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Pre-wedding Parties
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Appropriate?

BrenAndJoBrenAndJo member
100 Comments
in Pre-wedding Parties
HI All.  I am having a more non-traditional wedding and so I really don't want to do the traditional bridal shower (country club or banquet hall etc.)  I would like to do something a little more fun and unique.  Since we are having my bachlorette outing to follow the shower, I thought it would be fun to do an evening shower with desserts and cocktails-maybe even a wine tasting?  There has been some question over if this would be appropriate for a shower or if we need to provide food other than dessert.  One of my BMs' asked a friend and the friend essentially said they expect to be fed a meal in exchange for their gift.  I never really thought about it this way...I don't really like the way it makes it feel like a business deal but I guess I also don't want to piss off my guests or come off as cheap because that's all I am providing (even tho an open bar and desserts costs the same as the luncheons I have been looking at). 

I have honestly never been to a shower before so I have NO idea.  Your thoughts???

And PS: yes I am the bride and helping to plan my shower because my BM is out of town and the other bailed/is totally M.I.A. 
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Re: Appropriate?

  • hlq2011hlq2011
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_appropriate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:4bcb6dc7-0106-497f-920c-34a45780b4d2Post:b3c12f5e-de16-4253-bfb8-cb9a8c17dfab">Appropriate?</a>:
    [QUOTE]One of my BMs' asked a friend and the friend essentially said they expect to be fed a meal in exchange for their gift.  I never really thought about it this way...I don't really like the way it makes it feel like a business deal but I guess I also don't want to piss off my guests or come off as cheap because that's all I am providing (even tho an open bar and desserts costs the same as the luncheons I have been looking at). 
    Posted by BrenAndJo[/QUOTE]

    I think that's ridiculous.

    If the event takes place over a meal time, a meal or heavy appetizers should be served.  But if it's later at night, then desserts should be fine.

    That said, I'd think a shower so late at night that it didn't conflict with mealtime was a little weird.
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  • Heather8505Heather8505 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't think a meal should be expected at a shower in exchange for the gift.  Only people coming to the wedding are invited to the shower and they are fed the meal there....That being said, it would be nice it you had some light apps but not required.

    I do think it is a cute idea though
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    A shower can be as simple as cake and punch. Late afternoon or early evening would work for cocktails and finger foods. If you are not serving a meal, don't have the shower during lunch or dinner time.
                       
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  • BrenAndJoBrenAndJo member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    The shower is at 730/8 so the timing should be fine.  :) 
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  • heinz11mswheinz11msw
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think snacks/cake/veggies/fruits etc. are all okay instead of a meal.
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  • MelissaAnne88MelissaAnne88 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I love your idea! I've never expected a full meal at a bridal shower - snacks and finger foods at most.
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  • cindy9178cindy9178 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I've never been to  a shower that didn't include a full meal, either lunch or brunch..but I always thought it might be fun to attend a later shower.. with wine and cheese or just appetizers, so I think this is a great idea.
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  • ADTonkADTonk
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't think it's inappropriate, especially if it is later on.

    Maybe you could address this in the invitation so your guests don't come hungry?
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