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Moms and Maids

Plus Sized Bridesmaid Dress

I picked out several bridesmaid dresses and sent them to my girls in an email to let them pick the one they liked best. They all picked the ones shown in the picture. Great, I thought...no going back and fourth! Let's get measured and order the suckers! Not so fast.....two of my girls are plus sized and I got to thinking that this might not flatter their figures. I want them to be beautiful and most importantly feel comfortable. No tugging, pulling, or spilling "out". I've read that satin is a no no for plus sized girls. A couple of people told me that these aren't the best dresses because of the material, the form fit up top, and the fact that it doesn't have straps. What should I do? Do we start the search over?

Re: Plus Sized Bridesmaid Dress

  • lalap69lalap69 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You should have your BMs try the dresses on and give you their opinions then.  Other people might be well-meaning, but the opinion that matters is the one that belongs to the one who will be wearing the dresses.  They liked the dress in pictures, now find out if they like it on.
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  • tseaytseay member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Edie, I'm not trying to be difficult, but did you read my post? The first thing I said was that I sent them an email with several dresses and they all picked the ones shown in the picture. So yes, they did see the picture and yes, they did like the dress. My question is whether or not this is the best dress for a plus sized woman.
  • tseaytseay member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    lalap...you're right!!! I'm going to send them local store info (they're all in different states) and ask them to try it on, take lots of pics, and tell me what they think. I just hope that they have enough sizes in the store to accomodate everyone. Maybe if they don't have the actual dress they'll have something similar.
  • lalap69lalap69 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Sounds great.  You might also want to suggest that they're welcome to look at anything else they think they'd like there - they might find a dress you didn't even consider!  Let us know how it goes.
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  • lalap69lalap69 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Just wanted to add - are you open to the idea of them wearing different dresses?  My girls are (probably) getting their dresses from Alfred Angelo.  They go up to a size 30W.  I'm picking the length, colour and fabric, they get to pick the style.  If you're worried about how it will fit their different shapes, this might work well for you.
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  • melissamc2melissamc2 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Most major designers go well into the plus category of sizing now, so if the girls all picked that dress, you'll have to have a little faith that they know what they will and will not look good in - and FEEL good/comfortable in.

    I, personally, do not think those particular gowns posted will be ideal for anyone with a thicker waist, larger hips, or a huge bust, but everyone feels differently about how things look.   Plus sizes aren't the only ones you have to worry about - there are some gowns that look horrible on very thin women, as well.

    I would use the suggestions above about giving them more options and reminding them to look around the store for anything they feel would suit them better.  Also, I am a firm believer in always offering up the option of wraps, shrugs, pashminas, or something arm-covering. 

    Keep in mind, too, that alterations can change so much about a gown when done correctly.   Good luck!
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  • edited December 2011
    The one thing about having them try on, is that unfortunately most sample bridesmaid dresses are between sizes 6-12 so it is very difficult to have a plus size girl go to try them on at the store. I'm running into this too...it sucks!
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  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I think I would look like a stuffed sausage in that dress, and I'm a size 12.  Why not either 1) give them some basic guidelines and let them choose their own, or 2) let them go shopping, either on their own or with you, find several dresses that they'd be fine with, and send all of the information to you so you can sort out something that will work for everyone.  I think emilyinchile did something like the second one, with BMs scattered across two continents.

    I went the first route with my girls: I had sizes 4-24, and told them to just wear black.  It made life approximately 4.6 trillion times easier.
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  • tseaytseay member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Viter you're right about having enough sizes to try on in the store, that's why I mentioned that I hope they have a variety of sizes or at least styles similar in their size so they can get an idea.

    Lalap, I know thats all the rage right now, getting bridesmaid dresses in different styles, but that's not me and thankfully my girls agree. If they didn't I might consider it, but thankfully I don't have to worry about it. I'm sure we'll be able to find a dress that flatters everyone.
  • edited December 2011
    Tseay - I'm not a small girl (as you can see in my siggy) and I have to tell you that I would feel COMPLETELY self-conscious in all of those dresses.  Everything you've chosen is either completely fitted to the body, or fitted in the waist and hips, and if a bride made me wear any of those dresses, I would cry.  Or drop out.

    Have you looked at dresses that have more of an A-line shape, or that are empire waist?  Satin isn't a no-no, so long as the cut of the dress is flattering.  On a larger girl, the smallest part of our body tends to be right underneath the bust, so try looking for a dress that emphasizes that part of the body, rather than the waist and hips.
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  • tseaytseay member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Saison.....I guess I'm going to blame myself for the miscommunication. Let me clarify something. I picked out several dresses. The dresses you see in the picture is one of the styles that the girls chose from. In other words, you're seeing the dress THEY picked out. We were looking at it as one dress (because they basically are) and not three. You have not seen any of the other dresses that I chose because they chose that one as their fav.

    Now that we have that cleared up thanks so much for your ideas. We looked at A-line dresses and this was the one that they liked best. I am just trying to figure out if it will look the best on them. I am going with Viter's advice and asking the girls to try it on at the store. The only problem that presents is if they have their size in store to try on before we order them. If not, I'm going to encourage them to try on other dresses...some in the same style and others that are different.
  • nannewmurnannewmur member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Tseay,

    You posted this on another board and I replied there.  I vote to keep looking and keep the maids' comfort in mind and cost of alterations.  GL!
  • graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Have the girls try on the dresses and if they can't find the exact same ones locally, they should at least try one on that is the same style. Then they'll be able to make the call whether they feel comfortable in them or not. It can't hurt to have a few back-ups picked out. My girls have different shapes and while I have my #1 choice of dress, I have a 2 and 3 and 4 picked out just in case they don't look right. 
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  • SSaltzman87SSaltzman87 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    The styles in the picture are honestly very nice looking, but for a plus size woman-probably not. I'm an 18 myself and know that I would need all the spanx in the world to look even remotely good in one of those dresses.

    Although, it nevers hurts to have these girls actually try them on. You and they may go in a completely different direction.
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  • tseaytseay member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks Nann, Gray, and Ssaltz......I've officially decided to begin the bm dress search again. I want them to look beautiful, be comfortable, and not have to pay an arm and a leg for alterations if I can help it!  This dress is just not going to work.
  • edited December 2011
    I would definitely not have them choose based on the picture.  It's nice that they all agreed, but I would have them to a store (preferably independently so you don't get anyone telling you a "like" just because everyone else digs it) and have them tell you a few that they liked just by shopping on their own.  I think you'll get the most honest feedback that way. 
  • tseaytseay member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    No problem edie! Thanks for taking the time to respond anyhow =)
  • sconstantsconstant member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am having the same issue and really don't want all different dresses. 

    Do you girls think that this would be appropriate and comfortable for various sizes?  Say 4, 12, 20.  And would provide good bust coverage?

    http://www.dessy.com/dresses/bridesmaid/2812/
  • SSaltzman87SSaltzman87 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_plus-sized-bridesmaid-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:a0f0f7e3-a182-43cd-94ab-c8e85a589f52Post:12ccffd0-5397-47a1-9ac6-9f1af5296956">Re: Plus Sized Bridesmaid Dress</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am having the same issue and really don't want all different dresses.  Do you girls think that this would be appropriate and comfortable for various sizes?  Say 4, 12, 20.  And would provide good bust coverage? <a href="http://www.dessy.com/dresses/bridesmaid/2812/" rel="nofollow">http://www.dessy.com/dresses/bridesmaid/2812/</a>
    Posted by sconstant[/QUOTE]

    Unless your BMs are smaller than a C Cup, I wouldn't go with that choice. One shoulder dresses are the antichrist for anyone with big boobs.
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  • tseaytseay member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Hi girls! So we totally nixed the original dress and went with something with more coverage, much more flatter for someone with a fuller/curvier figure, and something that you can wear a bra with (yea!!!!!). Now for a new problem though, I can't decide between the purple or the champagne. My colors are plum and champagne. My dress is ivory. The bridesmaid's bouquets would standout more with the champagne dresses, but a few people have told me they think they'll blend, or worse, clash with the wedding dress. I haven't take my dress in and put it side by side with the champagne dress (or any one for that matter) and I'd rather not do that if I can help it. Tell me what you think about the new dress and which color I should go with. I put a pic of my dress and the bouquets I was thinking about too.






  • jess9802jess9802 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Glad you went with another dress--the first dresses are unlikely to look good on most plus size brides. But...

    While I like the plum of your two color choices, I think this second dress might also be difficult for plus size bridesmaids to pull off. Just because a dress looks good on a thin model and comes in a plus size does not mean it will actually look on a plus size woman.
  • tseaytseay member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    @jess I must say I disagree, but I guess that's obvious. I think most people know that "just because a dress looks good on a thin model......" I mean really, unless you're a thin model then we've all had to adjust and try on clothes that don't necessarily look like the "picture". Anywho, the dress is narrow right under the bust which as saison suggests shows off the most narrow part of their body  AND it has a slight a-line.

    BTW everyone, we all picked plum!
  • jess9802jess9802 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Well, the proof will be in the pudding I guess - when you actually get the dress on your bridesmaids. But I'm a plus size woman myself, and that dress would not flatter me. Massive ruffles on the chest emphasize a bustline, and if you're rocking D cups or higher, it's not an area of the body that necessarily needs to be emphasized.
  • tseaytseay member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I think they will look fabulous jess, but thanks for your concern =)

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