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flower girl or no flower girl?

JCHMASJCHMAS member
Fourth Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Party
so i recently asked my FH's sister in law if she wanted her kids to be invited to the wedding. We would have a very large number of under 5 kids coming if I was to decide kids were invited. (still haven't decided). So her response was well....i understand not wanting kids because I didn't want them at my own BUT if the kids aren't invited I have no one to watch them over night (they live out state) I won't be able to come as I'll have to watch them.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?????

I could incorporate them as flower girl and ring bearer BUT there is another problem. I am a nanny and one set of kids I use to watch have had it set in their minds they are going ot be part of my wedding party. ages will be 7 and 8 1/2. How do I: A. tell them you can't be in it? B. let all of these kids be in the wedding party ( it would end up being 5) and keep them all from having a meltdown during the cake cutting (you know around bed time) C. do I just decide NO kids period and people may just not be able to come?

I hate the thought of letting kids down or making an adult whom I am very fond of miss the wedding because her kids aren't invited


If you were in my shoes how would you approach it? I want to spare feelings but also my own sanity!!!!Sealed
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Re: flower girl or no flower girl?

  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    You could have the kids you nanny be in the wedding party and then keep the rest of the kids to immediate family kids only. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • BarbiiieeeBarbiiieee member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited January 2013
    I don't think 5 kids in the wedding party is too many, depending. In my family, family generally is first for WPs, so I do think it is kind of weird you would choose children you work for over your future niece and/or nephew, but that is totally your choice. I'm a teacher and I totally understand loving the kids you work with.

    If you don't invite the kids, does that mean your fiance's brother also won't be attending (I'm guessing it is his wife you're talking about)? If so, I would invite them, even if you don't have them in the WP. Being a nanny, I'm willing to bet you have some crafty ideas on how to entertain children, put those to good use! You could always put out coloring books or small games they can play while seated at their tables. You could also go all out and hire someone to watch/entertain the kids in a separate area. Good luck!
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  • Gumby68Gumby68 member
    10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    We will have a ton of little kids at our wedding, so we decided to have the reception at a museum that has multiple rides that are adult and child friendly. This will help keep them busy and lessen them from being bored. There is a strong possibility of screaming and crying throughout the day, but we are ok with that. We're also including a lot of the little kids in the ceremony, but that was because that was what WE wanted. I don't recommend including them if it will cause you too much stress. I realize our approach wouldn't work for everyone. 

    You still have plenty of time to make a decision. I would recommend thinking about how you will feel if your niece and nephew aren't at the wedding. If you really want the other kids to be in the wedding, There isn't anything wrong with including them and inviting your niece and nephew but no other kids. Unless you're not inviting other nieces and nephews, then this works perfect. 
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  • JCHMASJCHMAS member
    Fourth Anniversary First Comment
    Thanks everyone. One option we are considering is having kids in the wedding party- deal with any mishaps If they occur. It would be two flower girls a ring bearer and a junior bridesmaid. Only the wedding party children are then invited to the reception. Which seems like the best one. My mother however is strongly opposed to any kids at the reception. Me and my FH are paying for everything so in the end its our decision I just am a people pleaser and want everyone to be happy in the end..... Although I'm sure kids or no kids people will have fun and enjoy the day!!
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  • negirls009negirls009 member
    10 Comments
    http://www.annabridalshop.com/mori-lee-voyage-wedding-dresses-style-6742_p2594.html
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