Tacky???

kmjaccaud · August 2010

My fiancé and I are hosting 4 hours of open bar for our guests (1 hour cocktail and 3 hours reception) however, our friends are pretty wild and will most likely not be ready to leave the party at 10pm when it is scheduled to end. The hotel we are having the reception at has the room reserved for us for the entire night at no additional cost and we found a DJ that is reasonably priced for additional hours of music. My question is, if we want to keep the party going after the 4 hours of open bar are up, is it tacky/inappropriate to change the bar from open bar to cash bar and ask guests to pay for their drinks for the rest of the night?

PharmacyBride · August 2010

My friends will head to a hotel room with a bathtub filled with beer and ice!

Does the open bar count during dinner? Mine closes during dinner and toasts since everyone will be seated. Unlimited wine will be served instead.. but it won't affect the length of my open bar.

Just an option to consider.

bellebride116 · August 2010

Extend the open bar as well.

twilight.rose · August 2010

Ditto PPs. If you're going to continue hosting the party, you need to continue paying for your guests' drinks.

ehathewa · August 2010

I think it is fine to host cocktails for the dinner portion and not later - that is pretty common around here.

I like to think of it as I am hosting a dinner and some drinks for friends... I'm not paying for people to get smashed.

wfdfire607 · August 2010

I agree to keep it open. Our plans are to serve beer and Sangria. That way our guests are still getting their drinks but we're not going into debt.

AbbeyS2011 · August 2010

I think it is OK to not extend the bar past 10 pm - if your guests want to drink after that, let it be on their dime. There is no "rule" in wedding receptions that say you "must" have an open bar all the time. Do what you can afford, pure and simple.

aerinpegadrak · August 2010

Your guests should never have to open their wallets at an event you're hosting. Period. Extend the bar, or close it during dinner to make up the time. If you convert to cash bar at the last minute, the extra money you spend on the DJ will probably be wasted, because the party's likely to wrap up once that happens.

MyNameIsNot · August 2010

If you extend the reception, you need to host it. If you can't afford it, end the reception, and then informally let your friends know that you will be back down at the bar for a few more cocktails later if they want to stick around. You can party at the hotel bar and they will get the picture that it is on their dime.

Britt1406 · August 2010

I went to a wedding recently where the wedding ended and a bunch of us (including the bride/groom) walked down to anothe bar. I'd say instead of paying for the DJ to extend it and having guests pay for their own drinks, hit up somewhere else.

KrystalsKitsch · August 2010

The hotel we are using has a nightclub that we intend on hitting up after the reception... that is, if people are still standing! I think extending the party is great, but I don't think you should have to host it. You've done enough! Pile into some cabs and go out!

aerinpegadrak · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_tacky-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:6efb1b44-8725-4826-8a67-691f1c8221c0Post:a545cc35-ddba-44f4-a0eb-da9831469cdc">Re: Tacky???</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Tacky??? : This is exactly what we did. We had an afternoon reception and once it was over, DH and I checked into the hotel room, met our parents for dinner, and then went to the local karaoke bar downtown. We had spread the word via the WP that we'd be hanging out there and more than 40 showed up to party with us. It was perfect.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
My friend's wedding last summer did something similar. Things wrapped up at the reception fairly early (maybe 8-ish), so we all went back to our hotel, got changed into more comfortable clothes, then walked to the hotel where the bride and groom were staying, and hung out at the bar with the couple and most of their younger guests until well after midnight. There was no expectation that the couple would pay for drinks once we left the country club.

pacel40 · August 2010

Sorry but I think it depends on where you live and what is socially acceptable. In my part of the world it is completely acceptable to have a cash bar. Now we are buying so many kegs and then everyone is on their own. Everyone we have spoken to about this is completely understanding and thinks its a great idea to NOT pay for everyone to drink.

vickiloew · August 2010

I think you should just end the reception at 10:00 and if people still want to party then pick a place and let people know through word of mouth that that is where you will be if they want to join you.

We are kind of calling ours and after-party but making it clear that we are not hosting it. We are simply telling people that we are going to our favorite bar after the reception ends at 11p and whoever wants to come can come and continue partying with us!

gottahavashorti · August 2010

I wouldn't extend it if it's turning to cash bar.

Have a bar in mind, and spread the word that ABC Bar is nearby if anyone wants to keep partying after the reception ends at 10. We had an after party like this that was going to be unhosted, although my dad was having fun and decided that he was going to cover the tab for everyone.

ronetta12 · August 2010

my cousin got married last year and he and his wife had open bar for cocktail hour only, and then the rest of the wedding was cash bar, but the drinks were at happy hour prices...it wasn't awkward. i was like "aww man!" but i was cool with it. everyone's got a budget.

Belle2Be · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_tacky-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:6efb1b44-8725-4826-8a67-691f1c8221c0Post:966f13e0-8c4a-474e-8694-1097e2d75c17">Tacky???</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiancé and I are hosting 4 hours of open bar for our guests (1 hour cocktail and 3 hours reception) however, our friends are pretty wild and will most likely not be ready to leave the party at 10pm when it is scheduled to end. The hotel we are having the reception at has the room reserved for us for the entire night at no additional cost and we found a DJ that is reasonably priced for additional hours of music. My question is, if we want to keep the party going after the 4 hours of open bar are up, is it tacky/inappropriate to change the bar from open bar to cash bar and ask guests to pay for their drinks for the rest of the night?
Posted by kmjaccaud[/QUOTE]

No, its not tacky. You paid for the cocktail and the reception, you aren't responsible (IMO) for the after-party :)

ETA I went to a wedding a month ago that had the same thing, the hotel offered a conference room for the after-party, they had a stereo and we listened to music. They did fill a few ice-chests full of beer, but most everyone went to the hotel bar for any additional drinks.

aerinpegadrak · August 2010

If it's in the same room, though, it's not really an after-party. It's just a longer reception.

skelle12 · August 2010

I don't think it's tacky. Most weddings I've been to have been open bar up until after dinner or until the budget of the people paying for the booze runs out.

Tacky???

Re: Tacky???

Choose Another Board

Search Boards