Small wedding, changing traditions?

Shadows1909 · May 2011

Hey!

So we're getting married with about 30 people as guests.

I don't have enough close girl friends to have bridesmaidS, I actually was planning on asking my 2 closest friends to both be maids of honor so that neither feels she's less important than the other, which is true. Is that something that is doable in a wedding? Since one of them is single, but the other isnt, can I have them walk down the aisle together?

My fiancé has a clear best man, but no one else in mind. Should it be equal numbers on both sides?

Next question : I know no kids whatsoever, as none of our close friends has children yet. Is there really a necessity for a ring bearer, flower girl, ect. Can we simply have our officiant have the rings and give them to us at the right moment?

Finally, has anyone asked a friend of you and your man to officiate the wedding? We are both Toastmasters (public speaking club) and we have someone we both care a lot about in mind. We are both non-religious, and were wondering what the officiant could say, how it's all suposed to go, ect. (Ive never even been to a wedding, so Im kinda lost here)

Thanks!

amys325 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_small-wedding-changing-traditions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:4aee1475-426b-4280-bc79-c3f9dffffbeaPost:2df3d18e-24e5-46cb-acda-51a1138bcdff">Small wedding, changing traditions?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey! So we're getting married with about 30 people as guests. I don't have enough close girl friends to have bridesmaidS, I actually was planning on asking my 2 closest friends to both be maids of honor so that neither feels she's less important than the other, which is true. Is that something that is doable in a wedding? Since one of them is single, but the other isnt, can I have them walk down the aisle together? My fiancé has a clear best man, but no one else in mind. Should it be equal numbers on both sides? Next question : I know no kids whatsoever, as none of our close friends has children yet. Is there really a necessity for a ring bearer, flower girl, ect. Can we simply have our officiant have the rings and give them to us at the right moment? Finally, has anyone asked a friend of you and your man to officiate the wedding? We are both Toastmasters (public speaking club) and we have someone we both care a lot about in mind. We are both non-religious, and were wondering what the officiant could say, how it's all suposed to go, ect. (Ive never even been to a wedding, so Im kinda lost here) Thanks!
Posted by Shadows1909[/QUOTE]

Congrats on your upcoming wedding!

If you have 2 best friends that you want to be in your wedding OF COURSE they can both be your MOHs. Is one married? In that case she would be a Matron of Honor. And no, the amount of attendants on each side don't have to match. Your 2 MOHs can walk down with the BM.

You don't have to have a ring bearer or flower girl, normally in the weddings I've been in the MOH or BM hold the rings....more so the BM because the MOHs don't have pockets.

unplainjane · May 2011

your plan sounds lovely. we are also having a small wedding. i have a MOH and my FI and no other wedding party. as well we don't have any children in the party either. so it'll be a very simple and small processional.

Cynthia1207 · May 2011

Yes you can have tow MOHs. I agree with CMGr that it looks nicer if they walk one at a time.

Uneven sides are perfectly acceptable.

Kids are mostly used for the "cute" factor in a wedding so you're more than fine without using them. I wasn't going to have any but I caved when everyone started asking me well why don't you choose so and so. Turns out it made the kids so happy and I am so glad to have asked them.

You can have a friend officiate the wedding however you need to check if he needs to get ordained or not and what the legal requirements are. It is doable though.

Good luck with everything!

Kristin789 · May 2011

>>So we're getting married with about 30 people as guests.

Welcome to the world of small weddings! We had 25 people at our wedding.

>>Since one of them is single, but the other isnt, can I have them walk down the aisle together?

No.
The single girl walks first - she is your Maid of Honor.
The married girl walks next - she is your Matron of Honor.
Then you.

>>My fiancé has a clear best man, but no one else in mind. Should it be equal numbers on both sides?

No.

>>is there really a necessity for a ring bearer, flower girl, ect. Can we simply have our officiant have the rings and give them to us at the right moment?

We just gave the rings to the officiant, and he handled everything.

>>Finally, has anyone asked a friend of you and your man to officiate the wedding? We are both Toastmasters (public speaking club) and we have someone we both care a lot about in mind.

Whoever officiates your wedding must be legally authorized to be a wedding officiant. You can't just ask a friend who is a good speaker.

>>We are both non-religious, and were wondering what the officiant could say, how it's all suposed to go, ect.

A legally-authorized wedding officiant will give you three or four wedding ceremonies to choose from, as well as some other materials to consider mixing and matching. We had a judge as wedding officiant, and he gave me all of that stuff, and we chose one of the wedding ceremonies to be used as written.

Small wedding, changing traditions?

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