Pre-wedding Parties

Bachelorette Party - how much is too much from the bride?

Background: The bride is going out of state for a bachelorette party that her MOH (sister) is throwing for her. The only invites to that are their other sisters (4 total) and another bridemsaid who also lives in the same location as that party.

I thought it would be nice to host one for her locally, to gather friends that aren't included in the one out of state. I mentioned this to one of her bridesmaids (another sister) and she thought it was great. However, we haven't even got any plans down except for a guest list and a couple tentative dates and the planning is already driving me crazy.

When I told the bride about my ideas, she was beyond thrilled to know that I wanted to plan this, as I am not part of the wedding... just a good friend who has planned many parties like this in the past with great success. However, all of the other ones I have helped plan - the bride was fine with giving a few ideas here and there about what she wanted to do, but trusted me, and anyone else involved in the planning, in what actually would go on. For this particular party, the bride wants to pretty much plan it... and I am not OK with that.

She's already asked other friends if it would be OK to use their house for the party, although I own my home and can also use my boyfriends house (whose place is setup very well to host parties). I know she has a list of hopes and thoughts that she's wanting, but have a feeling that if this stuff doesn't get done - she won't enjoy the party. I already know she doesn't want any phallus objects and I told her I was fine with that, wasn't even in the planning anyway. And I don't have a problem taking her ideas down... but if we do everything she wants, to me, that's like her planning her own. That could be my opinion, however. I just want it to be fun, and maybe my ideas of planning are different then theirs. I know they have never helped with something like this before, so it could be that factor as well.

Her sister keeps telling me that it's her party, and yes... that is correct... but it's a party FOR her. We're planning on meeting this weekend to do some hardcore brainstorming, and the bride is going to be there as well. I don't have a problem getting ideas, but like I said... I feel like she's planning this for herself. This is her night to sit back, relax and enjoy an evening with friends. Let the two of us planning it be stressed about what's going on!

Maybe I just needed to vent, ha. Am I thinking too much into it? I almost told the sister last week that I didn't want to help with this anymore, once the bride was requesting this and that... it just got to me.

Re: Bachelorette Party - how much is too much from the bride?

  • Thanks for your response, it means a lot!

    We did end up meeting and it went really well. I did lose on having the party at either my place or my boyfriends. The sister and bride both liked this other gals house so I just let it be. I advised that it would be hard to decorate and do other things someplace else, but whatever. At least I won't have toc clean up! *lol* There won't be too much pre-party planning to do, like deocrations, etc. We're planning on having a Bloody Mary and Taco Bar, in which guests will be asked to bring an item to share (mainy the Taco Bar, we don't mind doing the BM one). So that shouldn't be too bad to deal with.

    It was nice to meet, and the bride didn't actually have too many demands... just that it be fun, chill and we play games (like Catchphrase, Apples to Apples, etc). At first she wanted to do stuff outside, but we let her know that if she wanted people to dress up, being outside and then looking nice when we hit the town on a party bus may be hard. As if any of us want to leave, freshen up and come back. So we got that removed and will do everything inside.

    It should go well, and I have had a few others invited who say they'll help with whatever and I fully plan to use them (less money out of my pocket). It just didn't help that the sister was taking control of something that was my idea in the first place, and that bothered me the most. We'll see though.
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