Considering (gasp!) NO wedding favors...what do you think?

fallingsnow · May 2010

Trying to figure out favors has probably been one of my most difficult decisions! I'm seriously considering doing without them altogether. Personally, I think they're a total waste of money. It's next to impossible to find something that EVERYbody will like, and I don't think I've ever gotten one that I fully appreciated.

On one hand, I want everyone to know how much we appreciate their presence at our wedding. But on the other...isn't all of the money we're spending on food, entertainment etc., already expressing our appreciation? Do they really need a $2 trinket to show them how happy we are thay they could make it?

What does everyone think? Would you feel insulted?

smw42 · May 2010

I'm on the fence with this one. I think guests our age (well, i'm 25 so I use our loosely) wouldn't mind- but you have to think of your whole guest list. If your family is very traditional I would see this upsetting some guests.

What about alternatives to an actual favor? I know someone on here did zeppoli's or something like that. Our florist is breaking down our centerpieces while guests are in the venetian hour and we're giving each female a bouquet of flowers from the centerpiece. I would explore alternatives (which I suspect you already have) before nixing the entire favor idea. I isn't absolutely necessary and either way you go someone will complain- so do what makes you and your FI happy.

jtheiss · May 2010

I wouldn't say I would be "totally insulted" if there wasn't a favor, but I would definitely notice that there wasn't one and wonder why. If it was a good friend or family member and I knew that they were in a tight financial situation or something, it totally wouldn't bother me. But honestly, I was at a wedding for FI's coworker recently and there was no favor and I was a little put off. The whole "we're paying for their dinner, isn't that enough" logic doesn't really fly because most guests are going to get a gift that would roughly offset their plate (as a general rule). I think a little something as a thank you for coming and also thank you for your gift is appropriate. I would recommend something edible. EVERYONE may not like it, depending on what it is, but they are likely to find someone at the table who does like it and will gladly take two so they won't go to waste. Most people like chocolate, so just get some chocolates. That way you don't offend people who are expecting something, but you don't waste money on a stupid trinket.

lknud819 · May 2010

i said other, because i would definitely notice that there wasn't a favor, but i don't think i would really care too much

jrgoogrl · May 2010

*special snowflake*

Just because I wouldn't think that the couple was cheap for not having favors, and I wouldn't be insulted. I agree on not doing a trinket of some sort, because most of the time they are useless nonsense items. (No offense to those who have done trinkets). I agree with edible favors. You really can go wrong with chocolate, cookies, pretzels, candy apples, etc. Even if a guest doesn't have a sweet tooth or something like that, there is always some willing to take more than one!

We went to a wedding back in February, and their favors were votive candles. I can't tell you how many people left them on the tables.

ecg129 · May 2010

Agree with PP. How about having a cupcake or treat to go for each guest? Or instead of favors - have a candy bar station on the way out? Something to leave with

reese511 · May 2010

other...just like PP - i would notice there wasnt one, but i wouldnt really care. but the old folks might be like WTH? what if you just did like mints or something? i think the candy bar is a great idea...but it adds up quick. i was at a wedding once where they gave out tic-tac's and just had them personalized w/ the names and the date. i actually kept those in my purse and ate them all!

smw42 · May 2010

Reese I love love love your inspiration board!

NJMom050911 · May 2010

I don't think I would be insulted but I would notice. I also agree that the older people do expect something to take home and might wonder why you don't have anything for them. If you are doing flowers someone had a great idea, at the end of the night someone would take the centerpieces, take them apart and make little bouquets (or even single flowers) and give them to all the ladies attending (men don't usually care that there isn't a favor)....

Edit: Sorry I posted that idea without realizing that the owner of this wonderful idea has already posted it above. My apologies!

AnnPH424 · May 2010

I would notice but not really care. Like smw said if you have a traditional crowd they will be looking for something.

We are inviting a majority of older people to our wedding and I know they'll be looking for something, even if it is small. I've heard my aunts talk and say..."so and so didn't give out any favor, can you believe it?". I guess the 60+ crowd lives for these things.

smw42 · May 2010

Kathy- Thanks! I have to give credit that we went to a wedding that did this years ago and stole the idea. I think it's one of the things I'm looking forward to the most.

Ann- Oh yes they totally live for these things- my FMIL (not even 60 yet) has EVERY wedding favor she's received in their china cabinet. Even the edible ones she saves the little bags from. Did I mention she's Italian?

DandT1206 · May 2010

i think people will notice/comment if there wasn't a favor. With that said, if you can't find something to give out, chocolate/candy or donations are usually a big hit that many people will appreciate... AND it's not a trinket that will go to waste.

AnnPH424 · May 2010

Sherri...that was my grandmother!! Everything went in the china cabinet! Even the candy! gross! I think in the 70s it was cool to give out toothpick holders, she had a bunch of those! Too funny!

uppereastgirl · May 2010

I said this on a thread the other day, but you can thank me for coming in your thank you note. I will also enjoy the wine and food that you provide me at the wedding

Butterstick · May 2010

We're considering doing a donation to a charity, and then putting a little note/scroll for everyone saying that a donation ahd been made in honor of the guests or soemthing like that.

leah2b · May 2010

I would think it is totally fine. I don't think I've ever cared one way or the other about favors at any wedding I have been to. Is someone really going to be offended because they didn't get a chocolate treat?

reese511 · May 2010

thanks, Sherri!!

Jaytee501 · May 2010

The closest we came to giving a favor:

The Jordan almonds in bundles of 5, specifically, are traditional (I know in a few cultures) in the Greek culture (part of my heritage).

We attached escort cards to pretty bundles of almonds & on the BACK of the escort card, printed the "story"/history behind the almonds, the usse of 5, etc.

I don't know if anyone else THOUGHT if it as a favor & that's ok...

I personally think no trinkets is fine.

raangoli · May 2010

I voted that I would NOT be insulted, but that's mostly because I am struggling with the same issue, hah.

No offense to those who prefer to give out the "trinkets" but I think they would be the biggest waste of money. People either won't take them, or rather leave them behind. I would hate to see that happen to something I spent good money on.

That being said, we are considering either a candy bar/buffet or a donation in lieu of a favor. I know some people might not like the donation either, since they dont "get' anything from it, but at least I know our money would be better put to use there than on a $2 votive candle.

daflaminga · May 2010

I am donating money and everyone will have a laminated bookmark at their place setting to inform them of the cause.

M&R7111 · May 2010

I am paying a "butt-load" for people to have a fun time of drinking, eating, and dancing. That's enough.

Besides, I NEVER thought twice about the favor at the table. Of all the weddings I have gone to, I don't even know where those favors are.

I did think the wine topper was nice from one wedding, but it broke the second we used it!! My goddie bag to everyone is the open bar!!!!

RebeccaW2010 · May 2010

Sherri-OMG that comment about the china cabinet was hysterical!

I really ejoyed reading this post since I am struggling with the same thing right now. I have a wine theme and I was going to do stoppers, then oil bottles, then wine but now I said screw it and i think I am going to go with grape shaped chocolates or something edible like that. Thanks all

BloomiesBride · May 2010

we are doing a donation to our a few charities close to us, makes sense because I work for a non profit. I would not care or notice if I didn't get a useless trinket at the wedding you graciously invited me to and paid for me to drink, dance and eat.

I stopped worrying about what this person or that person thinks... its your wedding.

Fink · May 2010

Totally struggling with this issue too! We are lucky in that paying for favors isn't an issue for us, but my sister and MOH says it is completely unnecessary to have favors. It just feels really weird to me not to have favors, but like pp I don't want to get someting that no one will use.

So, since we are big card players (my FI pays poker and I play poker and black jack - our fam/friends know this), if we do favors, we are thinking of getting personalized playing cards. What do you ladies think of that as a favor?

christina3769xo · May 2010

I've never gotten a favor that was really useful. I say save your money. I am doing a dontation to St. Jude Children's Cancer Research.

Considering (gasp!) NO wedding favors...what do you think?

Re: Considering (gasp!) NO wedding favors...what do you think?

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