will our guests be bored?

ettie404 · April 2013

im wondering if anyone has had a wedding without dancing and a DJ and if people were bored and left?

we are having an afternoon wedding, and im worried that if there is no 'entertainment' (just background music) people will leave 30 minites after the lunch is served.

GoodLuckBear14 · April 2013

We had a cocktail reception with open bar and heavy apps. We were able to burn CDs to play on the sound system so there was some background music. Adults tend to like visiting with eachother so don't worry about they being bored.

wittykitty14 · April 2013

My friends had a 4pm ceremony with the reception after. They did the iPod playlist thing, played through a crappy guitar amp. It was so quiet that it ended up being background music, even through their dances. People were definitely bored, I won't lie. I had a good time, because FI and I sat with friends and had a good time catching up and having a few laughs. I don't remember how the timing worked out, but I don't think many people stayed too long after dinner was over. We stayed until the very end, and the reception sort of ended itself because everyone just left. I still enjoyed myself because I was so happy for my friends, but seeing the guests bored was a little sad.

itzMS · April 2013

I had a 3 hour long afternoon reception. We didn't have any entertainment, but the hall was full of people talking, eating, and drinking.

It seemed like the time just flew by. I think it will be OK.

daria24 · April 2013

I attended one afternoon wedding, which also happened to be a dry wedding, without any sort of music and it was lovely. The family was really scattered across the East Coast so everyone had a lot to catch up on. Also, the food was AMAZING and I think that helped put people in a really good mood.

I've attended a small evening reception where they just had a jazz trio playing for some background music and we all had a really great time. Again, amazing food, good company.

On the other hand, I've been to an afternoon reception that had a full open bar and DJ and it was boring as paste. No one wanted to dance, most people left as soon as the cake was done, etc. So bottom line is, it all depends on your guest list.

AddieCake · April 2013

We had an afternoon reception with a string trio instead of dancing and DJ that lasted about 2 hours. I don't think anyone was bored. They came, saw us get married, had lunch with us, and went on with their day. I was really happy with it.

Mrskjharris2013 · April 2013

I have the same question. Neither my Fi or I dance. I do however want to have a murder mystery event type of thing. This way people get to know each other and chitter chat at the table, however, this search is more expensive than hiring a band.

itzMS · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_will-our-guests-be-bored?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:a3bdb49b-087c-4e7c-9999-83010e148ddcPost:0987afdc-daf1-4686-8ac8-aa7c06e919ad">Re: will our guests be bored?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have the same question. Neither my Fi or I dance. I do however want to have a murder mystery event type of thing. <strong>This way people get to know each other and chitter chat at the table</strong>, however, this search is more expensive than hiring a band.
Posted by Mrskjharris2013[/QUOTE]

No. You don't need to force people to "get to know each other".

Guests can handle themselves. They don't need to be "pacified" with things like murder mysteries, ISpy, and scavenger hunts.

If you don't want to dance, have a shorter reception during the morning or afternoon.

AJuliaNJ · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_will-our-guests-be-bored?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a3bdb49b-087c-4e7c-9999-83010e148ddcPost:0987afdc-daf1-4686-8ac8-aa7c06e919ad">Re: will our guests be bored?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have the same question. Neither my Fi or I dance. I do however want to have a murder mystery event type of thing. This way people get to know each other and chitter chat at the table, however, this search is more expensive than hiring a band.
Posted by Mrskjharris2013[/QUOTE]

<div>I personally love this, but I know from experience it probably wouldn't work for most. I've had 2 friends have murder mystery parties at their houses and I was gung-ho but other people lost interest pretty quickly.</div>

OwningAHome1981 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_will-our-guests-be-bored?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:a3bdb49b-087c-4e7c-9999-83010e148ddcPost:8105dade-360d-4979-8d5d-8d8256ca81db">will our guests be bored?</a>:
[QUOTE]im wondering if anyone has had a wedding without dancing and a DJ and if people were bored and left? we are having an afternoon wedding, and im worried that if there is no 'entertainment' (just background music) people will leave 30 minites after the lunch is served.
Posted by ettie404[/QUOTE]

I won't lie. I would be very bored, but I don't think I would necessaruly leave- it also depends on whose wedding it is and how many people I know. That said, how long is the wedding? I would say 4 hours with only background music would be a really long time but 2 hours it might be fine. This is also one of those "you have to know your guests" things.

AJuliaNJ · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_will-our-guests-be-bored?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a3bdb49b-087c-4e7c-9999-83010e148ddcPost:7fc9a86f-153d-43c0-b516-6c7857841c20">Re: will our guests be bored?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to will our guests be bored? : I won't lie. I would be very bored, but I don't think I would necessaruly leave- it also depends on whose wedding it is and how many people I know. That said, how long is the wedding? I would say 4 hours with only background music would be a really long time but 2 hours it might be fine. This is also one of those "you have to know your guests" things.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]<div>
<div>Hmm...but haven't you ever been to a party for more than 2 hours? You can just circulate and talk to different people. It might be tough for people who don't know anyone else, but that would be the case even if there was dancing.</div></div>

OwningAHome1981 · April 2013

In Response to Re:will our guests be bored?:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: will our guests be bored?:In Response to will our guests be bored? : I won't lie. I would be very bored, but I don't think I would necessaruly leave it also depends on whose wedding it is and how many people I know. That said, how long is the wedding? I would say 4 hours with only background music would be a really long time but 2 hours it might be fine. This is also one of those "you have to know your guests" things.Posted by OwningAHome1981Hmm...but haven't you ever been to a party for more than 2 hours? You can just circulate and talk to different people. It might be tough for people who don't know anyone else, but that would be the case even if there was dancing. Posted by AndreaJulia[/QUOTE]

Yes but at parties there are generally other things to do whether it's card games, drinking games etc etc. If the only thing to do was talk and listen to background music for 4 hours I would be bored. People only have an attention span for so long. I think if the OP chooses to do this she should provide other kinds of entertainment, even if it is just throwing decks of cards down at each table for people to play. Engage them in something!

AddieCake · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_will-our-guests-be-bored?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a3bdb49b-087c-4e7c-9999-83010e148ddcPost:0987afdc-daf1-4686-8ac8-aa7c06e919ad">Re: will our guests be bored?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have the same question. Neither my Fi or I dance. I do however want to have a murder mystery event type of thing. This way people get to know each other and chitter chat at the table, however, this search is more expensive than hiring a band.
Posted by Mrskjharris2013[/QUOTE]
I love murder mystery dinners. But I only love them when that's the event I'm attending, just like I love movies when I go to movies and miniature golf when I go to play miniature golf. Don't try to come up with additional entertainment or force people to get to know each other. People get to know each other by talking to each other if they feel like it, not by being forced to. <div>
</div><div>
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ettie404 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_will-our-guests-be-bored?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:a3bdb49b-087c-4e7c-9999-83010e148ddcPost:7fc9a86f-153d-43c0-b516-6c7857841c20">Re: will our guests be bored?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to will our guests be bored? : I won't lie. I would be very bored, but I don't think I would necessaruly leave- it also depends on whose wedding it is and how many people I know. That said, how long is the wedding? I would say 4 hours with only background music would be a really long time but 2 hours it might be fine. This is also one of those "you have to know your guests" things.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

the reception will only be 2 hours

kaos16 · April 2013

I don't think people will get bored. In my experience, afternoon wedding receptions tend to be a bit shorter than evening ones, and often don't have as much dancing generally. If your friends and family like to have fun, chatting and socializing they'll have a great time with or without music i'm guessing.

I do not agree with OwningAHome that you should "throw decks of cards" on tables for people to play games. Adults can entertain themselves, if someone is not having a good time, they have the option to leave as with most functions.

itzMS · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_will-our-guests-be-bored?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:a3bdb49b-087c-4e7c-9999-83010e148ddcPost:707fca09-38f4-443a-bc8a-69fe2fea7dcd">Re:will our guests be bored?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:will our guests be bored?: Yes but at parties there are generally other things to do whether it's card games, drinking games etc etc. If the only thing to do was talk and listen to background music for 4 hours I would be bored. People only have an attention span for so long. I think if the OP chooses to do this she should provide other kinds of entertainment, even if it is just throwing decks of cards down at each table for people to play. Engage them in something!
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

I must've missed the memo that adults need to be kept "engaged". Maybe if your wedding was a bunch of grade school kids, sure. Have some games and coloring books. It's really immature of an adult to need to be entertained and have that line of thinking.

Guests attend weddings to show support and congratulations to the bride and groom. Not to play card games, drinking games, and have forced interaction.

GoodLuckBear14 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_will-our-guests-be-bored?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:a3bdb49b-087c-4e7c-9999-83010e148ddcPost:707fca09-38f4-443a-bc8a-69fe2fea7dcd">Re:will our guests be bored?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:will our guests be bored?: Yes but at parties there are generally other things to do whether it's card games, drinking games etc etc. If the only thing to do was talk and listen to background music for 4 hours I would be bored. People only have an attention span for so long. I think if the OP chooses to do this she should provide other kinds of entertainment, even if it is just throwing decks of cards down at each table for people to play. Engage them in something!
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

How old are you that you have to be entertained and are incapable of being an adult and having adult conversations with the other guests?

OP - your two hour timeline is fine.

OwningAHome1981 · April 2013

In Response to Re:will our guests be bored?:In Response to Re:will our guests be bored?:In Response to Re:will our guests be bored?: Yes but at parties there are generally other things to do whether it's card games, drinking games etc etc. If the only thing to do was talk and listen to background music for 4 hours I would be bored. People only have an attention span for so long. I think if the OP chooses to do this she should provide other kinds of entertainment, even if it is just throwing decks of cards down at each table for people to play. Engage them in something!Posted by OwningAHome1981How old are you that you have to be entertained and are incapable of being an adult and having adult conversations with the other guests?OP your two hour timeline is fine. Posted by GoodLuckBear14 Where did I say I was incapable?? I love to dance. If I have to go to a wedding without dancing, that would not be fun for me. I also said it would depend on how many people I knew and what kind of people were there in general. I think plenty of people would be bored in this type of setting and apparently so does the OP or she wouldnt have asked the question. Some adults would be fine. I am a nice person but Ican be shy so a setting like this would be boring for me. Thats why I said you have to know your guests.

JoanE2012 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_will-our-guests-be-bored?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a3bdb49b-087c-4e7c-9999-83010e148ddcPost:8105dade-360d-4979-8d5d-8d8256ca81db">will our guests be bored?</a>:
[QUOTE]im wondering if anyone has had a wedding without dancing and a DJ and if people were bored and left? we are having an afternoon wedding, and im worried that if there is no 'entertainment' (just background music) people will leave 30 minites after the lunch is served.
Posted by ettie404[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I think if people know each other, they will stay and be fine chatting amongst themselves and having a good time. If my DH and I didn't know anybody and there was no dancing, we'd probably leave early.

</div>

BubblyBride75 · April 2013

I went to one wedding without dancing or alcohol (both were against the groom's family's religious beliefs). My friends and I arrived at the reception site immediately following the ceremony, we sat around chatting for an hour and a half until the bridal party finally showed up, another half hour before our table was finally allowed to go to the buffet. When we were done eating we left, many guests (mainly family) were leaving while we were still eating. After we finished eating we got up to leave, at that point everyone but the bridal party had left and the bride was literally pulling people back in as they were walking out for the bouquet toss so that she would actually have people to toss it to.

I also attended a backyard wedding without music or dancing. The ceremony was at 2 or 3 and when I left at 7 or 8 the party was still in full swing and everyone was having a great time.

Bottom line, consider any gap you will have into how long people will want to sit and chat, if you make your guests sit around for 2 hours prior to the reception no one will stay very long after you get there. If you host your guests properly they won't be bored and you won't need to entertain them.

will our guests be bored?

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