How did you decide?

Re: How did you decide?

• LolaPizzy

  

  May 2010

  My very first thought when I got engaged was to have a destination wedding. I live in Philly, but I'm from western MA, but at the time I didn't have much love for Philly and didn't feel connected to it. However, my hometown is very remote, random and boring so I didn't want to send a whole bunch of people there. Plus, my friends and family are all spread out so I knew they'd have to travel regardless. On top of that, travel is my biggest passion and I thought it was fitting for me.
  
  After talking to my sister about how destination weddings are cheaper for the B&G but more expensive for the guests, how you are forcing people to take a vacation of your liking rather than theirs, a lot of people won't attend, etc (basically, a lot of the common cons), I decided to go with a traditional wedding in Philly. But after talking to my parents about how much they could contribute and how much we could save, I knew that we'd only be able to manage a basic, no frills, off season (read: a cold and ugly month such as March) wedding with no honeymoon, and that was when we decided to go with the DW. Also, I'm the last of 4 daughters to be married, and each of my sisters' weddings were so fun and wonderful in its own way, and I knew ours would be blah and basic in comparison and....me being the baby of the family and the one that loves to be glamorous and unique, I knew I had to blaze my own trail and do something totally different.
  

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• Beth0413

  

  May 2010

  Well I knew long before I got engaged that I wanted a beach wedding, luckily my FI wanted the same thing   We both love the beach & we wanted something small & simple! A big traditional wedding just isn't "us". An additional great thing is we are paying for everything ourselves, so we are spending a lot less than we would at home.
  
  Basically it comes down to following your heart & doing what really makes you (and your FI) happy!  Picture yourself 10 years down the road, looking back on your wedding day would you regret having a beach wedding vs. a traditional wedding?  For me, it was a no brainer! Just remember, you're not going to make everyone happy but it's your day!  Good luck

  
  
  

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• DiamondDani member

  

  May 2010

  We didn't want a big traditional wedding. We've been to so many of them and they are usually pretty boring. I didn't want to pay for a fancy meal and unlimited drinks for people who don't really mean that much to me just to fill a "food minimum."
  
  We wanted a small, FUN wedding people would remember forever. FI always wanted a tropical wedding too, so it worked out.
  
  You will never ever please everyone. No matter where/when you decide to have your wedding, there will be someone mad at you. You really have to have the wedding YOU want. Just make sure the most important people are able to come. That's all that matters.

  

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• chosen175 member

  

  May 2010

  I had a lot of reasons:
  * We're both shy and hate being the center of attention.  And any wedding we'd have at home would EASILY have to include 250+ people.  My personal nightmare.
  
  * We had traveled to our destination a few times and LOVED how laid back and stunningly beautiful it is!
  
  * During one of those trips was when FI first mentioned our future together, and how he intended to marry me, and also that the particular city park we were in at the time would make a great backdrop for a wedding.... and that's exactly where our ceremony will take place.
  
  *I, too, have helped my sister plan her huge wedding at home and she almost had a nervous breakdown the last 2 weeks.  I ended up taking over EVERYTHING at the end, plus working a 50+ hour a week job, and I lived a good hour away from her.  I nearly lost my mind and I promised myself then and there that I would NOT be having a traditional wedding at home.
  
  * Too many "traditional" brides I know complain about how they were stressed out, exhuasted, never got to sit down, didn't get to eat, and don't remember much about their wedding day.  I didn't want that to be me.
  
  * We just don't have the money to throw a huge party at home.  I'm a stay at home mom and it would take us about 6 years to save for a wedding at home.  I don't want to wait that long.
  
  * I'm the type of person who kind of marches to my own drummer.  I don't do things  just because everyone else is doing it. 
  
  The advice I offer brides in your situation is to pretend you're looking at your wedding album on your 25th anniversary.  If there are pics of an at home wedding, are they making you smile?  Are you thinking "Gosh, I'm glad we got married at home so all our family/friends could be there." or are you thinking "Man, that day was such a stressful day and I wish we had just gone to Jamaica like we had talked about."  GL with your decision!
  

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• ReichaF

  

  May 2010

  We decided that we wanted a destination wedding way before we were engaged.  While on vacation in DR last year, we witnessed 3 weddings on the beach.  It was the most beautiful and romantic wedding that I have ever witnessed, I was in tears and I didn't even know the couples! I have been to many weddings and they were all the same.  I can't remember any one wedding in particular, they are all smashed together in my mind...This wedding definitely stands out in my mind and I wasn't even a guest...Just an onlooker from the side.
  
  So, my FI and I came back home saying we wished that we could have a destination wedding.  We didn't think we would be able to do it at first because we thought it would be a lot more expensive than a local wedding in my area (If I got married in the NYC area, I would be spending 40k plus easily).  I did some research and was surprised that a DW would actually cost us significantly less.  So, it was written in stone.  We already begun to spread the word that we wanted to get married in the Carribean...either Barbados, Aruba or Bahamas before the engagement  We decided Aruba after speaking with our TA and other that have been to Aruba and the fact that we have always wanted to visit there.
  
  In order to decide, picture in your head your most memorbale and beautiful wedding day....Where are you? what are you wearng? what do you hear in the background?

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