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Just a rant of frustration

smclardysmclardy
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in New York
Our final guest count was due over a week ago and last night I hear through a long line of people that 4 of my FI family members (who RSVPed a month ago with im coming) decided they cant make it now. They didnt even let us know themselves.  

Besides being super pissed about having to pay for them even though they wont be there, II feel sooo bad for my FI.  He has been really disappointed in his family during the wedding planning.  They are always complaining about something and now for the remainder of his extended family not to be coming he is down.  And I dont know how to fix it.   : ( 
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Re: Just a rant of frustration

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    kevinandmonica2011kevinandmonica2011 member
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    edited December 2011
    So sorry you are dealing with this.  So sorry for your fi too.  The only thing I can tell you is that once the day starts... it won't even phase him that they aren't there.  Until then... it will be a bit of a bummer (and I totally get the pissed off about the $$ thing... it is so inconsiderate!) 

    But seriously.... your day will be filled with so much fun and so many amazing memories... those people will be the farthest thing from your mind.  Maybe, at the absolute most, he may have a fleeting thought at the wedding about how he wishes so-and-so was there.... but chances are that won't even happen.

    Just enjoy the day, celebrate with those who were able to attend.  The day goes by sooooo fast that it's really not worth wasting a second thinking about the people who chose not to come.  Their loss.
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    ChelseaB425ChelseaB425
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    edited December 2011
    Ugh, how frustrating and RUDE! But ditto what Monica said.
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    smclardysmclardy
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks guys.  Im going to pass the advice on to the FI.
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    DondadaTimes2DondadaTimes2
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    edited December 2011

    Personal experience: My dad & his family all fell apart and fight with ea other over BS after my gpa died. Over half his family didnt come. Some gave bogus reasons while others just said no. All resulting in "This is your day but I cant keep my drama filled mouth shut long enough to leave it be your day so Im not coming". It hurts and for your FI it will hurt. Theres really nothing you can say or do right now. After the wedding while youre looking back on pictures, it'll bother him. but again, it his family and b/c you dont know how it feels from experience, all you can do is be there but nothing will take that sting of pain away.

    But as Monica said, he'll forget all about it at the wedding. He's going to be so overwhelmed with everyone else that is there for him that it wont even phase him. Im sorry he (and you) are dealing with this. It sucks when family doesnt see the importance in a day like this. In the end if they dont see it as important enough to attend, they arent worth the frustration. Hopefully he'll see that eventually.


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    sbolger17sbolger17 member
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    edited December 2011
    That's so inconsiderate of them!!  I think some people don't even realize what goes into a wedding, how meaningful it is in your life, and how much brides and grooms appreciate everyone who made the effort to come.  Hopefully your FI isn't too, too disappointed. 
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    ski2playski2play member
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    edited December 2011
    This just stinks, good thoughts for you and your FI. 
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    smclardysmclardy
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    edited December 2011
    Update: The venue took off the four people. So at least we arent paying for them. : )
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