Not enough table space

dlm3131 · March 2012

Our wedding is June 16th and we are having an outdoor wedding and reception. The venue does not have enough to seat all of our guests. The reception is casual with a BBQ menu...i.e. pulled pork sandwiches, mac & cheese, potato salad and the like. It's serve yourself for the food. What we have planned since it is casual is to have tall cocktail tables where we can't fit large round seated tables so that people will have something to lean against. We also planned for an extra tent in the grassy area for the beer trough with more coctail tables...some short and some tall. There will be plenty of seats just not big round sit down tables for all. Will this be okay? Will people be upset that not everyone can sit? I am so worried about this. To add to it we didn't want to waste chairs by renting two sets one for the ceremony and one for the reception. The chairs will be moved from the ceremony to the reception area on the same venue property. Thoughts, comments...please.

DramaGeek · March 2012

bbq is messy. Please don't expect people to eat out of their laps, especially while wearing nice clothes. High boys are fine for a cocktail hour, but I wouldn't want to eat my meal at one.

dlm3131 · March 2012

I don't know what my other options are since this was the only venue I could get in my areat that didn't require me hiring their caterer. Do you have any ideas?

MJandDL · March 2012

Is your issue that there is not enough room for table with chairs for everyone? Or you don't have enough tables? I guess I'm a little confused. It sounds like you have enough chairs since you are using the same ones from the ceremony. Would long tables fit better than round ones? Although if you have a ceremony and reception space on the same property why can't you use both spaces for the reception to fit more tables and chairs? I wouldn't want my guests fighting over a place to sit or spilling BBQ on their clothes.

ceh789 · March 2012

<div>You should provide a dinner height table with a chair for every guest you invite.</div><div>
</div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_not-enough-table-space?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:8ebdb876-4049-4a66-8bfd-bb5844d0bd56Post:346c41a5-e73a-4629-9281-f9ad1e73ffe6">Re: Not enough table space</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know what my other options are since this was the only venue I could get in my areat that didn't require me hiring their caterer. <strong>Do you have any ideas?</strong>
Posted by dlm3131[/QUOTE]
Only invite as many guests as you can afford to host properly. If you can only fit X number of dinner height tables and seats in the venue you can afford then you need to only invite X people.<div>
</div><div>
</div><div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_not-enough-table-space?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:8ebdb876-4049-4a66-8bfd-bb5844d0bd56Post:ef4eb6b3-f57a-4e80-9e1a-89fe9482eaab">Not enough table space</a>:
[QUOTE]...so that people will have something to lean against.
Posted by dlm3131[/QUOTE]
</div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>You can't seriously think it's appropriate or kind to offer a guest a place to <u style="font-weight:bold;">lean</u>, can you?</div>

DramaGeek · March 2012

Do you not have enough tables, or not enough space for tables? If it's not enough tables, rent some. If it's not enough space, cut your guest list until your list fits the space you have.

dlm3131 · March 2012

It's a historic home with two areas on the outside to be used. We are using one side for the ceremony and the other side for the reception. The reception side is concrete and odd shaped so it's hard to fit more than 10 round tables and the wedding party table in it. I had thought about not inviting all my friends from work but they are like family (the work people are all Air Force folks). When I mentioned the seating to them they all said they didn't care because they were all planning to be in the tent area with the beer most of the night. I could can extend out to grassy area further but it's too uneven for the tables. Keep in mind this is a casual reception where we have told people to bring comfortable clothes like shorts to change into. Your comments are so helpful and have helped me reconfirm that this might be a bad idea. I just can't find another reception area. Ughh.

DramaGeek · March 2012

Are you sure the grassy area is too uneven for tables? I've been to lots of outdoor receptions, it's usually not a big deal. Could you also use the ceremony side for tables as well? If the chairs are there for the ceremony, it can't be too uneven. While normally I'd say everyone needs to be in one area, if the choice is to not have a table or have a table slightly apart from the rest of the reception, I'd take being slightly apart.

ceh789 · March 2012

What area are you looking in? Have you asked for suggestions on your local board yet? I really think you need to either scrap your venue or cut your guest list if you can't fit enough tables.

People will, of course, say that whatever you do is fine. That doesn't make it fine. That means that they love you and are tolerating your inhospitable arrangement because they think you don't know how to be a proper hostess and they are too mannerly to say so to your face. Truly, I'm not trying to be mean to you, I'm trying to help you avoid being rude to your guests.

Sue-n-Kevin · March 2012

It sounds as though more info is needed

- As the others have asked, is it a space issue, or table/chair ratio/cost issue? Is this a large outdoor area that endlessly spreads out and you are trying to centralize everything? If you are getting a tent for the "beer trough" (no idea what that is), can you move that and place some tables and chairs under the tent?

You indicate it is casual, it's simply BBQ. But it is still an event you are inviting people to. I'd assume since it's almost 3 months away you have not sent out the invitations yet.

It's ok to have taller or shorter "cocktail tables" spread around for people to stand at if you are having a reception that lasts perhaps an hour. I go to cocktail parties all the time where there are tall tables to stand at and fewer chairs. But there really needs to be tables and chairs, enough for every guest attending your wedding, the entire night. ESPECIALLY if they are standing on grass in dress heels.

If this is outdoors, and you have hired a caterer and are renting the outdoor area, is there one person who is sort of coordinating all this besides you? A consultant, coordinator, someone? If so, you would want to involve them in getting all the facts together for you and sitting down with you and helping you out.

We are only guessing when we attempt to provide answers.

Good luck.

dlm3131 · March 2012

You just gave me an idea. What do you think of this? We have the ceremony then have the officiate annouce cocktails and snacks on the other side of the house while we reconfigure the ceremony area for the reception. I would have to rent a dance floor because of the move but this might work. We could still untilize the other side of the house for people to hang out and just drink after they eat if they don't want to stay seated. This also helps because we wouldn't have to move the chairs to the other side of the house.

dlm3131 · March 2012

Thank you for your response. I am pretty much planning all of this with my best friends help. My caterer is a friend doing it for free so I didn't hire anyone. I am deployed overseas currently so the invitations were done before I left, just waiting to be mailed now (can't really change the venue). I think I will be able to work it out as seen in my last post. I appreciate everyones help and honest opinions because as stated above...my friends are going to be nice and say its okay but I knew it just didn't seem okay so that is why I consulted all of you reading this. Thanks a million for your ideas and input.

crnflkgirl75 · March 2012

I think the solution is a great one!

LeiselEB · March 2012

Your solution sounds great

Good luck!

RebeccaB88 · March 2012

I was going to say that I'd be pretty upset to not have a table and chair, especially with messy food like barbecue. But I like your potential solution, and I'd be fine with that as a guest.

DramaGeek · March 2012

I agree, your solution sounds perfect!

ceh789 · March 2012

Chiming in to agree that you seem to have found a great solution - kudos!

SCogs18 · March 2012

I think you've found a good solution! My biggest wedding pet peeve is not being given a chair to sit on at a table. I once ate shrimp/grits and a bbq sandwhich standing at a cocktail table with 7 other people...SEVEN. Another time, FI and I wandered away from the party and ended up sitting in the ceremony space on a bench because there was not a seat to be had.

Also, thank you for your service!

dlm3131 · March 2012

It's my pleasure. Thank you!

Not enough table space

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