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Wedding shower

unionportunionport
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in Moms and Maids
Hi Ladies,

My daughter's wedding is in October.  The Maid of Honor is planning a shower in late May.  She is doing this to avoid summer vacations and the traffic on our roads is especially heavy in the summer.  We read that the proper planning is two months before the wedding.,  Do any of you think this is  a great "faux pas"?  Any opinions and advice would be greatly appreciated.  thanks, Ellen
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Re: Wedding shower

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    misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    I planned a shower 2 months in advance purely because it was based around mine and the bride's schedules, I've also (grudgingly) planned a shower for a bride 6 days before her wedding. I'd rather see it early than a week before the wedding. 

    Just be sure your daughter doesn't use the gifts until after the wedding, but thank you cards are sent asap. 

    Congratulations!
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    I think the 2 month rule is stupid.  It really should be based around the brides and the people who are planning the shower schedule.  You should have the shower when it is convienent for most people and don't base it around a "rule".

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    em01092em01092 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_wedding-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:2e5f10eb-fa7d-43cf-8957-740b1346e13fPost:9ebde7d0-7bce-49d5-9de9-1ab7288cd359">Re: Wedding shower</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think the 2 month rule is stupid.  It really should be based around the brides and the people who are planning the shower schedule.  You should have the shower when it is convienent for most people and don't base it around a "rule".
    Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

    <div>This.</div>
    April Siggy Challenge-Wedding Escape: Reading HG/dreaming about Peeta.... Image and video hosting by TinyPic Wedding Countdown Ticker Bio-Updated 4/22**
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    kmmssgkmmssg mod
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    Make sure that anyone invited to the shower is on the final guest list.  If you aren't sure they will be invited to the wedding they must not be invited to the shower.
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    Kate61487Kate61487 member
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    I'm pretty sure the two month rule evolved from the fact that wedding invitations don't go out until 8 weeks before the wedding and you'd usually not invite someone to a bridal shower for a wedding they haven't been invited to yet, kwim?

    I don't think it's a huge deal, and if May really is the best time for the bride then whatever, but having it in May just b/c there's traffic in the summer seems pretty silly.  Plus having all those gifts sitting around the house for 5 months might drive the bride insane (jk... mostly)  For real, though - my shower was right at the 2 month mark and I was SO sick of my dinning room being completely overtaken by a stack of gifts I couldn't unpack and put away. 

    So basically:  not a HUGE faux pas, but it could lead to some unexpected headaches so maybe your daughter and the MOH should take a second look at how important avoiding potential summer vacations is.

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    memiliememilie member
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    Why can't you use the gifts until after the wedding?  And even if it is a faux-pas, whose going to know? 
    Just curious...getting married in June and I can't wait to start getting presents so I can get rid of my single girl rag-tag kitchen and bath items. :)
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    Kate61487Kate61487 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_wedding-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:2e5f10eb-fa7d-43cf-8957-740b1346e13fPost:11ff1596-43a2-47c1-9695-abd556e408f6">Re: Wedding shower</a>:
    [QUOTE]Why can't you use the gifts until after the wedding?  And even if it is a faux-pas, whose going to know?  Just curious...getting married in June and I can't wait to start getting presents so I can get rid of my single girl rag-tag kitchen and bath items. :)
    Posted by memilie[/QUOTE]

    You're not supposed to use any gifts before the wedding b/c if for whatever reason the wedding doesn't happen you're supposed to return them.  Obviously none of us want to think of our wedding not happening as planned, but things do happen: fights/break ups or an accident.  From a practicality stand point unless you've got the money in the bank to replace all the gifts you open/use it's a bad idea.  But also, because of this, many people consider it bad luck or a 'jinx' if you use any gifts. You're also not supposed to spend any cash gifts you receive (although you do deposit checks).

    If you do decide to use gifts before the wedding you shouldn't let the gift giver know, better to stick with "can't wait to try it out!" in your thank yous.

    image

     

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    unionportunionport
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    Hi ReTread Bride

    What are your feelings on the above if "save the dates" are sent out.  they will include an "invitation to follow" sentence.  this way ladies who are invited to the shower already know that they will be invited to the wedding .  I think because we are all involved in weddings we read much of the supposed "rules". .  However prior to this, when I was invited to showers, I never gave a thought to how soon the wedding was
    I really feel we add too much stress on ourselves and the brides worrying about what others will think .  I hope you will be in a better mood for the next 40 years!
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    I have to agree with Unionport in regards to the STDs.  These are sent out around the 9 month mark and since everyone who gets a STD must be invited to the wedding then having a shower earlier then 2 months out should not be that big of a deal.

    I still stand by what I posted earlier.  You and whoever is hosting the shower should do what is best for you.  If certain dates work better then others and just so happen to fall earlier then the two month mark then so be it.

    I also believe that a wedding shower invite acts like a STD...if you were invited to the shower then you should know you will be invited to the wedding.  But that is just me using my common sense and I know that there are some brides out there who may not think this way.

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