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Newly engaged and already MOH issues...

krmabojokrmabojo
100 Comments
in Missouri-St Louis

My FI and I are not getting married until Spring 2011 but a friend of mine EXPECTS and ASSUMES she will be my MOH. I have not even planned the WP yet.

I do not know how to tell her that she is not my MOH because I did not promise anything to her. I have a feeling this is going to ruin the friendship, even though it will be on account of her own assumptions.

When it comes time to decide on a WP, should I ask her to be my MOH to keep the peace or let her know that I have chosen someone else?

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Re: Newly engaged and already MOH issues...

  • pandabear322pandabear322
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I've got a little bit of the same situation.  A friend of mine I've known for 10 years, and another I've known for about 6 years.  I can't imagine my 6yr friend would expect to be my MOH, but when I asked her to be mine (I'm having both of them as MOH), she warned me that I wasn't going to be hers, since she'd known her friend longer than me. 

    I'd go out to lunch with her and have a heart to heart.  Is the person you've decided to be MOH closer to you?  Have you known her longer?  Tell your friend all of these reasons, and maybe tell her she can be a bridesmaid instead.  (In my book, I really don't see a big difference!) 

    I don't think it will ruin the friendship, and if it does, I'd say its a pretty shallow one-sided friendship!  I would never stop being friends with someone just because they didn't let me be MOH in their wedding!!!  After all, its YOUR choice!!

    Good Luck!!  =)
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  • shawna77inilshawna77inil member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If someone decided to stop being your friend because you didn't choose them to be your MOH, then they weren't a very good friend to begin with.  Another good way to cut the drama of the whole situation is not have a huge bridal party.  I have a number of people I would call good friends, but we kept our bridal party to two people standing for each of us.  If you don't start putting everyone you have ever known up there next to you, you don't have to worry about "stepping on toes" when you have this friend and not that friend, even though you all run in the same circle, etc.  Dont let anyone make you feel drama, and there won't be any.  Worked for us like a charm.  :-) 
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  • DazzleDazzle
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Kristi:


    This is tough, but I would have who you want as your MOH.  You may want to include this person in your WP in some other capacity.


    Also, I am a wedding planner in St. Louis and would love to sit down with you to discuss some options that can help you save money and time.  Please contact me at 314.324.4632.


    Have a great day!


    Marilyn Moll-Ruggeri


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