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Snarky Brides

Bridal shower question

Hi! I have a question on throwing a bridal shower for my cousin, "C". C is getting married in August, so I though since she was a big help at my wedding, it would be nice to throw her a shower for hers.
I called her mother and left a message asking for a date in June/July that works for her, and any people she would like me to invite. I get a text message back an hour later from C's mother saying "Don't expect any money from me, I don't think throwing C a shower is a good idea, her sister and bridesmaids will take care of it"
Um, wth? I'm confused. I'm okay with financing the shower, and I just wanted to be kind. I talked to C before calling her mother, and she was thrilled about a shower.
Should I go ahead and throw C a shower, or just forget it?

CN: Bride's mom nixes my shower offer, go ahead with it anyways?

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Re: Bridal shower question

  • Would the shower guests be essentially the same people her bridal party would invite to their shower? If so, I would just call her BP and offer to help. I think throwing 2 showers for the same circle would be a bit much. Alternatively, you could offer the bride a day of pampering and do something special for her that way.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridal-shower-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5c5add51-f762-40c3-89aa-0839d7e8d8e4Post:8905183f-edb4-4713-8e79-ef2aa70a78be">Re: Bridal shower question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Would the shower guests be essentially the same people her bridal party would invite to their shower? If so, I would just call her BP and offer to help. I think throwing 2 showers for the same circle would be a bit much. Alternatively, you could offer the bride a day of pampering and do something special for her that way.
    Posted by brookelynpaisley[/QUOTE]

    No, her BMs/immediate family live in Sioux Falls. C's in-laws and her MN friends live here in the metro.
    image image Anniversary
  • Then I would just text her mom back and say, "I'd love to host a shower for her friends here in the area and wanted input from you on the date so you could be included since moms are generally invited to all showers." I think wording it that way will make it clear that you don't need anything from her and this is separate from the group that would be invited to her other shower. Not to menion, it shows that you're considerate about making sure she can be there :) If she still gives you a hard time, plan it anyway and invite her - she had her shot at input on the date and deciding to have a shower is between you and the bride.
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    Infertile, living childfree, advocating like a BOSS
  • Weird. I think it's safe for her to have two showers then, if it's a completely different group of people. Check with C again. If her mom doesnt' want to come, she doesn't have to come. 

    Maybe check with the BMs though to make sure you don't overlap guest lists? I had two wedding showers. One at home in WI, and one here. A few people were invited to both (BMs, mom, step mom) just out of courtesy, but they all just chose one or the other. No harm.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridal-shower-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5c5add51-f762-40c3-89aa-0839d7e8d8e4Post:fe36af16-3c27-46da-9e7c-745c0c066748">Re: Bridal shower question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Weird. I think it's safe for her to have two showers then, if it's a completely different group of people. Check with C again. If her mom doesnt' want to come, she doesn't have to come.  <strong>Maybe check with the BMs though to make sure you don't overlap guest lists</strong>? I had two wedding showers. One at home in WI, and one here. A few people were invited to both (BMs, mom, step mom) just out of courtesy, but they all just chose one or the other. No harm.
    Posted by Steph+J[/QUOTE]

    I will do this! Didn't even occur to me. Thanks!
    image image Anniversary
  • So C's family is throwing her a shower and not inviting her FI's family?
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  • edited April 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridal-shower-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5c5add51-f762-40c3-89aa-0839d7e8d8e4Post:6446b92f-5f48-4411-a9b7-8ecec2fd4558">Re: Bridal shower question</a>:
    [QUOTE]So C's family is throwing her a shower and not inviting her FI's family?
    Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

    I'm not 100% sure. I know they were talking about it, but it's not set in stone. I just want to start buying invites, decorations, set the menu, etc.

    MOB is crazypants. If you guys even knew the whole story on why MOB isn't my aunt... It's a tale for another time.
    image image Anniversary
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