Ivory wedding dress symbolizing impurity?

AnnaLW · July 2012

I live in the south, so tradition is a little thicker here than other parts of the country. I bought an ivory wedding dress for the simple fact that I thought most brides wear ivory since true white washes most people out. I am a virgin and getting married August 25, but I didn't realize this was a big deal since so many girls wear whatever, including wearing true white even if they are not a virgin. I just figured that tradition was such a big deal anymore. While I don't feel the need to flaunt that I am everywhere and act like I'm so awesome because of it, I don't want people second guessing my virginity because of my dress. I didn't think anything of it until my sister-in-law said, "I was wondering why you bought an ivory." I already bought it and don't think I have time to get a white. Plus, I love the dress. It's perfect for me. I'm just stressed and frustrated because I didn't realize this was such a big deal until after I bought it. Should I be terribly concerned?

peachykeen26 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_ivory-wedding-dress-symbolizing-impurity?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:02b3c6ed-dac1-4f57-819e-518437e44382Post:bde4a506-03c7-4df2-8850-1a6767c713da">Ivory wedding dress symbolizing impurity?</a>:
[QUOTE]I live in the south, so tradition is a little thicker here than other parts of the country. I bought an ivory wedding dress for the simple fact that I thought most brides wear ivory since true white washes most people out. I am a virgin and getting married August 25, but I didn't realize this was a big deal since so many girls wear whatever, including wearing true white even if they are not a virgin. I just figured that tradition was such a big deal anymore. While I don't feel the need to flaunt that I am everywhere and act like I'm so awesome because of it, I don't want people second guessing my virginity because of my dress. I didn't think anything of it until my sister-in-law said, "I was wondering why you bought an ivory." I already bought it and don't think I have time to get a white. Plus, I love the dress. It's perfect for me. I'm just stressed and frustrated because I didn't realize this was such a big deal until after I bought it. Should I be terribly concerned?
Posted by AnnaLW[/QUOTE]

Ivory is white. It's a shade of white. No one is going to look at you in your dress and think oh, she must have lost her virginity. I am southern, too and had an ivory dress. No one said anything to me about virginity. You are overthinking it.
My dress is in my siggy. It's ivory. Just saying.
HTH!

fpaemp2011 · July 2012

"Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

If someone is clutching their pearls over the color of your dress, they can just get over it.

If you love the dress, don't worry about the color. I'm from the south, as well, and totally understand tradition and symbolism and not giving your grandmother a heart attack. I was a virgin on my wedding day and my dress was white, but my SIL was 4 months pregnant at her wedding to my brother, and her dress was white, too.

GJones27 · July 2012

Ditto. People can't tell the difference and that won't send any message. Most of us on this board waited until marriage and most of us wore ivory. Many of us come from the South or conservative religions. You will be fine.

2012FutureMrsB · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_ivory-wedding-dress-symbolizing-impurity?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:02b3c6ed-dac1-4f57-819e-518437e44382Post:12eb8a83-392e-457d-8697-c01c34fcb86b">Re: Ivory wedding dress symbolizing impurity?</a>:
[QUOTE]The origin of brides wearing white had nothing to do with virginity, but wealth. Queen Victoria wore white to her wedding, and white was considered an impractical color because it got dirty so quickly, so it became synonomous with wealth. That being said, if people are questioning your virginity based on the color of your dress, then that's on them. It's none of their business anyway.
Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Exactly. People are so misinformed these days, they don't even know their own traditions. Wear the ivory dress, I'm sure you'll look beautiful and feel much more yourself. If people get the wrong idea, they can get over it. Making ASSumptions just makes people look like _____. And actually, wearing a veil over your face is the traditional sign of virginity. But even then, one of my best friends, who is a conservative Christian and was def a virgin on her wedding day, did NOT wear a veil b/c she didn't want to.</div><div>
</div><div>These days, a woman should be able to set her own traditions and not get side-eyed for it.</div>

AnnaLW · July 2012

Thanks everyone. I'm pretty sure I'll stick with the ivory. I need to stop caring what people think anyway. I appreciate all of the comments and views. It is probably a bigger deal to a few traditional southerners than it is to anyone else. Most of my friends and family know me well and wouldn't judge me anyway. Thanks for the encouragement!

SuMmErKuTiE · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_ivory-wedding-dress-symbolizing-impurity?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:02b3c6ed-dac1-4f57-819e-518437e44382Post:12eb8a83-392e-457d-8697-c01c34fcb86b">Re: Ivory wedding dress symbolizing impurity?</a>:
[QUOTE]The origin of brides wearing white had nothing to do with virginity, but wealth. Queen Victoria wore white to her wedding, and white was considered an impractical color because it got dirty so quickly, so it became synonomous with wealth. That being said, if people are questioning your virginity based on the color of your dress, then that's on them. It's none of their business anyway.
Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]

Ditto this.. I always thought we wore white wedding dresses because of Queen Victoria not because of purity. I highly doubt anyone will question a bride's virginity no matter what color they wear.

Plus, ivory is so close to white that you can't even tell unless it's held up against something else that is stark white.

agape1cor813 · July 2012

I also think it's worth noting that in addition to the white wedding dress being a relatively new "tradition," we are increasingly see bridal designers push the envelope as far as color is concerned. Even David's Bridal has pink- and peach-toned wedding dresses now, and some designers have grey and black wedding dresses. Before Queen Victoria, I believe that brides simply wore their Sunday best to their weddings.

FaithCaitlin · July 2012

People that buy into the shade of white debate have too much time on their hands.

I'm wearing an ivory dress because it's looks best with my skin tone. I'm not a virgin. IF I wanted to wear white, I would've.

Wear the color you like best and the color that looks best on you. No one else matters!

ElisabethJoanne · July 2012

Your virginity is no one's concern but yours, let alone how it relates to the color of your dress.

Want to know a real symbol of bridal virginity? Wearing your hair down. It's in the book "The Six Wives of Henry VIII," which is a serious, if not textbook-like, history book. You should be able to get it from a large public library. Bust that out if you get any flak.

In Judaism, the white dress actually is for plainness. The rabbis made rules encouraging plain wedding clothes because people were having weddings that were too ostentatious and people were reluctant to marry because they couldn't put on the same show.

RebeccaJac · July 2012

I think most people won't think twice unless you showed up in an outrageous orange or something. It's none of my business what a bride has/hasn't done and I sure wouldn't be inspecting the color of her dress to try to find out!

Wear what you want and forget everyone else!

sessionswedding · July 2012

Everyone gets this tradition wrong anyway.

White dress means it's your FIRST WEDDING.

Veil over your face means you're a VIRGIN.

I wore a white dress because I got it on sale, or I may have done white with colored accents or ivory. I wasn't going to wear a veil at all, but I finally decided to. It certainly wasn't over my face, haha.

I'm in Alabama. Plenty of my friends wear ivory at their weddings.

joe&cassie · July 2012

Ditto what everyone else has said. Do what you want and since you already bought the dress and you love it who cares what people think.

azdancer8 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_ivory-wedding-dress-symbolizing-impurity?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:02b3c6ed-dac1-4f57-819e-518437e44382Post:5472bb85-c7f4-4b73-bb33-97da3bd4bf41">Re: Ivory wedding dress symbolizing impurity?</a>:
[QUOTE]Everyone gets this tradition wrong anyway. White dress means it's your FIRST WEDDING. Veil over your face means you're a VIRGIN. I wore a white dress because I got it on sale, or I may have done white with colored accents or ivory. I wasn't going to wear a veil at all, but I finally decided to. It certainly wasn't over my face, haha. I'm in Alabama. Plenty of my friends wear ivory at their weddings.
Posted by sessionswedding[/QUOTE]

Heh. I guess I did it wrong. I wore ivory at my wedding, and skipped the veil because I hate having things over my face or on my head. ;)

DeannaCW · July 2012

Nobody's going to notice.

That said, the traditional color symbolizing purity is blue, not white. It's why Mary Mother of Jesus is always portrayed wearing blue in medieval paintings.

MedStudent13 · July 2012

I'll reitorate what a couple of meople have mentioned: Ivory is white. The dress I ordered came in two colors, ivory and 'white,' which let me tell you, if they made a neon white that would be it. It looked soooooo harsh, it was almost blinding. The ivory looked like a normal shade of white

AnnaLW · July 2012

I love hearing all of your points of view! They definitely made me feel so much better. I do intend to wear a veil, I'm just not sure if I will wear if over my face, but I will have my hair down, so there! Haha. I do like knowing all of this so I can answer questions of any stressed out brides who have the same problem I ran into. I am definitely keeping my ivory, so thank you all for your words of wisdom and support! I'm just glad I have something to say now to anyone who pulls a "Why didn't you wear white?"

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