What to do with nieces and nephews?!

afh163 · November 2012

My fianc and I have 8 nieces and nephews of all different ages that we would like to include in our wedding. We are not sure of the best way to include them based on their ages. I'd love your advice or suggestions! Side note I have 2 nieces. He has 4 nieces and 2 nephews.
Ages of nieces at time of our wedding
10
10
8
5
3
Almost 2

Ages of nephews
12
7

Thank you so much!

NYCMercedes · November 2012

Guest?

SJM7538 · November 2012

Yeah if its all or nothing I would go with nothing. Eight is over kill IMO.

With the older kids I would ask them if they want to be in the wedding. 10 seems a bit young for a bridesmaid but your nieces may feel silly as a flower girl at 10 years old and I'm not really down with the Jr. Bridesmaid thing.

Jen4948 · November 2012

I agree with PPs-if it's all or nothing, do nothing.

JaxInBlue · November 2012

Agree with PPs. Eight is way too many children and the ages are far to diverse. Take a cute picture with them, make sure they sit (with their parents) in the front rows, and don't stress about it. DH and I have 18 nieces and nephews; our respective godchildren had roles in the ceremony and everyone stayed for pictures.

dtbluv · November 2012

If you're set on having them all in the wedding, maybe you could have all the nieces be flower girls, but send them down the aisle in sets of threes, with a ten year old in each set to mind the younger ones. Then you could have the 7 yo boy as the RB and maybe the 12 yo could do a reading. There are a ton of readings from children's/YA books that could fit into a wedding, or the classic 1 Corinthinthians 13:4-8.

Or both nephews as RBs that just walk down the aisle together.

afh163 · November 2012

I think there would be hurt feelings. I am close with my nieces and the 9 year old has already declared she wants to be a junior bridesmaid! The issue with my fiance's nieces and nephews is that he has asked his brother to be his best man, but he is not as close with his sister who is much older and she will not be in the BP. Our thought was to include her children as our way of including her as well. I'm wondering if we do junior bridesmaids and groomsmen with the 3 older kids and then sort out the younger ones as flowers girls/ring bearer. Still too much? I think we really want some of them in the ceremony which I guess would mean we have to go all over none

random4180 · November 2012

I have four nieces and one nephew. My nephew was the ring bearer and my two youngest nieces were flower girls. The two older ones were jr bridesmaids (people make a big deal out of the jr title but especially if your one niece has already mentioned she wants to be one it's probably cool in your circle (like it is in my family.) I realize my nieces did the same thing as my bridesmaids (especially in my case since there was no bachelorette party and they came to my bridal shower) but both their moms suggested it to me as a way to involve the older girls since their younger siblings were going to be in the wedding party. My older nieces were 10 and 13 at the time. My bridal party was also a "pick any dress you want" kind of thing and the jr BMs decided they wanted to match when they picked out their dresses. I'm pretty sure they enjoyed the experience regardless of titles, lol.

1mobags · November 2012

I have same problem.... This is what I did 17 year old niece: reader 16 year old niece: in charge of wed it videos (she's always making movies) 14 &12 year old nephew: pulling up aisle runner 8 & 10 year old niece: flower girls 7&12 year old nephew: directing people to seats and announcing cookie bar opening They all wanted to be involved and are thrilled with the "jobs" I came up for them.

Kate61487 · November 2012

8 does feel like a lot; but I had 7 so I don't really have room to judge. We originally planned to just have 2, but got a lot of flack from my grandmother about including my younger cousins so we added all 5 of them b/c it wasn't worth the fight to me. (and they were very sweet and adorable and perfectly behaved - I originally just hadn't planned on including them b/c living 1,000 miles apart we aren't that close). We had them walk in 2s and 3s to speed up the processional.

So if you want to include some, and don't feel like you can pick and choose then have them all; go for it. The older ones (12,10,10) could be usher/usheretttes, readers, or jr BM/GM. 8/7/5 feels like good FG/RB ages as long as they don't think they're too old for it. I agree that the 3/2 yos are a little young and won't really understand what's going on. But if you want to have them dress up, and if they are awake and in a good mood they can walk down the aisle, and if not then they won't but can still be in photos.

If you're having communion you could also think about having some of them bring the gifts up, which is an easy way to include a few others so you don't have so many in the processional.

afh163 · November 2012

Thanks everyone for all your feedback! After discussing it with my mom, I don't really have much choice but to include all of them except the 2 year old. We decide the oldest 3 will be jr wedding party, the 3 and 5 year old will be flower girls and the 7 year old will be ring bearer. The only one I'm not sure of is the 8 year old girl. Her sister will be a jr bridesmaid and I don't know if that will cause hurt feelings if she isn't as well. My fianc is going to talk to his sister to get her input. We are not having a religious ceremony so we have a few less options for alternative roles for the kids. I definitely like the idea of having the little ones walk in pairs and the jr bridesmaids will walk with jr groomsmen to speed it all up. Thanks again!!

[Deleted User] · November 2012

Ok, something to consider, your budget!!! First, for any of the kids that will be in the wedding are their parents in the position to buy/rent outfits for the kids, especially if they are already in the wedding party & having to pay for clothes for themselves or does your budget have room for you to purchase/rent outfits. Also each child will also need flowers, what kind depends on their role but your flower bill will go up & then also each child should technically get a gift too just like the adults in your wedding party would.

I'm not saying don't do it, but take the costs into consideration. On thing you can have the older nieces/nephews do is to hand out programs to guests as they come. I also had wedding them activity bags (wedding theme coloring book/crayon set & fruit snacks) in a cute bag handed out to each child who came to ceremony to help keep them entertained during ceremony. The nieces & nephews where great for handing them out.

If you are doing bubbles or something else after your exit from your ceremony, they can hand those out to the guests.

lightofashrah · November 2012

I understand your problem. I've got 3 nieces and 8 nephews (10 from one sister). I'm only including the eldest who will be 14 by the time I get married because she is my god-daughter and the only one I can even say I am close with. The others will be attending as guests as there have been fights within our group of friends and family regarding who will receive the titles of "flower girl" and "ring bearer" (my sister and his family have demanded that their kid gets the spot light and be the only ones so we decided not to have a ring bearer or flower girl to stop all fights). So I know we cannot afford to have all 11 (12 by that time as my future sister-in-law is pregnant) in our wedding.

Think about you budget before making any decisions.

What to do with nieces and nephews?!

Re: What to do with nieces and nephews?!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards