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Feeling Depressed

I finally get to have the wedding I never had. But I am sad. I thought I had my dress picked out but I don't like it anymore. So, no dress!! :( I don't have anyone to talk wedding stuff with. My sister is my maid of honor but we had a falling out several months ago and just started back talking about 2 months ago. It doesn't feel the same. She is doing everything right and happily but it is just different. Then I chose black for my bridesmaid because they all look good in it and I want them all to feel beautiful. The problem with this is a good friend had black bridesmaid dresses and I don't want her to feel like I was copying her. My hubby thinks I am freaking out for no reason. So today I am looking for a wedding coordinator. Then did I mention my doctoral program starts August. I guess is it ok that my mood is swing back and forth about this wedding?

Re: Feeling Depressed

  • In Response to Re: Feeling Depressed:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Feeling Depressed : Perhaps he thinks you are freaking out because you two are already married. Even if 497 things go wrong, you are already married so it's not like the outcome of the day changes...
    Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]
    This. Plus tons of people have black BM dresses I highly doubt anyone would think you're copying them. If they do, they should just get over themselves.
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  • In Response to Re: Feeling Depressed:
    [QUOTE]Wait.  What?
    Posted by 1covejack[/QUOTE]

    Ditto... I'm confused.
    OP, I'm having black BM dresses. I think it's a pretty popular choice so I wouldn't worry about that!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to Re: Feeling Depressed:
    [QUOTE]Perhaps you are feeling depressed because you do not feel like a bride.  This is because you are not a bride.  You cannot possibly experience the wedding rush after you are already married.  There are several ladies who have tried to do what you are doing, and were similarly disappointed with their feelings.  There just is no do-over with weddings. Try planning a nice vow renewal.  It won't be the same as a wedding, but you can have a lovely time with friends and family, and you won't get the side-eye for trying to re-do your wedding.  Here is a good website.  (Sorry - no bridesmaids!) http://www.idotaketwo.com/vow_renewal_etiquette.html
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

    This.
  • In Response to Feeling Depressed:
    [QUOTE]I finally get to have the wedding I never had. But I am sad. I thought I had my dress picked out but I don't like it anymore. So, no dress!! :( I don't have anyone to talk wedding stuff with. My sister is my maid of honor but we had a falling out several months ago and just started back talking about 2 months ago. It doesn't feel the same. She is doing everything right and happily but it is just different. Then I chose black for my bridesmaid because they all look good in it and I want them all to feel beautiful. The problem with this is a good friend had black bridesmaid dresses and I don't want her to feel like I was copying her. My hubby thinks I am freaking out for no reason. So today I am looking for a wedding coordinator. Then did I mention my doctoral program starts August. I guess is it ok that my mood is swing back and forth about this wedding?
    Posted by jacintai[/QUOTE]

    What are you looking to accomplish with this "wedding"? What about a vow renewal. You can wait until an anniversary and still invite the same people. You might be feeling depressed because you feel as though you have missed out. If you really are depressed, please find someone to talk to about how you are feeling. Perhaps a parent or another friend that you have not had a falling out with. You are obviously going through a stressful time in your life.
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  • If you are already married then you had your wedding.  I'm sorry that your wedding wasn't what you wanted, but having a fake do-over wedding isn't going to change the day you married your husband, not to mention any guests and other people you are involving are totally going to be side-eyeing you thinking, "She's already married?"

    Celebrate the fact that you are married to your husband.  Aren't you happy that you are married to the man you love? That should be all that matters! What do you want a do-over for?

    If you want to do a vow renewal, which is totally different, you can plan that.  But having a wedding dress, bridesmaids, and all the other bells and whistles that come with a wedding is not appropriate at all.
  • You are aleady married but having a wedding....say wha?????

    But on the topic of the dress...I thought I hated my dress...I lost sleep over it but when it came in and I tried it on I was reassured that was my dress.  Still don't think it was the perfect dress but I was happy with it non-the-less.
    November 2011 Siggy Challenge: The First Kiss
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    Fall Wedding Bio
  • I'm going to go all "amateur therapist" on you, but I'm basing this entirely off one post and don't know you at all, so if I'm way off base, please don't be offended.

    It seems to me that you see your value in material objects and events other than memories and love.
    You are already married, yet weren't satisfied with what you got, so now you want to magically do it over.
    I believe part of the reason you're depressed is because its not real. You're pretended to get married, when you already are married.
    You expected the new dress to make you happy, but it doesn't have that magical effect you were expecting.

    Things may seem weird between you and your sister because deep down you both know this is just an act.

    Instead of trying to "fix" what you feel you didn't get the first time, look at what you have instead. You married the love of your life. Why does it matter if you were wearing the perfect dress or not?
    image Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to Re: Feeling Depressed:
    [QUOTE]I'm going to go all "amateur therapist" on you, but I'm basing this entirely off one post and don't know you at all, so if I'm way off base, please don't be offended. It seems to me that you see your value in material objects and events other than memories and love. You are already married, yet weren't satisfied with what you got, so now you want to magically do it over. I believe part of the reason you're depressed is because its not real. You're pretended to get married, when you already are married. You expected the new dress to make you happy, but it doesn't have that magical effect you were expecting. Things may seem weird between you and your sister because deep down you both know this is just an act. Instead of trying to "fix" what you feel you didn't get the first time, look at what you have instead. You married the love of your life. Why does it matter if you were wearing the perfect dress or not?
    Posted by LizziebeeUT[/QUOTE]

    How ethical of you.

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • J&K10910J&K10910 member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2012
    In Response to Re: Feeling Depressed:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Feeling Depressed : My post is both medical AND legal advice, and I disagree with your amateur diagnosis.
    Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

    You need to brush up on your medical lingo if you're going to give medical advice.  OF COURSE Lizzie didn't diagnose her.  Diagnoses come with numbers.  At least in the mental health world.

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • edited February 2012
    lol, I don't know if I can argue with a doctor who has such a badass staple remover.
    image Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I'd like to request that you fix my typos in your quote, since you quoted me faster than I could fix them. 

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • My bouquet was quite badass.  You don't want to know how many people it went bridezilla on and beat over the head, all by itself with no input from me.

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • In Response to Re: Feeling Depressed:
    [QUOTE]I'm going to go ahead and assume Lizzie's lack of response is actually silent agreement with J&K's point.
    Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

    Or I had a job to get to.

    I don't see anything wrong with my previous post. Its no different than anyone else's posts on these boards except I started mine with an admission that I know nothing about the woman other than her one post.
    image Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • It technically will be vow renewal because we did just of piece. It was nothing special when we got married. I don't even have pictures. So I call it our wedding.
  • Thanks Ladies all you all did is made me feel even worse about (wedding) vow renewal. We did not even get a wedding because we did JOP. I don't have one picture to show for that day just us and the marriage license. My husband also wants the vow renewal because he felt like the way we did it the first time was rushed and wanted a minister instead of an officer of the court. Hindsite is 20/20. I don't understand why someone would give someone the side eye for doing something that harms no one and makes them happy. I am sooooooooo sorry if this is not etiquette based. How can you call it a do over if you never had bridesmaids in the first place. Not unless you count the 2 vending machines that were sitting next to me in the hallway. Again, thank you for your etiquette advice but I will not post anything again. I was hoping to get some support and advice but now I feel I have just opened myself up to bashed. Thanks for the website links.
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