Groomsman dropped out

Re: Groomsman dropped out

• MrsMuq member

  

  January 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_groomsman-dropped-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:cf9ea36d-75f4-4053-8e70-7388350a1cc4Post:3a14acdd-765e-4888-826d-402005702288">Groomsman dropped out</a>:
  [QUOTE]My fiance asked his groomsman to be in our wedding right after we got engaged in January 2012. We have been communicating regularly and thought everything was fine. We sent out the wedding invitations recently since the wedding is March 23 and received the groomsman's response card today as a "no". On the back they wrote "We regretfully have to decline because we are going to another wedding that day". My fiance contacting him right away and he said he "forgot" that my fiance asked him to be in the wedding! FORGOT!! Now we are exactly 2 months away from the wedding and we are down one groomsman... as it is he already had a female attendant (which I am totally ok with) but he doesn't know who to ask. 
  Posted by AmberLynnMRN[/QUOTE]
  
  You don't need to have even numbers on each side for wedding parties. I had 5 BMs and DH had 3 groomsmen. No one will notice, believe me.

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• soontobehanby member

  

  January 2013

  Don't ask a replacement groomsman. Just have uneven sides.  You are saying to the replacement that he didn't make the cut the first time, but now that someone dropped out he is in! Just don't do it.

  

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• daveANDkristen member

  

  January 2013

  I'm sorry your FI's friend dropped out of the wedding. There is no need to replace hm though. If your FI can't think of anyone to ask, you shouldn't go searching for someone who is not close to either of you just to fill a space. Your sides to not need to be even, I promise. Even if you did have someone in mind to ask, they would be a second choice, and that is not very flattering. Just proceed with your plans without the absent GM.

  
  

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• JoanE2012 member

  

  January 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_groomsman-dropped-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:cf9ea36d-75f4-4053-8e70-7388350a1cc4Post:3a14acdd-765e-4888-826d-402005702288">Groomsman dropped out</a>:
  [QUOTE]My fiance asked his groomsman to be in our wedding right after we got engaged in January 2012. We have been communicating regularly and thought everything was fine. We sent out the wedding invitations recently since the wedding is March 23 and received the groomsman's response card today as a "no". On the back they wrote "We regretfully have to decline because we are going to another wedding that day". My fiance contacting him right away and he said he "forgot" that my fiance asked him to be in the wedding! FORGOT!! Now we are exactly 2 months away from the wedding and we are down one groomsman... as it is he already had a female attendant (which I am totally ok with) but he doesn't know who to ask. 
  Posted by AmberLynnMRN[/QUOTE]
  
  Don't replace him.  You don't need even sides.  The majority of wedding parties I've seen lately have been uneven sides and it's fine!
  
  I know he's a guy and all, but I still find it really strange that he didn't know the date of your wedding and "forgot" that you asked him to be in it and he accepted. 

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• libby2483 member

  

  January 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_groomsman-dropped-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:cf9ea36d-75f4-4053-8e70-7388350a1cc4Post:972147f1-eccf-4ad3-ba51-999621364f72">Re: Groomsman dropped out</a>:
  [QUOTE]I'm sorry your FI's friend dropped out of the wedding. There is no need to replace hm though. If your FI can't think of anyone to ask, you shouldn't go searching for someone who is not close to either of you just to fill a space. Your sides to not need to be even, I promise. Even if you did have someone in mind to ask, they would be a second choice, and that is not very flattering. Just proceed with your plans without the absent GM.
  Posted by daveANDkristen[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>This.  Also, FI's "friend" sounds like a jerk.  I obviously don't know the whole situation, but if I valued someone enough to ask them to be in my WP, I would be hurt and angry if they just "forgot".</div>

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  January 2013

  Being "down a groomsman" is not the end of the world or will it ruin your wedding.  Do not replace the forgetful idiot.  Just keep everything as is and move on.

  
  

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• AmberLynnMRN member

  

  January 2013

  We have communicated frequently about the wedding every 23 weeks for a year so his excuse that he forgot is crap to me. I told my fianc that we don't have to pick someone else but he isnt sold on it. My friend said she would stand up with him so that is an option she was going to be a bridesmaid but he couldn't find a third so she graciously stepped down and has still been helping with everything. My fianc is just crushed by it. They have known each other for over 5 years.

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  January 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_groomsman-dropped-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:cf9ea36d-75f4-4053-8e70-7388350a1cc4Post:0d42231d-0a45-4eb9-bdc3-80dac9dc9a7e">Re:Groomsman dropped out</a>:
  [QUOTE]We have communicated frequently about the wedding every 23 weeks for a year so his excuse that he forgot is crap to me. I told my fianc that we don't have to pick someone else but he isnt sold on it. My friend said she would stand up with him so that is an option she was going to be a bridesmaid but he couldn't find a third so she graciously stepped down and has still been helping with everything. My fianc is just crushed by it. They have known each other for over 5 years.
  Posted by AmberLynnMRN[/QUOTE]
  
  Oh my gosh!  Sides do not have to be even!  I can't believe you were ok that one of your friends/BM stepped down so that you could have even sides at your wedding.
  
  Tell your FI to get over the numbers and just enjoy the people who are there.
  
  I just don't get people and their need for even numbers!

  
  

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• AmberLynnMRN member

  

  January 2013

  Im not ok with her stepping down but she insisted on it. I didn't even ask her to. She was the one who said it needed to be even at the time. Now I am very much ok with it not being even but I do t know if he is going to be ok with it. I keep telling him it is ok and he is the man to have all women in his wedding party but so far he isn't buying it. Lol

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• daveANDkristen member

  

  January 2013

  Maybe your FI has not seen weddings with an unequal number of BMs/GMs.  Send him here so he can see that it's very common.  There is no reason for even numbers.  If you are that worried about symmetry, just have the whole WP process in and then just your MOH and Best Man stand up with you, the rest of the WP sitting in the front row.  Then no one will even notice how many you have of each.

  
  

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  January 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_groomsman-dropped-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:cf9ea36d-75f4-4053-8e70-7388350a1cc4Post:fe488f78-8691-4036-8415-b839e14e04e5">Re:Groomsman dropped out</a>:
  [QUOTE]Im not ok with her stepping down but she insisted on it. I didn't even ask her to. She was the one who said it needed to be even at the time. Now I am very much ok with it not being even but I do t know if he is going to be ok with it. I keep telling him it is ok and he is the man to have all women in his wedding party but so far he isn't buying it. Lol
  Posted by AmberLynnMRN[/QUOTE]
  
  I suggest you do some Googling and find pictures of uneven wedding parties.
  
  Here is a pic of mine...don't we all look happy and nice even though my H had 5 guys and I had 2 girls (plus our officiant/great friend)
  
  <a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/7/1/f7f5de52-8a4a-4212-b161-a8f002dbf970.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/7/1/f7f5de52-8a4a-4212-b161-a8f002dbf970.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
  
  I think you should bang your FI head and your friends head together and then maybe they will realize that even numbers is completely ridiculous.

  
  

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• AmberLynnMRN member

  

  January 2013

  He doesn't have any close male friends that live near us. We are on Florida be the closest one in North Carolina. His brother is in Indiana but can't travel because he got laid off and doesn't have the money. He has tentatively agreed to be uneven now but we shall see how it progresses.

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• Tonya729 member

  

  January 2013

  This stinks but my FI has 9 and I have only 4 and Im more than fine with it.. I dont want to ask people just to fill in the spot. We will make it work and so can you! Good Luck!

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