Our flower girl is too young to participate in the ceremony

schoe342 · August 2012

My fiance and I are getting married in a Catholic church next May. We just found out that there is a strict age limit for anybody participating in the wedding-- 6 years. Our niece will only be 3 at the wedding time and we are heartbroken that she cannot be a flower girl. Our priest told us that they had a flower girl fall and break her arm, so they just aren't going to deal with it anymore. I am not worried about her walking or anything-- my brother had a 2 year old in his wedding and she was adorable, plus both of her parents are in the wedding party and I have no problem with them walking with her if need be. Are there any other suggestions for what we can do with her aside from flower girl? She is adorable and we really want her to be a part of our special day.

Avion22 · August 2012

Guest. Take lots of pictures with her dressed up and looking cute on the dance floor or with other family members.

Kids that young aren't old enough to participate in a wedding ceremony anyway. They don't understand what's going on, are too young to conset to do it, and it really makes them more like props than anything else. And kids shouldn't be props.

AlexaNP · August 2012

If you already asked the girl and she is really excited about it, and would be really disappointed if you told her she couldn't be the flower girl anymore, this is the first solution that popped into my head. Not sure how good this would be. But, she could still get the dress, you could get her a little bouquet, include her in pictures, let her walk into the reception and be announced as the flower girl. You could also let her sit with the WP at church and reception (especially if it includes her mom). So the only thing she would really miss out on is walking down the aisle. I know a lot of little girls would love to walk down the aisle, but maybe she is still little enough that she wouldn't care. Good luck!

If she is little enough that she doesn't really care about "being the flower girl" then just include her in pictures with a pretty dress and that should be fine!

theelusive1 · August 2012

I would say she is not participating she is just a rouge child running amuck with flower petals and will be stopped at the front of the church. She just happened to show up in a matching dress. I am glad we don't have those rules here in the church.

Avion22 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_our-flower-girl-is-too-young-to-participate-in-the-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:016cc158-2a83-4e68-a9ff-ca19cb05026aPost:ac88ad7d-578f-4f64-8f51-5586adf183e4">Re: Our flower girl is too young to participate in the ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]I would say she is not participating she is just a rouge child running amuck with flower petals and will be stopped at the front of the church. She just happened to show up in a matching dress. I am glad we don't have those rules here in the church.
Posted by theelusive1[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Somehow I don't think purposefully disregarding the priest's instructions, then lying about it, is a good idea. If the priest says she's too young and it's not allowed, then she's too young and it's not allowed.

</div>

banana468 · August 2012

Take photos with her before and after the ceremony.

mrmr095 · August 2012

can she walk down holding both her parents hand, and she can hold a little bouquet

funandfreckles · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_our-flower-girl-is-too-young-to-participate-in-the-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:016cc158-2a83-4e68-a9ff-ca19cb05026aPost:2116fffa-9b55-4f3b-b0cf-a9b4b959d081">Re: Our flower girl is too young to participate in the ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]Guest. Take lots of pictures with her dressed up and looking cute on the dance floor or with other family members. Kids that young aren't old enough to participate in a wedding ceremony anyway. They don't understand what's going on, are too young to conset to do it, and it really makes them more like props than anything else. And kids shouldn't be props.
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

Ditto this.

ootmother2 · August 2012

and the word is rogue
ywia

nextrightthing · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_our-flower-girl-is-too-young-to-participate-in-the-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:016cc158-2a83-4e68-a9ff-ca19cb05026aPost:87051aa4-2ea5-4b26-aee0-2825f82240ca">Re: Our flower girl is too young to participate in the ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]Many ministers and priests will not allow very young children to be in the wedding party. The rule is usually because of concern for the children. Your marriage is a Sacrement, and you must respect the priests decision. Invite the girl as a guest. She can sit on the aisle. If your church allows it, she could throw flower petels as you pass, or bubbles. Three year olds don't know what a flower girl really is. They just want to wear a special dress and get attention. You could do something with her at your reception.
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

This. She won't remember or understand what a flower girl is.....give her a flower to hold or a wrist corsage and take extra pictures. She will love it.

Maybone · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_our-flower-girl-is-too-young-to-participate-in-the-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:016cc158-2a83-4e68-a9ff-ca19cb05026aPost:87051aa4-2ea5-4b26-aee0-2825f82240ca">Re: Our flower girl is too young to participate in the ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]Many ministers and priests will not allow very young children to be in the wedding party. The rule is usually because of concern for the children. Your marriage is a Sacrement, and you must respect the priests decision. Invite the girl as a guest. She can sit on the aisle. If your church allows it, she could throw flower petels as you pass, or bubbles. <strong> Three year olds don't know what a flower girl really is. They just want to wear a special dress and get attention. </strong>You could do something with her at your reception.
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

I don't understand this. Isn't wearing a special dress and getting attention what a flower girl is? It's not just this post, or this thread. I've seen it mentioned before that if kids can't explain the role then they shouldn't be involved. FG and RB don't have a role, IMO. Their job is to be cute and dressed up and walk down the aisle. And if they tantrum, it doesn't change the fact that you GET MARRIED afterwards.

I am also from the belief that children can enjoy weddings and make it fun and aren't small destruction machines. Sorry to hijack post, and I'm not picking on anyone.<em> rant end</em>

And OP, do what PP have said. Have her do everything you would have her do if the church allowed her to be FG (with the exception of walking down the ailse of course.) She could even hand out the flowers before the ceremony, or throw petals outside the church if that's allowed and important to her.

EDIT: clarity

shayna25 · August 2012

i can't imagine having an age restriction on a flower girl....we are having my niece who is almost 3 and our son who is 2 1/2 as our flower girl and ring bearer. obviously they wont really know what is going on, but it is special to me and FI. We are having my sister (FG's mommy) walk her down the aisle holding her hand, and our son will also be walked down holding someone's hand (not sure who this will be yet). Once they get to the front of the ceremony, they will be seated with family. So there's not much risk of them falling and gettiing hurt.

maybe if you plan it out where she is walked down and then seated at the aisle your priest will okay it. If it's important to you then it's atleast worth asking about!

snowdaisy822 · August 2012

I agree with shayna25 that it's weird to me to have an age restriction, but can understand liabilities. We're having my FI's 2 year old neice, but if she can't handle it, or isn't going to be able to walk down the aisle, she will just wear her dress, get the pomander, and be in pictures with the family.

My nephew was 3 when he was in my sister's wedding. He spent the entire ceremony hanging over a bridge playing in the stream. It was really cute and added to the humor.

We will have the FGs and RBs go and sit with our parents after they walk down so they aren't distracting.

Salsera29 · September 2012

My niece will be 18 months when we get married...I have heard offhand comments from my mom and sister that she should be FG but I think she will still be too young. She already has the honor of being the only child invited to the wedding...do you think we should do anyhting else??

Our flower girl is too young to participate in the ceremony

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