how to undress

jessilovesdavid · April 2013

I am getting married in my home. I will not have any attendants to help me change out of my wedding gown after the ceremony/reception. My 1st time being intimate will be on my wedding night. Should I still be in my wedding gown and let him remove it or should I change into a nightgown and be waiting for him? How do I get out of my gown by myself? I'm really nervous about looking silly. By the way, I'm 38 years old.

QueerFemme · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-undress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7ca3af6c-6da5-42f3-8b9b-f6cc1e37a80bPost:764a0eab-0c58-486c-8886-25b87851f769">how to undress</a>:
[QUOTE]I am getting married in my home. I will not have any attendants to help me change out of my wedding gown after the ceremony/reception. My1st time being intimate will be on my wedding night. Should I still be in my wedding gown and let him remove it or should I change into a noghtgown and be waiting for him? How do I get out of my gown by myself? I'm really nervous about looking silly. By the way, I'm 38 years old.
Posted by jessilovesdavid[/QUOTE]

Ask your husband to untie your corset/unzip your dress for you. If you want to freshen up, unzip/untie, and walk into the bathroom and freshen up. This is not rocket science.

daria24 · April 2013

Let him help you out of your dress, but I recommend pausing for a moment to run to the bathroom to freshen up. It can get a bit...steamy under those heavy dreses.

misshart00 · April 2013

In Response to Re:how to undress:[QUOTE]Let him help you out of your dress, but I recommend pausing for a moment to run to the bathroom to freshen up. It can get a bit...steamy under those heavy dreses.nbsp; Posted by daria24[/QUOTE]

I agree with this. Make sure you're not sweating a ton under there.

Also, from another bride you waited, if something messes up getting you out if the dress, don't worry about it. Things will go wrong. Just laugh about if and keep going.

monkeysip · April 2013

Yup... I would definitely let him help you out.

If you want to go change/freshen up, that's fine. But I'm sure he'd like to unzip/unlace/unbutton, whatever.

Also, just don't stress or put too much pressure on yourself for your first night with your husband. Even if you don't feel like putting on the lingerie, or doing certain things, that's OK. No matter what, it will be special because you're now married to the one you love and ready to be intimate with him. It may be awkward, you may laugh, things may not live up to the movie scene images we get in our heads... but just enjoy being with each other!

krizzo17 · April 2013

Have whoever sold you the dress or is doing alterations explain how to undo it. I tried on at least one dress where the buttons were actually all eye-and-hook type things, and another where there were extra loops around each button. Women's clothing can be confusing enough for women - it's only fair to give him a heads up on how the dress works!

s-aries8990 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-undress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7ca3af6c-6da5-42f3-8b9b-f6cc1e37a80bPost:08cf2ad9-feab-4a0a-b9a3-ee61abc4b981">Re: how to undress</a>:
[QUOTE]Yup... I would definitely let him help you out. If you want to go change/freshen up, that's fine. But I'm sure he'd like to unzip/unlace/unbutton, whatever. <strong>Also, just don't stress or put too much pressure on yourself for your first night with your husband.</strong> Even if you don't feel like putting on the lingerie, or doing certain things, that's OK. <strong> No matter what, it will be special because you're now married to the one you love and ready to be intimate with him. It may be awkward, you may laugh, things may not live up to the movie scene images we get in our heads... but just enjoy being with each other!</strong>
Posted by monkeysip[/QUOTE]

It will get awkward, but it is also beautiful. You will laugh, someone will fall over, but just as long as your laughing together and enjoying yourself, it's time well spent. It takes time to figure each other out and explore eachother, not just one night (it sounds sooo Dr. Ruth, but it's true!!)

Ditto pp's, ask him to help loosen the dress and you can either take it off there (yee-haw!) or go to the bathroom to freshen up, hang up your dress and change into something more comfortable.

misshart00 · April 2013

In Response to Re:how to undress:[QUOTE]I agree with the PPs. nbsp;I somehow removed my Spanx beforehand I still don't know how ... I must be a ninja. nbsp;Luckily my dress was zipper and he unzipped it for me. nbsp;does this sound like steamy narration??I saved the pretty wedding night lingerie for later. nbsp;BTW, good for you amp; FI for holidng out!!! Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]

My sister was telling me about their wedding night without details. But she said they couldn't get her spanx off. I laughed and so did she. She said her husband didn't find it as amusing.

s-aries8990 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-undress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7ca3af6c-6da5-42f3-8b9b-f6cc1e37a80bPost:e13312ea-f15e-4515-99a3-c6139f624865">Re: how to undress</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with the PPs. I (somehow) removed my Spanx beforehand (<strong>I still don't know how ... I must be a ninja)</strong>. Luckily my dress was zipper and he unzipped it for me. (does this sound like steamy narration??) I saved the pretty wedding night lingerie for later. BTW, good for you & FI for holidng out!!!
Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]

You must be! I can't even get my non-control-top panty hose down gracefully when I have to pee....

And I just googled different combinaitons of "female" and "ninja" and they are all NSFW so this will have to remain image- and gif-less.

LaSak87 · April 2013

Another suggestion for "freshening up"...do you have a big bathtub for two? We had planned on relaxing in the tub after the reception, but there was no stopper so I just jumped in the shower because it was so hot under all the layers. Not the most romantic thing but I felt better knowing that I wasn't sweaty.

ridedatbike · April 2013

Well I planned on my h to undress me so I specifically. Bought mostly sexy only kind of functional under garments. That way he could take My dress off and I was already sexy. Buuuut I was already quite intoxicated before we left then we all decided to go to a karaoke bar so I'm not sure how but I changed by myself into my extra clothes. I wish I could tell you how that happened my dress has like a million buttons.

LDubHawksFan · April 2013

I agree with asking your dress shop. I was worried too when they said it would take 30 mins too corset me in, the lady laughed and said my husband would be able to get me out quick. Just grab the lowest cross and pull; rinse and repeat. My hubby was intimidated at first, but it was easy. I wanted to freshen up and put on something sexy, so I gave him the surprise boudoir album I made for him while he waited then came out in the last "outfit". Seemed to work out well!

SomethingBeautiful08 · April 2013

OP first off, good for you waiting... as someone six months on the other side, for us it was worth it.

Since you've got some time I would suggest you and your FH check out a book called "Sheet Music" it has got some really practical advice expecially since you seem very nervous, which is only natural. It helped DH and I a lot.

To answer your question directly, it depends on your dress but chances are your FH can handle it assuming you know at least in theory how to do it and can give him instructions. Chances are good you won't be able to get into or out of your dress by yourself, at least not completely. I would highly recomend your find a friend who would be willing to go with you to your final fitting to learn how to help you into and out of your dress and how to do the busle, then help out day of.

Peledreamsofrain · April 2013

The best peice of advice I have is to have a sense of humor. If you are all uptight and nervous about looking silly, instead of owning the possibility and laughing while enjoying yourself, that's more of a turnoff. This isn't ballet. Nobody looks amazing doing this stuff.

TKzilla · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-undress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7ca3af6c-6da5-42f3-8b9b-f6cc1e37a80bPost:8d790229-ce9a-470f-9d00-9d8b1eebf83a">Re: how to undress</a>:
[QUOTE]The best peice of advice I have is to have a sense of humor. If you are all uptight and nervous about looking silly, instead of owning the possibility and laughing while enjoying yourself, that's more of a turnoff. <strong>This isn't ballet. Nobody looks amazing doing this stuff.</strong>
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

<div>Pele wins the internet today (again? I think?) Just remember, this is the first of MANY times to come (heh heh)</div>

getaclue44 · April 2013

I was in the same situation. He unzipped me and lifted me out of the gown and gave me time to freshen up. We were giggling the whole time. It is totally worth the wait!

kerbohl · April 2013

It's so cool to hear that so many other brides waited! I can't wait for my wedding night.

SomethingBeautiful, thanks for sharing about that book. It looks like a good read. I'll have to check it out. If anyone else has any other suggestions on good books to read for first-timers, I wouldn't mind . . .

jessilovesdavid · April 2013

Why so harsh? Didn't realuze posts had to meet your approval. May not be rocket science, but it is important to me. If you need to be rude, why not just ignore my post?

Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-undress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7ca3af6c-6da5-42f3-8b9b-f6cc1e37a80bPost:d3f75329-06e8-47da-b3fd-23a737e9a365">Re: how to undress</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to how to undress : Ask your husband to untie your corset/unzip your dress for you. If you want to freshen up, unzip/untie, and walk into the bathroom and freshen up. This is not rocket science.
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

vanityink · April 2013

I actually changed out of my dress towards the end of the reception into something lighter (I managed to get food poisoning the night before our wedding and wasn't fairing too well

) so I had to have help getting out of my dress. Since I had already subjected my BMs to helping me get into it, I managed to grab DH and have him unzip/hook/whatever me before I got a lighter dress on.

I had all sorts of crazy spanx and a long-line bra on which DH actually made a joke about (good that I was getting out of all that now rather than later) but after 1hr30 of sleep the night before and being dehydrated/not being able to keep anything down all day for the wedding, our wedding night was decidedly less than sexy once we went to the hotel room

QueerFemme · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-undress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7ca3af6c-6da5-42f3-8b9b-f6cc1e37a80bPost:c9685b20-7cb9-4d66-83ff-574a3125e7d1">Re: how to undress</a>:
[QUOTE]Why so harsh? Didn't realuze posts had to meet your approval. May not be rocket science, but it is important to me. If you need to be rude, why not just ignore my post? Response to Re: how to undress :
Posted by jessilovesdavid[/QUOTE]

It wasn't rude. And you don't get to tell me how to post or to ignore your posts. You are a grown woman asking a group of internet strangers how to undress yourself on your wedding night. Personally, I find that utterly ridiculous, and I am allowed to say so.

if you don't like it, you are certainly entitled to ignore my advice. You had lots of other people give you unicorns and kittens for advice. Feel free to pay attention to them.

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