Too much time btwn. ceremony and reception?

Leah&Adam2012 · April 2012

Hi all, my ceremony will be at my church from 3-4pm, and I was thinking of starting the cocktail hour at the hotel at 5:30pm. This would hopefully give us enough time to get photos done between 4-5:30PM (there won't be any bride and groom shots before the ceremony bc. my husband-to-be wants to see me for the first time as I'm coming down the aisle).

My question is this: If it only takes 20-30 minutes to get from the church to the reception at the hotel, is 4-5:30 too big of a gap for our guests? For local guests who live near the church, they would probably have time to go home for a little bit if they wanted, and out of town guests could always go back to their room at the hotel before cocktails started. The problem I foresee is local guests who don't live close enough to go home and then to the reception.

Does anyone know of any weddings where coffee and tea were served at the church right after the ceremony as a time for people to mingle and to kill some time until the cocktail hour? Do you think people would get restless?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

LeiselEB · April 2012

If guests have somewhere to go, and some food and drink, then you're fine. Just move your cocktail hour up to 4:30. You don't need to be there for the entire cocktail hour, so it's fine to continue your pictures later than 4:30.

jesslynn1012 · April 2012

It's only been on all these wedding shows on tv that I've ever seen a wedding ceremony go right up until cocktail hour and then the reception. It might be because I'm Catholic and have been to a bunch of church weddings, but it's the norm to have a long time between the wedding and reception in my experience. It's never bothered me, but it might be nice if you had some refreshments after for those who can't go home or to the hotel in between.

littleluckypenny · April 2012

If the ceremony ends at 4 and driving time is 20 minutes, have cocktail hour start at 4:30. Use the cocktail hour to take pictures since you don't have to be there until 5:30.

Take as much pictures before the ceremony, and just use the cocktail hour time for pictures of you and FI (and you, FI and bridal party) together.

I suggest making a complete list of pictures you want, and from that list select those photos that can only happen after the ceremony so you can have better time management.

MyNameIsNot · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_too-much-time-btwn-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:13b1f9f3-93aa-4adc-af35-26cb6348e0ddPost:820bf506-157d-4adc-85c3-068c6cf8d31a">Re: Too much time btwn. ceremony and reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]It's only been on all these wedding shows on tv that I've ever seen a wedding ceremony go right up until cocktail hour and then the reception. <strong>It might be because I'm Catholic and have been to a bunch of church weddings, but it's the norm to have a long time between the wedding and reception in my experience. </strong>It's never bothered me, but it might be nice if you had some refreshments after for those who can't go home or to the hotel in between.
Posted by jesslynn1012[/QUOTE]

<div>I too am catholic and have been to a ton of church weddings. I've never heard of leaving a gap between the ceremony and the reception. Honestly, it struck me as the rudest thing when I first heard of it. </div><div>
</div><div>You need to close the gap. If you want to do your photos after fine. That means you miss cocktail hour.</div>

ChristineNB · April 2012

I think that is way to much time between the ceremony and the cocktail hour. Especially if some of your guests are from out of town and won't know what to do to kill time between the ceremony and cocktail hour. Start the cocktail hour earlier, and you don't need to be there for the whole thing.

jemmini6 · April 2012

The whole point of a cocktail hour is to provide snacks and beverages for your guests while you are taking pictures! Generally, the bride and groom do not attend this portion of the evening. Start your cocktail hour at 4:30 (while you are taking pictures), and your reception at 5:30 (when you are finished with pictures). Anything other than that is extremely rude.

TiffannieF · April 2012

I think it's too much time.

We took as many pictures before the wedding as possible (minus B & G pics). We took about 45 minutes for pics afterwards. I suggest the same. Cocktail hour's are usually there to help entertain guests while you are taking your pics, we (nor did anybody in the WP) get any of the cocktail stuff since it ended as soon as we arrived to the reception.

SparrowSong · April 2012

The reason people started doing a "cocktail hour" was to give guests something to do while the bride and groom are off doing pictures. It's not meant to be something you attend. Move the times up and plan to skip cocktails yourself, and don't give your guests an awkward dead hour of standing around with nothing to do.

roxyb1987 · April 2012

Well my fiance's church is only allowing a 2:30 ceremony and the reception site is only allowing a 6:00 pm cocktail hour. So we are setting up a little cocktail set up at the hotel where we are blocking rooms in. We are also providing a shuttle bus from the hotel to the reception site and back. We will be taking all photos in between since we have so much time and will be attending our entire cocktail hour. I am paying for all this great food and drink and might as well enjoy it !! I would not be worried at all about the time slot. It takes time after the wedding to even get to your car since your talking to everyone outside the church. Relax and enjoy your day! If someone really wants to complain then they shouldn't of been invited in the first place. It is time for celebration!!!!

jesslynn1012 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_too-much-time-btwn-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:13b1f9f3-93aa-4adc-af35-26cb6348e0ddPost:222ea13a-de61-49dc-a612-7fcff2591ae2">Re: Too much time btwn. ceremony and reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Well my fiance's church is only allowing a 2:30 ceremony and the reception site is only allowing a 6:00 pm cocktail hour.</strong> So we are setting up a little cocktail set up at the hotel where we are blocking rooms in. We are also providing a shuttle bus from the hotel to the reception site and back. We will be taking all photos in between since we have so much time and will be attending our entire cocktail hour.<strong> I am paying for all this great food and drink and might as well enjoy it !!</strong> I would not be worried at all about the time slot. It takes time after the wedding to even get to your car since your talking to everyone outside the church. Relax and enjoy your day! If someone really wants to complain then they shouldn't of been invited in the first place. It is time for celebration!!!!
Posted by roxyb1987[/QUOTE]

The latest ceremony my church allows on a Saturday is 2:30, and I don't want a daytime reception... so I haven't planned it yet, but I will probably have a large gap. Those who know me and would be invited wouldn't think it was rude. I think the OP knows her guests best. I also agree that if you are paying for cocktail hour's food and drinks, why not enjoy it with them?

DreamCLG7 · April 2012

the the gap of doom is a regional thing and has been pretty much debated to death. right up there with the fish centerpieces debates.

i am catholic and have been to plenty of weddings with a gap. ceremony usually at noon, reception at 5 or 6.. churches won't hold the ceremony later, as it interfers with evening mass.

MyNameIsNot · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_too-much-time-btwn-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:13b1f9f3-93aa-4adc-af35-26cb6348e0ddPost:222ea13a-de61-49dc-a612-7fcff2591ae2">Re: Too much time btwn. ceremony and reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Well my fiance's church is only allowing a 2:30 ceremony and the reception site is only allowing a 6:00 pm cocktail hour.</strong> So we are setting up a little cocktail set up at the hotel where we are blocking rooms in. We are also providing a shuttle bus from the hotel to the reception site and back. We will be taking all photos in between since we have so much time and will be attending our entire cocktail hour. I am paying for all this great food and drink and might as well enjoy it !! I would not be worried at all about the time slot. It takes time after the wedding to even get to your car since your talking to everyone outside the church. Relax and enjoy your day! If someone really wants to complain then they shouldn't of been invited in the first place. It is time for celebration!!!!
Posted by roxyb1987[/QUOTE]

<div>Looks like you need to choose a different church or a different reception venue.</div><div>
</div><div>Punishing the guests for your poor planning is not ok. You should treat your guests right because they are your friends and family, not because you don't want them to complain. </div>

Leah&Adam2012 · April 2012

Thanks everyone for all your input. Still need to think about this some but the advice has helped!

alithebride · April 2012

why not just add an extra half our to the cocktail time so that no one has to worry about it?

jemmini6 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_too-much-time-btwn-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:13b1f9f3-93aa-4adc-af35-26cb6348e0ddPost:222ea13a-de61-49dc-a612-7fcff2591ae2">Re: Too much time btwn. ceremony and reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]Well my fiance's church is only allowing a 2:30 ceremony and the reception site is only allowing a 6:00 pm cocktail hour. So we are setting up a little cocktail set up at the hotel where we are blocking rooms in. We are also providing a shuttle bus from the hotel to the reception site and back. We will be taking all photos in between since we have so much time and will be attending our entire cocktail hour. I am paying for all this great food and drink and might as well enjoy it !! I would not be worried at all about the time slot. It takes time after the wedding to even get to your car since your talking to everyone outside the church. Relax and enjoy your day<strong>! If someone really wants to complain then they shouldn't of been invited in the first place.</strong> It is time for celebration!!!!
Posted by roxyb1987[/QUOTE]

Then why invite any guests if you are just planning to be rude to them?

Kimberly0402 · April 2012

Our wedding is at 2pm (with a full Catholic Mass) and the cocktail hour starts at 4pm. We figure an hour between the scheduled end of the Mass and the beginning of the cocktail hour would allow for delays, travel time and whatnot. The reception venue is 20 minutes away as well. My mom and I fought on this issue, because I wanted it give everyone 90 minutes, like you, but in the end we didn't want people waiting around.

DreamCLG7 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_too-much-time-btwn-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:13b1f9f3-93aa-4adc-af35-26cb6348e0ddPost:a6555955-3a20-445b-bf62-eabc1165c46e">Re: Too much time btwn. ceremony and reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Too much time btwn. ceremony and reception? : Looks like you need to choose a different church or a different reception venue. Punishing the guests for your poor planning is not ok. You should treat your guests right because they are your friends and family, not because you don't want them to complain.
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

dude, you're ridiculous.

Too much time btwn. ceremony and reception?

Re: Too much time btwn. ceremony and reception?

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