I wanted to write a post to get the thoughts of other brides-to-be on this issue I find myself in. There are deep rooted issues within this family so I'll do my best for a quick synopsis. (Background we are both 25, Fiance is 1/2 way done school on the GI bill after the military and I work as a corporate paralegal)
My Fiance- D has always had a tense relationship with his mother who is very controlling. She has been divorced 2x (over 20 years from D's father) and is in a long term relationship. She often tells everyone all the things she has to do in a day, how busy she is and how any plans others suggest often don't fit into what she must do. She loves to shop- has every Longaberger basket ever created, always dresses lovely from Talbots and leases very nice cars.
The issues of contention that relate to our wedding:
1. It is a Friday night which kicks of the Bike Race she is doing and this is an issue for her.
2. She MIGHT consider taking 1/2 day of work off
3. We have tried to include her in planning by, for example- sending her proofs of invites for design concept purposes. When I did this, she replied- Why aren't I listed on the invite??? ( the invite had my parents inviting guests). We kindly explained that it's just a proof and in fact, no ones going to be listed since we're paying for the wedding ourselves.
4. She never asks how she can help ( either her time or her financially).
5. We took her to dinner to share with her more details and request if she could help financially in any capacity. She ignored all the 'ques' to contribute.
MIL often has issues with other women in the workplace... I sometimes wonder if she is threatened by me? She totally doesn't seem to care about our wedding in any way which is really hurtful and sad. More issues arose that would take a long time to explain- but it ended where she told D's brother many lies to support her stance that more of her family should be invited and NO ONE TELLS HER SHE SHOULDNT GO TO HER BIKE RACE. Essentially, my finace made the decision that he won't invite her. I'm both very angry at her becuase she isn't a very good mom to D, and to me.... and I'm very hurt - why does she hate me? why doesn't she support us? ...... Anyone have any support or expereice?
Please no nasty comments on this.