bridesmaid dresses (colors)

nrwolf00 · April 2010

Ok. So me (bride), my MOH, and one of my BM all went dress shopping and we found this awesome black strappless floor length dress. it has a corset back and flower gems on the front (small and simple) and we loved it bc it wasnt funerally at all. Then i get home to tell my Fl and he tells me he doesnt want black. we also had to move our date to july 2 because we were having troubles getting the flowers we wanted. i would like something more bright and now im thinking have blue and yelllow dresses ( i have 4 in my wp so it works out great) but my BM dont think i should switch dresses which makes it really hard on my part. I have a red-head as a BM and i respect her request of not wearing yellow, so im going to have her wear blue if i can get them to agree i guess.

Any advice on what i should do? its a summer wedding, and im trying to do a daisy theme, plus yellow is my favorite color and blue is my FL favoritte.

I just dont know what to do.

I also have a problem trying to get ahold of moh as she never seems to be around when i need her most, always busy and too busy to get back to me.

Any advice on that either? sorry its long

xoxob · April 2010

I agree. You shouldn't change the dress because FI wants to.

If YOU feel that you no longer want black dresses then you need to talk to your BMs about how you feel.

If YOU want the dresses you could brighten them up by asking everyone to find a bright blue or bright yellow shoe (of their choosing) or putting yellow or blue flowers in their hair. They will also be holding any color bouquet you want.

ETA: I have red hair and I love wearing yellow. Even if she is redder than me, redheads look great in yellow (blue, too)

xoxob · April 2010

PS. You MOH doesn't have to help you plan, maybe she is over your wedding and you should try reaching out to her on a friend level instead of on a wedding level.

nrwolf00 · April 2010

i agree, and i showed him everything so he would feel better about it (like the dress and with what flowers, and things to brighten it up) and now he likes it, but now im thinking about it, i mean i would love brighter colors, but i also now that black looks good on everyone. idk im really torn.i would even stay with the black if i could go tea-length, but my wp doesnt want that either, they want long.

Is it bad that im trying to make everyone happy even thou i have a differnt thought in my head?

thanks

stina93446 · April 2010

My bms wore black bm dresses in the summer too. I think you should tell your FI that this isn't his place to plan.

nrwolf00 · April 2010

well and i do try to talk to her all the time, she is just impossible to get ahold of.

and i thought about doing a brighter shoe and all my bm said they would rather have black to not draw attention to their feet.

so idk.

xoxob · April 2010

Your BMs sound kind of cranky.

Can't you have the same dress shortened to a tea length? I think with brightly colored heeled sandals it'd be so cute. Oh, well...

stina93446 · April 2010

There's nothing wrong with black dresses and black shoes with pop flowers...like yellow gerbers or daisies. Seriously, there are SO many photos of black bm dress shots and they are really classy. I agree on the shoes being black. They can get them from their own closets and they'll already be worn in.

If you want to add more color, you can add a sash. We did that for mine. We added a teal sash that was removable. And they wore black shoes. No one noticed. This is really something that only brides really notice.

nrwolf00 · April 2010

i think that would be cuter than heck too! would it be to mean of me to just say they are getting tealength?

Or if i have tea-length and black, would it be fairer to them if i let them chose there own style of dress, and shoe (either doing yellow or blue or both maybe)

xoxob · April 2010

I said cranky because they seem to unammendable on anything, like she asked to change the color, they said no. She asked for black in tea length, they said no.

You're trying to make everyone happy, but you also have to make yourself happy. If you want to concede on the black, give them black, but if you no longer want long, I don't think you would be awful to demand tea length.

I think you should let them choose ANY shoe, and black is OK, I just have a personal aversion to them (seriously, I think I have 1 pair of black shoes)

emilyinchile · April 2010

I think if you guys discussed black already and everyone likes it (including your FI now), it's easiest to just stick with black. But unless tea-length makes your BMs look awful - and it's possible, since it's kind of an awkward length - I think it's fine to insist on that or knee-length if that's more flattering. It's great that you're being flexible, and you definitely don't want to do a 180 and just start dictating everything, but you also won't be able to make everyone happy, and it's not bad to have certain "musts" like length.

xoxob · April 2010

Truth. Tea-length makes me look like a little person, but I think a mix of tea length or knee length depending on their bodies is nice.

stina93446 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-dresses-colors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:164f8f83-8323-4810-b230-2820915c7680Post:462de735-1bc6-49de-b05d-e78aa0b3dfbb">Re: bridesmaid dresses (colors)</a>:
[QUOTE] Or if i have tea-length and black, would it be fairer to them if i let them chose there own style of dress, and shoe (either doing yellow or blue or both maybe)
Posted by nrwolf00[/QUOTE]

<div>We did this....everyone was super happy and 2 of my girls have already worn them a second time. And my baby sister WANTED to wear hers to her prom...lol</div>

nrwolf00 · April 2010

ok well i would say my bm are bigger than average expecially bc of there bust. but they are not big or whatever.

I like the tea-length, or knee length idea, and the shoe idea now if only i can get them to either agree on something or to pic out a black dress that i like.

i would really love for them to be able to get something that they could wear again if they had wanted to or needed to.

stina93446 · April 2010

Just because they're busty does not mean they can't find a good dress. I was a bm in a wedding where we picked our own dresses out and I'm a 30G. Tea length is nice, especially in the summer.

nrwolf00 · April 2010

outstanding well thank you guys! i feel ALOT better!

nrwolf00 · April 2010

except now my fl says hell no to short black dresses.

wth

what should i tell him?

nrwolf00 · April 2010

he doesnt want it bc of my "bigger" bm , he thinks the legs are going to be gross

stina93446 · April 2010

He needs to get over it. Your girls are the ones that have to wear them, not him. If the girls are comfortable wearing them, tell him to buzz off. Seriously, this is NOT his place. How freakin' rude and immature.

stina93446 · April 2010

Okay, i just noticed that your wedding isn't even until July 2011. Don't even worry about this right now. Colors change, so do bodies, and bm dress styles. Come back to this next year.

nrwolf00 · April 2010

haha agreed. i think it just worries him bc he cant invision things so i have to show him pictures and things.

thank you

stina93446 · April 2010

I don't know how big your girls are, but seriously, what he said is really rude to your friends. I would think you would stick up for them. Unless they have elephantitis, he should be keeping his mouth shut about their legs.

emilyinchile · April 2010

Yes, guys are visual. My DH didn't want the GMs' ties to match the BMs' dresses, but after I showed him a couple pictures he thought it looked pretty cool. So when the time comes (ie. early next year), I'd show your FI pictures of everything you're thinking.

And honestly, that's pretty shallow of him. Does he really think that on your wedding day he or anyone else is going to be distracted by pudgy legs, if that's even the case with that BM? Because if he thinks he will even notice, he needs to remember that this is the day he marries you, and that's all he'll be focused on.

aerinpegadrak · April 2010

How is he with other aspects of wedding planning, or even just life in general? You might want to have a little conversation about "constructive criticism" vs. "shooting down every idea that comes up without giving legitimate reasons or alternatives." If he's always this negative on things, it's going to cause problems in your relationship very quickly.

I think you can just stop talking bridesmaid dresses with him, and further down the line if it comes up again, you can just tell him that you'll decide what the girls wear, and he can decide what the guys wear.

pixiedust84 · April 2010

I hate jumping into conversations late but I just have to say that I'm with Stina! OP we have the same wedding date - I definitely haven't started talking about dresses with BM's! I actually haven't even asked all my BMs just my MOH (sister) and BFF since third grade. So I definitely think you may be getting a little ahead of yourself. They (your BMs) also might be being cranky because since you're already discussing this so much with them they are foreseeing over a year of total wedding talk. So give the dress discussion a little break and come back to it later. FWIW I would vote for letting them pick their own tea length/knee length dresses.

Also it's weird your Fi cares so much about that! Just explain that he gets to handle the GM's outfits and you and the BM's get to pick theirs.

nrwolf00 · April 2010

lol i made my fi sound worse then he is. when i said short dresses, of course he thought SHORT. once i showed him a picture of a couple of tea-length, and knee length dresses he was totally for it. and he is very supportive of me and is there for me more than my moh is and more than my bm are there. we have done everything together. our wedding date was sooner, thats why i have already gotten things done and it just got pushed back thats all.

he just tends to worry until i reassure him by pictures. i know he wants it to be perfect for me and him and i understand his worries. he can be stubborn and hotheaded like any man. a little reassurance and visual guidence makes it fine.

also part of it is my fault bc i want to make sure he is ok with things bc it is important to me. its as much as his day as it is mine

nrwolf00 · April 2010

i agree with you but i wasnt about to agrue about it. its just not worth the agrue, i respect my fi and i respect my girls and i also know that they respect eachother. ya he was out of line to say something like that, but he isnt into fashion, he doesnt know any better and i said shorter dresses - well what do guys think of? he was just looking out for me and other ppl. and on that note as well i do think he should have a say bc i dont want to get something he hates and i dont want him to get something i hate. it all depends on the relationship you have with your guy. just because your engaged or married doesnt mean ur on the same levels as other ppl and their fi or whatever. not a fighting matter though. thank you

nrwolf00 · April 2010

and i had to change it bc i talked to about 10 different florists and none of them could do it, and i really didnt want to have fake flowers and i didnt want to have to order them online.

we stilll agree on our new date and we love it!

bridesmaid dresses (colors)

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