July 2013 Weddings

Have you asked BP yet?

How many Brides have asked BP and did you just ask or do something sentimental? I thought about either finding or writing a personalized poem to each of my girls, I know most people on this site just say skip all of the cutesy stuff and just ask but I wanted everyone's opinion anyway.

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Re: Have you asked BP yet?

  • Against the advice of most people on these boards I asked my bridesmaids back in November. I couldn't help it- I was so excited. I don't regret it at all but I can def see where it could get sticky some times. I just called them and asked them but I think doing something cute for them is a great idea. It doesn't have to be anything big but I think it could make asking really special. Smile

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  • I haven't asked them yet, but they all pretty much know its coming.  I'll probably just call them, although there are a ton of cutesy ideas out there.  All of mine are long-distance though, so unless its something I could easily mail it will end up with a phone call.
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  • i IMd a friend to ask about being MOH and she said yes.  i will however send something a lil later :)   my daughter knows she will be bridesmaid :) and she will get a gift
  • I asked all my MHO/BMs a year ago. I sent them invites in May.I made the paper dolls invite that is commonly found online. FI selected/confirmed his GM 3 weeks ago. 
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  • I asked in March/April, there's no way I could wait until the 1 year recommendation, and they all knew I would ask anyway. FH asked his guys a couple of weeks ago. . . we both did "cutesy" type stuff. 

    I sent the girls "Will you be my bridesmaid?" cards, with personal little notes about why I wanted them to stand with me. They loved them and since most of them live far away from me and I couldn't ask them in person, I thought it was better than just a phone call or e-mail.

    FH sent his guys are also all  out of state, so he sent them pints of their favorite liquor with cards I made to look like wanted ads. Those were also very well received.


  • I only have 2 girls standing for me and since we're so close they pretty much knew from the beginning.
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  • Asking your BP so far in advance is totally frowned upon on TK, so I am really glad to hear from a group of July 2013 brides who have already asked too! FI and I were so excited that we asked them all back in November when we first got engaged. We did not do anything special - we just asked. IMO, if you can find a way of asking that is cute/special but not over-the-top, I think it is a great idea (i.e. a handwritten note like Walkers did). One of my best friends asked me to be a BM by sending me a postcard with a pic of me and her and a handwritten message simply stating that she would love for me to be a BM, and I really appreciated it. 

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  • I've asked three - 2 of them consist of my sister and his. The 3rd is my childhood/high school best friend.

    I may ask a 4th, but I'm waiting on her. She's one of my best friends from college, but she's moving in a week. I'm afraid that since we'll both be moving on we may grow apart - so I'm waiting closer to November to see.
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  • I'm with Clever... two of my BMs are FI's sisters, so they were a given (and knew they'd be asked as soon as we announced our engagement!) My MOH is my best friend from college who lives a short plane ride away from me (visiting her this weekend, and trying to think of some cutesy something to do, but I'll probably just buy her a bottle of her favorite whisky and tell her it's official now ;) Drunkenly asked one of my best friends (a coworker, and someone who I've known for about 2 years now) which was pretty much a terrible way to do it, but I am definitely glad to have her in my BP... I have to think of a cute way to re-ask her, too, since I feel like the drunken "ohmygaaad!!! will you be my bridesmaid!?" was a little silly. Still trying to decide if I should ask my "sister," a woman 15 years older than me who was our roomate when I was a kid, to be my matron of honor...I'm just not terribly close to her anymore, but she still is an important part of my life. anyway, wow, RANT! sorry. anyway, yeesh. I personally would love a cutesy "my turn to pop the question" type thing, so I think I will end up at least sending everyone a card or picture or something, since like most of us ladies, my BP is all over the country.

    /rant!
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  • emmyrooemmyroo member
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    edited September 2012
    I asked my bridesmaids back in January. My sister is my maid of honor and I didn't have to ask her we both just knew. My best friend I wasn't planning on asking her when I did. I was visiting her and we were out to dinner. My FSIL I asked one night while we were both helping to make supper. For both it was just the right moment. FI has asked 2 so far. His best man he also didn't have to ask, but another friend I think he asked earlier this spring. He's waiting on the third because he wants to see where the friendship is going to go. But yeah, neither of us did anything fancy or cutsy. I feel that if you just speak from the heart when you ask, that will make it special enough! The honor is in being asked, not how you ask! : good luck, though! Even though I didn't do anything fancy, I still had a ton of fun asking my girls!
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  • edited September 2012
    I have. But I don't think there's anything wrong with waiting on it like its recommended here. I do think a lot of people get caught up in the whole OMG I'M ENGAGED and ask immediately or they ask for the wrong reasons like even sides or who the best helper would be. If you read the wedding party board or if you've ever seen an episode of Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids (I love that show!) you probably have already seen many examples.

    In my case I did think on who I wanted up there with me and it hadn't changed after a few months. I also don't live near any of them so when I got a chance to see them in person and ask I did. I asked one in July and the other two in August. I did have to ask one on skype since initially I was going to wait till I saw her in October, but my mom knew and told her mom so I figured I should ask before she heard from someone else. News tends to get around in my family.

    I just asked them. If you really want to do a cutesy poem then you're free to. It's not my thing. I also loved seeing the look on their face when I asked and I don't think you really get that when you mail something. I would at least personalize it if you do go with a poem instead of finding one online.
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  • Thanks everyone!!!!!
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  • I've asked 3 out of the 4.  We just talked over a drink..


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  • I had bought both of my girls beads for their Pandora bracelets (we all have one). However my cousion is only 16 so I decided to discuss it with her aunt first and just my luck her mom asked her to grab the phone for her. She read it obviously and was so excited. So I told my sister who had assumed anyways and gave them their beads the next time I saw them.

    I think gifts are a sweet idea
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  • I've already asked mine...actually, I feel like my friends sort of just assumed once I told them I was engaged! I waited a long time to decide on who would be my MOH out of my bridesmaids because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. About two months ago I finally made up my mind, and for my MOH, I made her a card and I made her a shirt that said "maid of honor" on it because I felt like being crafty :) I've seen so many cute ways to ask your girls and I wish I had seen them earlier so I could have done them! So if you're into that sort of thing, you should definitely do it.

    One thing about asking so early...it can be awkward. I more or less told my college best friend that she would be a bridesmaid. This was about two years ago (yes, I have been engaged FOREVER!). Since I moved back home my senior year, we really haven't been as close and I'm the only one who makes any effort in our friendship. I've since decided that I don't want her in my wedding, but I haven't actually told her that yet...I'm hoping that maybe she just won't bring it up. I think I can almost count on that since we haven't spoken in months. But should she say anything, I'm prepared to explain my reasoning. So awkward, but it's my wedding day and it's really important to me that I only have people who really care about me there. And if the girl can't even text me a "how's life?" text once in awhile, then she shouldn't be standing next to me. Just wanted to let you know of my situation so you can be cautious.
  • I have asked ALL 9 of them, lol. My sister is my MOH. he has 4 kids and I have 2 (3 boys 3 girls) so that adds 3 to each side. I have 2 very close friends from when I went back to school a few years back. I also have 2 very close friends from before I went back to school, one I have know since my son was a few montsh old he is almost 17) and one is my exes aunt that was my best friend when I lived up there. The other is FI's sister. That makes 9. I did ask them over a few months. The last and most recent was last month.

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