremony and only 60 to her reception (thats fine by me) BUT she put the bloody wishing well right in the doorway at the ceremony with a large sign on it saying WISHING WELL and arrow? Then she had it at the reception (which I think it should have just been there). After the wedding I saw her and the whole time she bitched and whined about how much money she got, how some people only gave $100 and how much money she normally gives other people. Then she informed me they spent the money on their rates and electricity bill and car insurance. :S Then she posted a thank-you 8 months later just saying thanks for sharing our day and she hadnt worked for 6 months. :S

The next wedding I went to the brides mouth was FOUL she swore like a trooper the whole time

The last wedding I went to was by far the nicest but again disappointed with no thank-you and I went to so much effort with the gift it was very personalised!

Allycat11 · August 2011

I haven't experienced the things mentioned above, but they are things brides suggest on here a lot.

Out of things I've experienced, not enough space was the biggest issue. At one of my cousin's weddings there were too many people at each table and we kept bumping elbows. There was also very little space between tables, making it difficult to walk through the venue. It was also a family style meal and that caused issues because of over crowded tables. There was not enough food to go around the table and the dishes did not fit on the table either so people were stuck awkwardly holding them.

Slow food service would be another potential complaint that would bug me. No one likes watching everyone else eat while they are stuck waiting.

MairePoppy · August 2011

Your cousin is really rude!

How about a bride that was 1 1/2 hours late for the ceremony? We sat in a non-air-conditioned church, on a hot August day, wondering if she was just late - again -or if the wedding was about to be cancelled. We would have left, but my daughter was her flower girl and was with the wedding party. The groom, my cousin, finally called the MOB from the church (no cell phones, then) and was informed that she was on her way. And after the delayed ceremony, the bride still insisted on her photo session, in a park, while the guests feasted on a cheese ball and crackers and the country club kept the dinners warm. And 25 years later, she is still late for everything.

AdeleDazeem · August 2011

An unannounced gap.

I've been to two weddings where a gap between the ceremony and reception was not made clear. AT ALL. We wandered the city looking for something to do both times and both times I was really annoyed.

If you're having a gap (which is debatably rude around here), at least own it. Say straight up "Yup, you're on your own for two hours." At least I'll be able to plan something.

EDIT: oh, and all those things your cousin did? RUDE. Not annoying, but straight up rude.

Muffin'sMom · August 2011

Money grabs...absolutely. I don't want my husband to put dollar bills in someone's cleavage. I don't want to pay club prices for drinks. I went to a wedding a couple of years ago that charged for sodas too...to the tune of 3 dollars each. I ordered a martini and they wanted 12 dollars. I said no thanks and turned around and walked off.

I came to your wedding and brought a lovely gift. I'm not wanting to ALSO pay for your honeymoon and pay for a reception you can't afford.

Tacky......

goobersinlove · August 2011

1. Not receiving thank you notes. I have been to two weddings where I never received a thank you note.

2. Once I had a bride (one of the brides that also did not send thank you note above), TELL me that not only is she expecting each guest to give her a monetary gift that is "no less than the amount of her per person cost b/c that's etiquett," but she also indicated that she would be using all of her money to pay off her wedding debt.

3. Money dances.

4. Seating me at a kids table.

The above four are more than little pet peeves to me - they are downright rude. And I've experienced them all.

slave4dance · August 2011

i hate when i get a thank you more than 3 months after a wedding. at that rate its like what is the point

sweetredhead · August 2011

Hmm... I've seen some doozies that even as a kid knew were bad decisions:

Weather happens but know your area's general climate: A cousin apparently forgot that July in Houston means the devil thinks it's too hot and had the ceremony in a crowded non a/c house with no seating and then had an outside reception.

My college roomate did the tiered invitations: Group A,B,C invites are so tacky. She sent out her first round then sent out her second round once she knew how many of the elite were coming then sent out the third as close to the date as possible so they could not come but still feel obligated to send a gift. She even told me I was in Group B and the other friend with us was in Group A. I just had to laugh.

My sister called me and said she wanted me to be a special part of her wedding. Later that translated to cutting the cake with my twin's random girlfriend of 2 months. I felt so special. lol. That crap is not an honor. Had she said "hey sis I will need some help at the wedding can you cut the cake for me?" then I would have said no prob! Don't pretend crap work is an honor.

One I just felt bad for the bride. I was invited to the Bachelorette party and the bride got so excited when we drove up to her favorite restaurant. Too bad they planned it at the restaurant next door which she got food poisoning the last time. it was also themed with games and songs and weird things they make people do. She was EXTREMELY reserved and hated all the attention. Then they went back to her place where they broke out the alcohol. She did not drink and hated alcohol in her house. Later, they made her play sexual games which she hated. I will always give her props for her composure. Promise this isn't an anti wild and crazy bachelorette party issue but a know your honoree. If they hate something, don't make them do it.

goobersinlove · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_annoyed-other-peoples-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:7e60b1fb-5515-4ca2-bd10-80dcddc879cfPost:fde38c32-5598-4c44-b697-01782c5653da">Re: What has annoyed you about other peoples weddings?</a>:
[QUOTE]One I just felt bad for the bride. I was invited to the Bachelorette party and the bride got so excited when we drove up to her favorite restaurant. Too bad they planned it at the restaurant next door which she got food poisoning the last time. it was also themed with games and songs and weird things they make people do. She was EXTREMELY reserved and hated all the attention. Then they went back to her place where they broke out the alcohol. She did not drink and hated alcohol in her house. Later, they made her play sexual games which she hated.
Posted by sweetredhead[/QUOTE]

This is one of the many reasons why I am a) not having a WP and b) declining any bachelorette parties. I am exactly like that girl - I hate all that stuff too. I probably would not have been so nice about it.

heyTiffany · August 2011

I've only been to one wedding, but what annoyed me was the photog. She had no idea of the concept of SPACE. She was seriously always pulling the bride away from the party to get more pictures, more pictures, more pictures.

And the guests. As soon as the ceremony was over, they changed into like, shorts and Hawaiian tees. I was like...wtf rude.

redheadtmk · August 2011

I went to a wedding in April where they took pictures for over an hour after the ceremony but did not have any sort of cocktail hour. It was an outdoor wedding so we sat in the heat starving while we waited. They brought out hummus and pita wedges 5 mintues before the couple were done and dinner was about to start. Then they called 2 tables up at a time so those of us at the end were extra hungry and half of the food was gone and had not been replaced yet. They got grumpy that we helped ourselves to dessert while we got dinner because we were not waiting another 1 1/2 hours to get that too. (mini cupcakes, tarts, and cookie wedding favors). The bride did not go around to everyone and thank them for coming or say hello. She pretty much hung out with her BM's and chatted.

I have also been to weddings where the food and candy bar favors ran out very quickly.

kmarlowe13 · August 2011

I can only think of a couple of things that have annoyed me about people's weddings.

1.) At my cousin's wedding, they had a 30 to 45 minute ceremony in a non-airconditioned church, with more than 200 people, about half being kids. If your going to have that many people, don't expect them to sit abround with their kids for a hour just to watch you. A lot of people got up and left once they realized it was going to be a long ceremony.

2.) At my aunt's wedding a few years ago, her wedding venue was a nightmare. She was suppose to have it by their pool, next to the golf course. The morning of the wedding it rained, so her wedding planner asked the staff of the venue if they could move it in doors to the reception hall. (Which was plenty big enough) Once we arrived at the site, the venue had set up the chairs on the out-door, uncovered porch! The whole wedding site was flooded! Instead of having the decency to move it in doors, they just moved it to the other side of the building. The wedding ran two hours late, because our family had to set up elsewhere.

elangu · August 2011

One wedding I went to the music during the reception was so loud you couldn't talk to the person sitting next to you. If you want to dance to "Save a horse, ride a cowboy" that's fine but don't rupture my eardrums in the process.

Another wedding was in December at a park (the wedding was indoors at the clubhouse) where they had Christmas lights displayed. The bride was over an hour late and blamed it on the traffice because of the lights display. When all of your guest had to come in that same way and managed to be on time that excuse won't work!

They're called guest for a reason, be nice to them.

brilibby4 · August 2011

Being pressured into trying to catch the bouquet or participate in dollar dances.

Not enough food or not enough food choices.

Bad DJs.

eck036 · August 2011

Dollar dances. I think they are tacky and rude. A wedding I just went to had one that lasted for four songs-so boring.

SuMmErKuTiE · August 2011

~Cash bars
~Dollar Dances
~Head tables
~Not enough food in the plated dinner or it's not hot enough (this is why we did stations.. there was plenty of variety and more than enough food for our guests to go back up for more).
~Annoying DJ's or DJ's who don't know how to mix up the playlists
~Gaps between the ceremony and reception (thankfully I've only attended one wedding like this and it was awful. No one knew what to do and we were all so hungry!

sweetredhead · August 2011

Retread: That one was mine. She is a people pleaser to the 10th degree. She didn't say anything about hating the restaurant because they had paid for so much for the evening. (Even though I felt they paid to throw themselves a party not her) She asked me not to say anything about the restaurant and literally took my hand and squeezed it hard when I started to tell them that it was disrespectful to drink in her house when she hates alcohol (dad died in DUI!!). I did talk to each and everyone of them a few days later when I saw them again. I told them they could talk all kinds of crap about me for chewing them out but to never to the girl because it would make her feel embarrassed. Apparently I got to a couple of them because they took her to a spa for mani/pedis and snowcones (bride's favorite treat). The other 2 said that a bachelorette party was for drinking and that the bride needed to get over it. Immaturity at it's best.

hvansaders · August 2011

All those sound awful and i feel bad for the bride who had to endure a party that made her uncomfortable.

With six weddings to go to this year I've learned a lot about what not to do for my wedding next year.

1) Sit guests next to people they have never met in their lives, especially if they are from different decades and have NOTHING in common.

2) Have the last few tables too close to the DJ/Band and having the speakers blaring into the guests ears

3) The photographer taking up too much time of the bride and groom to the point where people notice and ask where are they?

4) Brides and Grooms not acting like it is their party and not participating in most of the dancing....kind of makes the DJ seem pointless if only a few guests are dancing

5) Having a lame DJ who isnt recognizing that the dance floor is empty and doing something to try and get people out there

6) Having the DJ/Band ask everyone on the dance floor to be seating for the next part of the meal, only to wait 20 minutes to receive it. I could have been enjoying myself and will sit down when I see you putting food on the tables.

Thats it for now but we still have two weddings left to go to!!

btw - 1 and 2 happened at the same wedding. i was never so happy for dessert to be served so i could leave.

lauraQ123 · August 2011

@sweetredhead - your friend has got a lot of willpower

1) Large gaps - most of the weddings I've been to (and there haven't been that many) have had 4-5 hour gaps...and I wasn't close to home. Definitely felt like 'all dressed up with no where to go....yet'

2) I understand that it is a logistical nightmare to serve 250+ guests for a plated dinner, but I generally don't like having to line up for my food at a wedding

svangorkom · August 2011

*Dollar dances, selling the garter, or anything else where the couple is begging for money. I already bought a dress, a hotel room, and I gave you the $80 gravy boat you registered for that you'll never use. (And a wishing well? What the heck?? I've never heard of this and would be offended if I saw it).

*No air conditioning or too-long ceremonies. Get it over with already. We don't need to hear 7 readings or scriptures we've heard at every wedding before yours. On that note, wedding ceremonies that have an entire sermon in addition in to the wedding part. Wowzers.

*Big gaps/waiting. I have better things to do than stare at your great-aunt's drool puddle for 3 hours while you jam out and have cocktails in the limo with your wedding party.

*When there is a served meal but not enough staff, so you sit and munch on ice while the other tables eat their delicious pork loin.

*I also agree with previous posts about BS "honors". Junior bridesmaid, guest book attendant, gift carrier. Unless I'm 8 and I get a Barbie for my efforts, I'm out.

Feels good to vent! LOL

What has annoyed you about other peoples weddings?

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