groom's parents guest list

[Deleted User] · April 2013

My guest list includes no children. The only children invited are in the wedding. My fiances mother put together their list included children. I had said I wasn't including children but she was very firm in inviting a few children were family members. How can I get out of inviting them? I just don't think a wedding or reception is a place for children.

vanityink · April 2013

Just don't invite them?

Are you paying for the wedding yourself? If so you are in no ways obligated to invite anyone you don't want. Send an invite to the parents only and explain to your FMIL you aren't inviting children. Period.

Of course, if she's paying, that's an entirely different can of worms.

AddieCake · April 2013

Ditto Jessica. Who is paying? If they are paying, they do get a say in the guest list. If not, your fiance, b/c it is HIS mother, needs to tell her that THE BOTH OF YOU do not want children there and that the discussion is closed.

JMalettas · April 2013

This was definitely an issue for us as well! We also don't want children at our wedding, and there were definate opinions from my fiance's mom. I agree with AddieL73, that your fiance needs to have this discussion with his mother. That's exactly what we had to do. She wasn't overly happy, but this is our wedding, and we had both made this decision. We are paying for the majority of our wedding, so it had to be done, and she eventually got over it. Although, I do agree, that if you're MIL is paying for your wedding, totally different situation!

mlg78 · April 2013

It may also depend who these people are. My fiancé has a couple of younger cousins (13 & 15) who are invited because they're his first cousins. Beyond that, no children. The bottom line: who is paying?

JMalettas · April 2013

In our situation, our guest list count was as many children, (under 10), as adults. Not only was it a cost issue, at I believe $12 per child, but at our family functions, children take over the event. Running around, in and out of people's things, and until someone is hurt, or an annoyed adult says something, the parents seem to think this is completely fine. I'm not here to judge, but it was just something that my fiance and I didn't want our wedding day to turn in to. I think if the amount of kids were lower, it wouldn't have been such a problem for us. Family did stress that their kids should attend the ceremony, which we were fine with, but then specified on our rsvp's it is an 'adult only' reception/dinner. (Obv worded more formally). :P Everyone seemed fine with this, as we're not the first in our family to have no children attend the reception.

ladytori · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_grooms-parents-guest-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:5fe8ee5d-2b86-4464-a855-b5a932895255Post:02fc3654-3267-4384-b4c9-1412057b1c4f">Re: groom's parents guest list</a>:
[QUOTE]In my family kids are always invited to weddings but I have been to a few non-kid weddings as well. Just wondering if anyone can explain why weddings/receptions are "not a place for children." Honestly just wondering. LIke I said in my family you would never dream of not having them. It's a big family affair. But it seems many people differ.
Posted by scribe95[/QUOTE]

Some brides and grooms are on tight budgets, and they are limited with the number of guests to invite. Some couples can spend $75 to $200 a plate for each guest. If a bride and groom invites a couple, it will cost them $150 to $400 to properly host that couple. However if they invite the same couple with their 3 children, it will cost $375 to $1000. This may put them over budget.

MyNameIsNot · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_grooms-parents-guest-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:5fe8ee5d-2b86-4464-a855-b5a932895255Post:aac5616b-9854-4abf-92c5-66b662137497">Re: groom's parents guest list</a>:
[QUOTE]I understand making a budget choice to not invite kids. But I was more interested in those who do it for other reasons. As in when this poster says she doesn't think a wedding and reception are a place for children. That doesn't sound budget-related. And I have heard the sentiment elsewhere on the board. That's what I was asking about.
Posted by scribe95[/QUOTE]

<div>Basically, it's none of anyone's business. It's up to each couple to decide who they want to invite and not invite, and they don't have to justify it to anyone. (Except parents if they are helping pay.) If they don't want to invite children, it isn't a place for children. </div><div>
</div><div>OP, your FI needs to call his mother. "Sorry mom, but we have decided that we will not be inviting children. Would you still like for me to invite Sue and Steve?" He needs to present as a united front, and she needs to understand that this is not something she can change. </div>

MoxieMickie · April 2013

Scribe, it sounds like you've been at enough weddings with kids to understand kids act differently than adults, especially kids who misbehave. Not everyone wants that behavior at their wedding. And some people jsut don't like kids. Some people don't want kids where there will be adults drinking.

[Deleted User] · April 2013

Sorry everyone! I have been away! My family has paid for the wedding. His family has not contributed to anything... at all. Except for submitting a guest list for the wedding.

I suppose I don't want children bc I know who is coming to the wedding. I want it to be an adult affair. For the same reason children aren't allowed in bars. I want the adults to let loose, and actually enjoy themselves. I'm sorry-- this isn't an event to get your family photo in.

Also... I canNOT stand whining or crying. So help me, I won't walk down the aisle if little Jonny is crying about his goldfish he spilled.

I want a romantic evening ceremony at sunset with lots of candles. Candles cause fires.

Plus I have put a lot of my own work and money into decorations and such.

And the reception... I can only imagine after a few cocktails what will come out of all my GM's mouths. They are college/soccer buddies. Let's say Friday isn't our favorite "F" word.

As for children-- the only ones who are invited are the ones in the wedding. Such as, my brother (8yo) and my sister (11yo), flower girl (7yo) who is the daughter of my BM (and is a single mother), and my son (6yo) who is the ring bearer. My FMIL wants to invite her 3yo godbaby. And this kid WHINES ALL MEALS! Thanksgiving, Christmas, Surprise 50th Birthday, etc... It's "Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" ALLLLLLL the way through the meal.

[Deleted User] · April 2013

Also this is a mid to high-end wedding. Top-shelf bar. $100 plates. Etc.

groom's parents guest list

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