AW Thur

bobbileighb · March 2012

I havent started a post over here in almost a year, so sorry if its a little out of place. With that said Kylie, that one picture is just stunning and I cannot wait to see more!!

crash2729 · March 2012

FI and I got our rings!

His

mine

And that is an awesome picture Kylie! I can't wait to see the rest on Monday.

cwaggoner07 · March 2012

And aren't we all stalkerazzi this morning... love the pics Kylie!

No AW here... just trying to make it through the week for Registry Sunday!!!

ktwed1 · March 2012

Not much here. Going to see if I can get my daughter to go BM dress shopping tomorrow. But that may not happen she's way to excited about her prom dress she just got yesterday. I have yet to see it on her because she ordered so I'm sure I will get a fashion show tonight after work and she'll opt for shoe shopping instead of BM dresses. Oh well, shopping is shopping and I might get myself a pair of shoes too..

winechic25 · March 2012

Thank you guys!! I love it, and Matt loves it, so woohoo! I'm not going to be able to contain myself until Monday. Good thing we have a busy weekend. My wedding related AW is we got our final package from our videographer last night, so we got to relive the magic! And it was fun!! My NWR AW, is that our "remodel" of our formal living/wine room is almost done! We had picture frame molding torn down a few weeks ago and paneling installed and totally framed out the wall with our windows on it, and today it's all being sprayed white. And we made a decision on what/how we were painting the top. Of course the lady doing it can't get us on the schedule until early June. Really? Ugh!!

juliebug1997 · March 2012

Kristan, Bill and I had a great time last night seeing "Casablanca". I do have one observation though. I hear the "older" generation complaining about the "younger" generation not having common courtesy, etc. However, I have never heard so many people talking during a movie or letting their cell phones ring out loud in my life. It was pretty annoying to be there watching AFI's #2 American movie with all that going on. Also, I had see "Casablanca" a long time ago and thought I was going to be bored. I wasn't and there were lots of little jokes that were really very funny. If you haven't seen it yet, definitely check it out.

kristan1022 · March 2012

Julie-

I had a great time too! But seriously, are they just too deaf to turn off their dang phones? It was very obnoxious! Especially since I'd never seen it before, I kept worrying I was going to miss something.

I agree with Julie, if you haven't seen Casablanca, you're missing out!

Kylie, YAY for B&G pics!

Kathleen I LOVE your rings! I need to get on FI to make a decision on his. Everytime I ask which one he wants, he just says "Whichever one is cheapest"... sometimes I love him for this, but this time I don't :-P

Slight vent:

I was so proud of myself for getting list of dresses together for the bridesmaids to start choosing from... until the trouble BM starts complaining about sizing and how will she know if it's going to fit if she doesn't get to try it on (keep in mind, this girl is like a size 2). Among her other questions were "Are these are only choices? Can we get a different dress in a similar color?" Um, no, because I waited 3 MONTHS for any of you to come up with dress suggestions, and none of you did, so I picked the exact color I want, and gave you 7 different choices. Get over it!

My poor sister (MOH) is the liason for this, so she called me 3 times last night with questions. I told her to tell the BM she's more than welcome to drive down to FW to try on the dresses and pick the one she likes best if that's what she wants, but that I need a decision by the end of next week, and the money within 2 weeks after that. And of course the order can't be placed until all of the girls pay in full for their dresses. Guess who will be holding up the dress order by not paying on time?

winechic25 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thur?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:fb59840b-f7c7-4024-8a80-89759868adb0Post:612fef6b-c3f5-4863-a530-6701162e3ba8">Re: AW Thur</a>:
[QUOTE] Kathleen I LOVE your rings! I need to get on FI to make a decision on his. Everytime I ask which one he wants, he just says "Whichever one is cheapest"... sometimes I love him for this, but this time I don't.
Posted by kristan1022[/QUOTE]

Matt was this way too. Actually, James Avery has very nice rings, and under $100. We were walking through the mall one day, and randomly found one we both loved at Zales. It was cheap, and it's gorgeous. Score.

kristan1022 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thur?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:fb59840b-f7c7-4024-8a80-89759868adb0Post:9a420837-5637-4e32-bc64-c315f680ace2">Re: AW Thur</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AW Thur : Matt was this way too. Actually, James Avery has very nice rings, and <strong>under $100</strong>. We were walking through the mall one day, and randomly found one we both loved at Zales. It was cheap, and it's gorgeous. Score.
Posted by winechic25[/QUOTE]

<div>Lol he's not that cheap- he wants diamonds in his ring. All the guys in his family have them, so who am I to break tradition? He's trying to choose between this one (<a href="http://www.zales.com/product/index.jsp?productId=11453181&kpc=1" rel="nofollow">clicky</a>) with 1 CT of diamonds in 14K white gold, or this one (<a href="http://www.samsclub.com/sams/shop/product.jsp?productId=prod2380399&?searchCategoryId=all&searchTerm=905667&_requestid=268496" rel="nofollow">clicky</a>) in white gold. There's only maybe $300 difference between them, and if he's going to wear this every day, I want him to pick the one he likes best.</div>

professorscience · March 2012

WOW, Kylie, that is GORGEOUS!

I have no AWs. I woke up feeling sick, I had to pay $36 to stop a check that the stupid tax assessor's office lost, and I think I'm going to have to take tomorrow off and I don't have anymore days. I am one giant crab, so I am glad you guys all have good news.

angelsong21 · March 2012

AW: FI is leaving for treatment today.

I'm not handling it well. At all. I have spent a better part of the last 24 hours having panic attacheds and bawling my brains out. I feel ridiculous but I am going to miss him so much. He is scared, and that makes it even harder to put him on the plane.

He talked to his parents last night to tell them he was going. We're the ones that have had a great relationship up until now when they have now stopped e-mailing me and corresponding with me, talking to him alone about how he should handle this situation. Last night his mother told him that he needs to be doing this for himself and not for me, and that if he woke up in the middle of the night and changed his mind about going, that he should leave and drive to their cabin or back to Lubbock to get away from the situation/me. I'm in shock... absolute shock.

God grant me strength and peace today. I have no idea how I am not going to complete fall apart.

Hopefully this is the last of my uber depressing posts. I just had to write this down somewhere... sorry it was here. Thanks for all of your support.

juliebug1997 · March 2012

Amy,
I don't really know what to say, except consider yourself hugged. While FMIL is right that he needs to be doing this for himself, he obviously needed that push that you have given him to get through this and you are in this together. I'll keep you in my prayers for the next few weeks.

ejheart · March 2012

Amy, that is awful. You will get through this though. Just keep thinking positive thoughts, and looking forward to the future when it's done, and you'll be reuinted! Hopefully it will all be worth it in the end.

On a more positive note, my AW: I finally solved my dress dilemma!...and no, I didn't buy the $1800 one! Wheeee! I found one for $800 less that I loved. I may have to post pics later. Carrie, if you see this...it was the Allure one that I told you about that is so similar to yours (and I got it at Terry Costa's!). I'm pretty stoked about it. I'm also pretty stoked about having an extra $800 for something else.

I will always love that Justin Alexander dress, but it just wasn't meant to be. Later, my mom told me "Phew, now I can tell you what I REALLY thought of it. I thought it looked like you were wearing a table cloth." Gee, thanks mom. Haha.

Other AW: we decided on a cake place and I'm sending the deposit off today! Now if we could only decide on the dang honeymoon...

cwaggoner07 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thur?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:fb59840b-f7c7-4024-8a80-89759868adb0Post:fed8ae31-f0d8-4769-a2b3-73a495e92a43">Re: AW Thur</a>:
[QUOTE]Amy, that is awful. You will get through this though. Just keep thinking positive thoughts, and looking forward to the future when it's done, and you'll be reuinted! Hopefully it will all be worth it in the end. On a more positive note, my AW: I finally solved my dress dilemma!...and no, I didn't buy the $1800 one! Wheeee! I found one for $800 less that I loved. I may have to post pics later. Carrie, if you see this...it was the Allure one that I told you about that is so similar to yours (and I got it at Terry Costa's!). I'm pretty stoked about it. I'm also pretty stoked about having an extra $800 for something else. :) I will always love that Justin Alexander dress, but it just wasn't meant to be. Later, my mom told me "Phew, now I can tell you what I REALLY thought of it. I thought it looked like you were wearing a table cloth." Gee, thanks mom. Haha. Other AW: we decided on a cake place and I'm sending the deposit off today! Now if we could only decide on the dang honeymoon...
Posted by ejheart[/QUOTE]

YAY I'm so happy for you! We are practically dress twins! I just got the call yesterday that mine came in earlier than expected!

Amy - I just want to let you know how strong you are, and please don't let FMIL get inside your head. Yeah, he may have not gone if not for you... but that's a GOOD thing. Both FI and I have done things in life that we probably wouldn't have done were we not together, but that's what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to bring out the best in each other, call each other out when necessary, and be each other's support system.
If not for FI, I would still be a little hot-headed and selfish toward others... but I have learned so much from him. On the flip side, he never would have gone off to film school had I not gently pushed him that direction. We have both made each other better, and I know for a fact that is what this situation is for you and him.

professorscience · March 2012

Oh, Amy. I am so sorry to hear that. I don't know how FMIL can say something like that to try to drive a wedge between you two when you clearly have his best interests at heart. I will definitely pray for you, and FI, and FILs to be comforted through this time.

kristan1022 · March 2012

Amanda- Hope your day gets better

Amy- You guys are in my T&Ps for sure... you are so strong, don't let your FMIL tear you down. This is what is best for BOTH of you.

This week has been such a beat-down. I am currently regretting even having a wedding party.

angelsong21 · March 2012

Just got back from the airport. Didn't even have much time to say goodbye to him as when we got his gate, they were already boarding and he was A2. I have never felt so horrible in my life. Even when I went to treatment years ago, I was upset but it didn't hurt like this. My mom said it hurt her as much as its hurting me now to send FI to treatment, but she was thankful she at least had my dad. I have no one. I know if I can just make it through the rest of this week and this weekend I'll be okay. It will be fine, and I know this. I just hurts so bad right now. I have no idea what to do with myself.

Randy was explaining the program to her last night and he was telling her about the Family Week that they do. His mom apparently told him if he just really wanted them to go, they would try come. I can't make this stuff up. How the hell do you NOT support your child when they are trying to get better? I feel like my decision to try to get him some help has possibly completely destroyed the relationship between myself and his parents, if not also him and his parents. He was pretty hurt last night.

And then on the other hand, I'm sitting here crying hysterically but military spouses go through this x1000 and handle it much better. I feel like an asshole for being this broken about the situation, I really do.

juliebug1997 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thur?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:fb59840b-f7c7-4024-8a80-89759868adb0Post:2df1317a-6e3c-47e5-988d-6747345ca8f2">Re: AW Thur</a>:
[QUOTE] I feel like my decision to try to get him some help has possibly completely destroyed the relationship between myself and his parents, if not also him and his parents. He was pretty hurt last night.
Posted by angelsong21[/QUOTE]

How does he feel about how they have behaved in regards to this? Do they really think he doesn't have a problem?

As for your relationship to them, you can't control their behavior. I have semi-tried to stop doing this with my ILs but it's really hard and I would think it would be even harder in your case since your ILs at least used to like you (mine never have).

professorscience · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thur?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:fb59840b-f7c7-4024-8a80-89759868adb0Post:2df1317a-6e3c-47e5-988d-6747345ca8f2">Re: AW Thur</a>:
[QUOTE] And then on the other hand, I'm sitting here crying hysterically but military spouses go through this x1000 and handle it much better. I feel like an asshole for being this broken about the situation, I really do.
Posted by angelsong21[/QUOTE]

Don't do that to yourself. You have every right to feel the way that you do, regardless of the degree of your separation.

Let me know if you want food or something.

kristan1022 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thur?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:fb59840b-f7c7-4024-8a80-89759868adb0Post:a49e59f1-9fdc-4a79-bbd4-99f7f9ae4965">Re: AW Thur</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AW Thur : Don't do that to yourself. You have every right to feel the way that you do, regardless of the degree of your separation. Let me know if you want food or something.
Posted by professorscience[/QUOTE]

<div>ITA with Amanda. Of course you are going to be upset- it's your FI, he's hurting, you're hurting. It's 2 months from your wedding and you're being suddenly separated.... I would totally lose it. Do not feel bad for being emotional about it, in my experience the hardest things are the right things, and they're the ones that are the hardest on us emotionally.</div>

bsn1752 · March 2012

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii everyone!

I have a moment away from my freakin' work right now.

Catching up:
We're in the option period buying a home in Grapevine right now. We had the home inspection today, and after a few repairs... we should be in the house by May!

Angelsong: I tried to go back through a couple old posts, and if you don't want to talk about it, I understand. What's going on with FI? I'm sorry to hear you're having such a rough time.

Kylie - LOVE. That is all.

Everyone else - Congrats on the AWs!!

kristan1022 · March 2012

Hi Brianna! We've missed you!

roseofdeborah · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thur?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:fb59840b-f7c7-4024-8a80-89759868adb0Post:2df1317a-6e3c-47e5-988d-6747345ca8f2">Re: AW Thur</a>:
[QUOTE]J And then on the other hand, I'm sitting here crying hysterically but military spouses go through this x1000 and handle it much better. I feel like an asshole for being this broken about the situation, I really do.
Posted by angelsong21[/QUOTE]

My MOH is a military spouse. She has spent more time away from her husband being married than she has with him, and it's been very hard on her. She spends quite a bit of time crying hysterically even though its been months. So don't feel like you are weak for being broken. Your stronger for being able to handle it at all even if it is just barely hanging on. I hope you find someone in the mean time you can confide and trust in to help.

FebDallasBride · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thur?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:fb59840b-f7c7-4024-8a80-89759868adb0Post:2df1317a-6e3c-47e5-988d-6747345ca8f2">Re: AW Thur</a>:
[QUOTE]Just got back from the airport. Didn't even have much time to say goodbye to him as when we got his gate, they were already boarding and he was A2. I have never felt so horrible in my life. Even when I went to treatment years ago, I was upset but it didn't hurt like this. My mom said it hurt her as much as its hurting me now to send FI to treatment, but she was thankful she at least had my dad. I have no one. I know if I can just make it through the rest of this week and this weekend I'll be okay. It will be fine, and I know this. I just hurts so bad right now. I have no idea what to do with myself. Randy was explaining the program to her last night and he was telling her about the Family Week that they do. His mom apparently told him if he just really wanted them to go, they would try come. I can't make this stuff up. How the hell do you NOT support your child when they are trying to get better? I feel like my decision to try to get him some help has possibly completely destroyed the relationship between myself and his parents, if not also him and his parents. He was pretty hurt last night. And then on the other hand, I'm sitting here crying hysterically but military spouses go through this x1000 and handle it much better. I feel like an asshole for being this broken about the situation, I really do.
Posted by angelsong21[/QUOTE]

Oh Amy, I am so sorry to read this. You and FI are both in my thoughts as you all go through this. Ditto, Amanda, if you need anything please let me know.

Kylie, I love the sneak peek :D

Brianna, how exciting re: house!

bsn1752 · March 2012

I've missed all of you too

MarieSD · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thur?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:fb59840b-f7c7-4024-8a80-89759868adb0Post:2df1317a-6e3c-47e5-988d-6747345ca8f2">Re: AW Thur</a>:
[QUOTE]Randy was explaining the program to her last night and he was telling her about the Family Week that they do. His mom apparently told him if he just really wanted them to go, they would try come. I can't make this stuff up. How the hell do you NOT support your child when they are trying to get better? I feel like my decision to try to get him some help has possibly completely destroyed the relationship between myself and his parents, if not also him and his parents.
Posted by angelsong21[/QUOTE]

I don't think you're permanently destroying anything. We had some drama with family members leading up to the wedding, but you'd never know it now. We have great relationships with each other's parents now.

Maybe she's defensive, you know? I'm just projecting here, but maybe she's the type that always thought of her son as her "baby" and thought he could do no wrong? And now, not only is he leaving the family and creating his OWN family by getting married, but he's also listening to YOU when you say he needs to change something about himself. So she feels protective and tells him that he's fine the way he is.

I hope she'll come around and realize this is for the best. I don't see how anyone could think this was a bad thing, certainly!

Be proud of him for making such a great step -- and resisting her when she was trying to give him an easy way out. That's great, and shows you right there that he's really in this with you.

MarieSD · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thur?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:fb59840b-f7c7-4024-8a80-89759868adb0Post:67af3219-c9da-4a2c-b973-07ffa0fbb5df">Re: AW Thur</a>:
[QUOTE]Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii everyone! I have a moment away from my freakin' work right now. :) Catching up: We're in the option period buying a home in Grapevine right now. We had the home inspection today, and after a few repairs... we should be in the house by May!
Posted by bsn1752[/QUOTE]

Congrats! That's very exciting!

ktwed1 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thur?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:fb59840b-f7c7-4024-8a80-89759868adb0Post:2df1317a-6e3c-47e5-988d-6747345ca8f2">Re: AW Thur</a>:
[QUOTE]. How the hell do you NOT support your child when they are trying to get better? I feel like my decision to try to get him some help has possibly completely destroyed the relationship between myself and his parents, if not also him and his parents. He was pretty hurt last night. And then on the other hand, I'm sitting here crying hysterically but military spouses go through this x1000 and handle it much better. I feel like an asshole for being this broken about the situation, I really do.
Posted by angelsong21[/QUOTE]

Don't feel like your decision to try and get him help is the wrong one because it's not. you want whats best for him and are willing to do what you need to get him that help. Parents can sometimes be in denial over certain things so at this point try not to worry about that. things have a way of turning out. Right now you need to concentrate on taking care of yourself while he's in treatment. Find things to occupy your mind and you have alot of girls here pulling for you and are here for you.
I was a military wife years ago and don't feel like an asshole for being upset and emotional. It doesn't matter what the situation it's hard to be away from loved ones especially when they are hurting as much as you are. These are your feelings and you have every right to those feelings. Your in my thoughts and prayers.

angelsong21 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thur?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:fb59840b-f7c7-4024-8a80-89759868adb0Post:94fc6b75-a4ac-4be9-9f94-b99edc9db0d5">Re: AW Thur</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AW Thur : Don't feel like your decision to try and get him help is the wrong one because it's not. you want whats best for him and are willing to do what you need to get him that help. Parents can sometimes be in denial over certain things so at this point try not to worry about that. things have a way of turning out. Right now you need to concentrate on taking care of yourself while he's in treatment. Find things to occupy your mind and you have alot of girls here pulling for you and are here for you. I was a military wife years ago and don't feel like an asshole for being upset and emotional. It doesn't matter what the situation it's hard to be away from loved ones especially when they are hurting as much as you are. These are your feelings and you have every right to those feelings. Your in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by ktwed1[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Oh no, I wasn't saying military spouses should feel badly for being emotional/upset -- I was saying I feel like an asshole because I'm so devastated but there are people who leave their families and put their lives in danger for months/years at a time and that type of grief is justified. I don't feel justified for this. He's gone for 4-6 weeks to get help and hopefully make some wonderful changes and here I am, just broken and sobbing like a small child. I just feel ridiculous. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-cry.gif" border="0" alt="Cry" title="Cry" /></div><div>
</div><div>I am so, SO thankful to you and all the girls on here who have been so incredibly supportive. I've never made it to a GTG so I've never met anyone here in person but to have the kind of outpouring of love all of you have shown is just... incredible. It's incredible. Because of my jam-packed school and work schedules, I really don't have friends IRL anymore. The few friends I do have have moved 40 minutes - 2 hours away and that's it. But I'm vowing now to go to the next GTG we have that doesn't truly conflict with work/school, meeting you ladies, and making some friends. Even if anyone has an informal GTG that you wouldn't mind having a new face at, I'll try my absolute hardest to make it. I clearly have some big changes I need to make in my life.</div><div>
</div><div>And I'm trying hard to not think about my FILs and how they have reacted, but my heart just breaks for FI about it. He desperately needed to hear from his parents last night that they were proud of him and supported him, and what he got instead was them telling him to run away and go home to them. He was so confused and hurt. Maybe they will come around and maybe they won't. They called me from the center tonight to confirm he had arrived and his tech assigned to him (who is really nice) said that I am the only person he listed as a point of contact -- he did not list his own parents.

</div><div>Thank you all again for letting me kind of vent about this today. Sorry to bring the mood of the board down. :( </div>

angelsong21 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thur?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:fb59840b-f7c7-4024-8a80-89759868adb0Post:d312dc32-9efa-48df-aa33-927ac5b2b9a4">Re: AW Thur</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AW Thur : I don't think you're permanently destroying anything. We had some drama with family members leading up to the wedding, but you'd never know it now. We have great relationships with each other's parents now. Maybe she's defensive, you know? I'm just projecting here, but maybe she's the type that always thought of her son as her "baby" and thought he could do no wrong?<strong> And now, not only is he leaving the family and creating his OWN family by getting married, but he's also listening to YOU when you say he needs to change something about himself. So she feels protective and tells him that he's fine the way he is.</strong> I hope she'll come around and realize this is for the best. I don't see how anyone could think this was a bad thing, certainly! Be proud of him for making such a great step -- and resisting her when she was trying to give him an easy way out. That's great, and shows you right there that he's really in this with you.
Posted by MarieSD[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I think you definitely make a good point about the bolded part above. I do think they are clearly trying to protect him; unforunately, what they really would be protecting is his drinking, and if he keeps drinking like this, he will die. It's only a matter of time. They just aren't here to witness it and I'm sure he has really minimized it with them. They essentially think that: </div><div>
</div><div>(1) I'm overreacting and he should have been able to try outpatient first.</div><div>
</div><div>(2) I forced him into treatment. Yes, I did an intervention with him to really push him into going, but he had a choice to say "yes" or to say "no." I can't force him to do anything -- what legal right would I have to do that?</div><div>
</div><div>(3) Not only did I force him to go, but I'm forcing him to pay for it. It's costing $5,000 for the program, and of that I've paid $2,500 today. I also paid $300 for the plane ticket, $350 for the intervention, $100 on supplies he needed, and I will have to pay for my own roundtrip ticket to South Padre and for 5 nights in a hotel in a tourist location ($$$) for Family Week. Add all that up and that's about $4300... which is $300 less than is what is in my savings account right now. If for any reason he comes home and decides to leave me or not stop using, my savings is totally gone. I have nothing left, and I'm a student with not that great of an income. I feel like I've given everything I have... literally. Not to mention we have $7,000 of wedding stuff due in May, and all of this money was supposed to be for that. I have no idea how we are going to pay for it. Meanwhile, they have they money and they did not offer to chip in one cent to help their son get the treatment he needs.</div><div>
</div><div>(4) They also think he hasn't had a drink in 3 weeks and I think they believe that their phone calls to him every.single.day are helping him realize he can "think is way" out of this. Perhaps the empty beer cans I found under his bathroom sink today would demonstrate to them that they have been dupped just like I have been.</div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>I'm just torn. I feel like if I dont' set the record straight, they may never even bother to try to figure out the truth. However, if I do, I could offend them so much so that they really do hate me.

</div>

MarieSD · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thur?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:fb59840b-f7c7-4024-8a80-89759868adb0Post:825a13fa-a7fd-40cf-9d64-35f7e7d02fda">Re: AW Thur</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AW Thur : I feel like if I dont' set the record straight, they may never even bother to try to figure out the truth. However, if I do, I could offend them so much so that they really do hate me.
Posted by angelsong21[/QUOTE]

All you have to tell them is that the two of you had a discussion, and he decided to go into treatment. They don't have to know the nitty-gritty details of why or how ... he's an adult, and he made this decision on his own. They HAVE to know that, deep down, even if they're blaming you now. (I hope.)

Once they get more used to the idea, I have to believe they'll come around. How could going to treatment/therapy of any kind ever be a bad thing??? Maybe they think you're overreacting, but they don't get to decide that. It's not their life. It's you and your FI's marriage and life together you're trying to help. They don't get a say in any of that.

And if he was unhappy or unhealthy before, and is happier and healthier afterwords, they'll see it was a good thing. Eventually. I would try the best you can not to worry about what they think. If they say anything, just reinforce that HE made this decision and you support him.

AW Thur

Re: AW Thur

Choose Another Board

Search Boards