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Seperate ceremony and reception.... do i include registry info??

twodovesinlovetwodovesinlove
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in Registry and Gift Forum
Needs some opinions.... We're having a seperate ceremony and reception.  The ceremony will be at 2 while the reception will be at 4.  We'll only be inviting family to the ceremony which will account to 20 ppl. For the reception we'll be inviting everyone from our extended familys and from our work and all our friends. My question is should I be including our registry informaiton with the invitations?  My soon to be mil has said its rude to not invite them to the ceremony but want gifts.  We're keeping the ceremony small b/c we want it to be more intamite and personal.  It's not that these ppl don't matter to us it's just that we're private ppl.  Any opinions would be great!
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Re: Seperate ceremony and reception.... do i include registry info??

  • B2Z728B2Z728 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    You should never include registry information with wedding invitations. You can put that information on your wedding website, if you have one, or that information is spread by word of mouth. If someone is throwing you a bridal shower, registry information can on that invitation since the purpose of the bridal shower is to "shower the bride with gifts." Weddings are not automatically a gift giving event. 
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  • freebread03freebread03 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its First Answer
    It is considered rude to include registry info in wedding invitations-the only time registry info should be included is for a shower. You should never expect gifts from anyone-they are certainly not obligatory.
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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_seperate-ceremony-and-reception-do-i-include-registry-info?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5f54c386-2dcc-49de-adf6-1580ab09dcd3Post:1a386c0c-2b40-4e67-a363-dab1f5fd3471">Seperate ceremony and reception.... do i include registry info??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Needs some opinions.... We're having a seperate ceremony and reception.  The ceremony will be at 2 while the reception will be at 4.  We'll only be inviting family to the ceremony which will account to 20 ppl. For the reception we'll be inviting everyone from our extended familys and from our work and all our friends. My question is should I be including our registry informaiton with the invitations?  <strong>My soon to be mil has said its rude to not invite them to the ceremony but want gifts.</strong>  We're keeping the ceremony small b/c we want it to be more intamite and personal.  It's not that these ppl don't matter to us it's just that we're private ppl.  Any opinions would be great!
    Posted by twodovesinlove[/QUOTE]

    <div>In this case, it's okay because you have so few coming to the ceremony. If it were more than 20, it would no longer be private. However, you never ever EVER put registry information in a wedding invitation. Shower, yes. Wedding, no. A shower is by definition a gift-giving event, while you should not expect gifts at a wedding even though most people will likely want to give them. If they want to know where you're registered, they will find out on their own or ask.</div>
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  • Salsera29Salsera29 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited February 2013
    We split the difference and registered for really nice everyday stoneware.

    ETA: Don't know if this was a me mistake or a tk glitch, but this was a response to a different thread. Sorry! lol
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  • daveANDkristendaveANDkristen member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to Re:Seperate ceremony and reception.... do i include registry info??:[QUOTE]We split the difference and registered for really nice everyday stoneware. Posted by Salsera29[/QUOTE]

    Confused how this relates to OP...

    Anyway, having a private ceremony is not rude, but your FMIL is right that some people will probably have their feelings hurt. That's just an unfortunate consequence of the decision you and your FI made.

    That said, no matter how many people are invited to the wedding it isn't appropriate to put registry info on the invitation. It looks very gift grabby. Google your name FI's name registry and you will probably find any and all of your registries among the results. Anyone who wants to buy you something from your registry will either turn to Google or ask someone close to you.
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  • twodovesinlovetwodovesinlove
    First Comment
    Thank you all for the info!! The guy who helped us register made it seem like we send register info with invitations prob b/c he wants ppl to buy stuff from there store... So I will only put registration info with shower invites and I have put registry info on our website. Another question if we're not I citing someone to the wedding I shouldn't invite them to the shower correct? I'm not close with my dads side of the family my dads not even invited but i talk with two aunts and a cousin. Now I wouldn't invite them to the wedding since the rest of the family isn't invited but I would invite them to the shower so they were sort of part of it. Should I even bother? Does it seem like I just invited them for gifts? I really don't want anyone from that side of my family at the wedding even though I went to my cousins shower and wedding...
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  • Aliadee1984Aliadee1984 member
    10 Comments
    You can't invite anyone to the shower who is not invited to your wedding. It's considered rude. You can send the announcements after you're married and if they care to, they can send a gift on their own. But do not expect or plan on it as there is no obligation.
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  • Salsera29Salsera29 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_seperate-ceremony-and-reception-do-i-include-registry-info?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5f54c386-2dcc-49de-adf6-1580ab09dcd3Post:0f4325f1-5998-48b0-91c8-48d0f02c02e6">Re:Seperate ceremony and reception.... do i include registry info??</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Seperate ceremony and reception.... do i include registry info??: <strong>Confused how this relates to OP.</strong>.. Anyway, having a private ceremony is not rude, but your FMIL is right that some people will probably have their feelings hurt. That's just an unfortunate consequence of the decision you and your FI made. That said, no matter how many people are invited to the wedding it isn't appropriate to put registry info on the invitation. It looks very gift grabby. Google your name FI's name registry and you will probably find any and all of your registries among the results. Anyone who wants to buy you something from your registry will either turn to Google or ask someone close to you.
    Posted by daveANDkristen[/QUOTE]

    <div>It doesn't. Somehow I posted on the wrong thread. </div>
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