dogs in ceremony, what to do after?

dscolorado · January 2012

My FI and I are thinking of having our dog in the ceremony. Not sure what to do with her during the ceremony or the reception. We were thinking of having someone take her to doggy day care during the cocktail hour between the ceremony and reception?

monkeysip · January 2012

You need to think about why you want your dog in the ceremony.

I love my dog to death, but I also know that my dog cannot enjoy being in my ceremony. To the contrary, she would probably be confused, bored, maybe even scared by all of the people, different noises and smells, and being pulled around on a leash to various places.

If you're going to include your dog in your ceremony, it must be a reason beyond the idea of it being cute. It becomes a real hassle figuring out who has to watch the dog during the rest of the ceremony, what to do with the dog afterwards, and making sure the dog has plenty of opportunities for when nature calls.

If I can make the time, I'd like to take a few cute photos with my dog before I head to the church for my wedding, but other than that, she's gotta stay at home. I'm sure she'd rather that.

Simply Fated · January 2012

Who would you get to take the dog to the day care? Please tell me you were going to hire soneobe, because that's a stupid thong to ask a guest to do lol I dunno, I'm not a fan of dogs in ceremonies. I'm not a huge fan of dogs, period. They're cute, but once they bark or drool, I'm done. Just like babies are not props, neither are pets.

melntaitt · January 2012

My pups are a big part of our lives but I can't imagine either of them enjoying walking down the aisle. I can see them actually seeing my FI at the other end of the aisle and start pulling and dragging whoever is holding them.

If you insist, first make sure you don't expect too much of Fido; he doesn't have a clue what's going on so expect him to look a touch bored.

Second, make sure he's had a bathroom break right before the ceremony; the last thing you want is another bill to foot for an "accident."

Lastly, ensure that a responsible family member who knows your dog can take him to a sitter. Be forewarned that your pet will not be impressed at being dragged away from you both after spending time with you...especially if there's people food involved.

Keeping your dog at the reception will likely be a poor choice; your dog will be fed EVERYTHING that your guests can get their hands on.

I hope this clears up what you're asking, but just make sure you do what's best for your pet...

dscolorado · January 2012

Thank you for the input! Our dog is a huge part of our lives, and we have enjoyed getting her as a couple and taking care of her as one. Having said that, I think the "cuteness" and even "specialness" of having her there would be short-lived. I like the idea of photos of her with us as a couple if we are going to include couple photos in the reception decor.

macaso76 · January 2012

We love our dogs!! I we are also questioning the same thing. I think the best answer is to have a pet sitter come and pick up the dog after the ceromony. If your dog is as loved by others in your family like ours then, I am sure you can have someone meet the petsitter once the arrive. Go Dogs!!

Blair1085 · January 2012

There are a few groups that will actually do Doggie Day Care at your event. I know the boarding place where I take my Dog will actually come to the event, help with them during their part, and take care of them after everything is over either on site or they will take them back to the boarder. You may want to look into finding someone like that.

jujub423 · January 2012

Our pug is in our wedding (ringbearer). There really wasn't even a question as to whether he would be or not. He's a huge part of our lives, and all our family members and friends weren't surprised at all when we told them. I don't think it would work with every dog, but Lou has been very well socialized and is used to big groups of people (my parents throw a lot of parties!). The girl who is doing my hair is going to bring him to the wedding, sit with him, and take him back to her house after the ceremony. We both worked at the same veterinary clinic. She was only there for about a month, but we have a lot in common, and our dogs have playdates and get along great. She treats her dog the same way I treat mine, and I have absolutely no worries about her taking care of him.

My 2 nephews are going to walk on either side of Lou (he'll be on a leash), and he'll be on the property for at least an hour before the ceremony starts for pictures and whatnot. We're getting married at a country club, so it works out perfect for our outdoor wedding. He'll be at doggy daycare from 8am until he is brought to the ceremony, he's always way more relaxed when he comes home from there.

As I said before, it depends on your dog and how well you plan. At the very least, he/she could at least be in your pictures.

stephmill26 · January 2012

I love the idea of a dog in the wedding, and plan to have my dog (chihuahua) in ours as well as at the reception. She is like my CHILD so I can't imagine her not being with me. I plan to have her walk the aisle either with the flower girls (my nieces) or the ringbearer (my fiances nephew)... She will be dolled up in a pretty dress (she does not mind being dressed at all)

As far as I am concerned, she can come in the limo with us when we leave and be in all the pics, and sit by us at the reception! I will bring along some doggie friendly wedding cake too!

But I have to work out the details of course of where she will go afterward. She won't be at the reception for the long haul most likely, because it will be too busy, so she might skip the reception and stay home, depending on the help I can get...

I think the idea of a petsitter or close family member taking him/her after the wedding is a great idea.

KellyBrian2013 · January 2012

*head-desk*

I give up with these threads, seriously. My new answer:

Do whatever the eff you want and screw your dog's safety and comfort. Your pictures and a cute "aww" moment is way more important than insuring that your dog is comfortable, happy, and unstressed. Nevermind if he pees or poops on something. Nevermind if he is panting or drooling because he's uncomfortable. Nevermind if he bites or scratches someone because he's scared or startled by large crowds, unfamiliar people, or a strange place (or all of the above). Nevermind if he knocks over and/or drags the child you've charged with walking him. Nevermind if he is startled and gets loose - maybe you'll get some cute photos of your BMs in their heels trying to catch him. Nevermind if he injures himself because he has jumped out of a BMs arms or out of the wagon you've placed him in. Nevermind guests with allergies or fears of animals.

Yeah - your pictures are WAY more important than considering any of that.

jujub423 · January 2012

Kelly, did you ever think that maybe people know their own dogs eough to make an educated decision? Granted, there are a lot of people out there who shouldn't own pets because they only see them as objects and not family members, but FI and I love our dog, he is part of the family, and I would never put him in a situation where I feel he would be uncomfortable. The only situation that Lou is uncomfortable in is anytime he's alone, or in his crate--he hates it. But he loves people, he will know 80% of the people there, and I've talked to a behaviorist and a trainer that my place of employment works with and they feel he will do fine. He has come to work with me since he was a puppy, so he's used to all sorts of dogs and people, cats/birds/rabbits, you name it, he's been exposed to it. I see fearful dogs come into my work all the time, their owners never socialized them or trained them right, and those types of dogs obviously would not do well in a wedding.

It has been done before, it will continue to be done, and I personally have never heard of anyone who had their dog in their wedding and regretted it, because they wouldnt have put their dog in that situation knowing he/she wouldn't do well. Like I said in my PP, it depends on the dog. My dog has never bitten or scratched a perosn, he's never knocked down any of my neices and nephews (even when they were the same size as him), and he isn't startled by large crowds....I'm positive he will do just fine.

KellyBrian2013 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_dogs-ceremony-after?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:4b155f87-dad0-4d0d-adcd-d83d9028ad00Post:aa2f420a-ec00-4146-a434-204178081022">Re: dogs in ceremony, what to do after?</a>:
[QUOTE]Kelly, did you ever think that maybe people know their own dogs eough to make an educated decision? Granted, there are a lot of people out there who shouldn't own pets because they only see them as objects and not family members, but FI and I love our dog, he is part of the family, and I would never put him in a situation where I feel he would be uncomfortable. The only situation that Lou is uncomfortable in is anytime he's alone, or in his crate--he hates it. But he loves people, he will know 80% of the people there, and I've talked to a behaviorist and a trainer that my place of employment works with and they feel he will do fine. He has come to work with me since he was a puppy, so he's used to all sorts of dogs and people, cats/birds/rabbits, you name it, he's been exposed to it. I see fearful dogs come into my work all the time, their owners never socialized them or trained them right, and those types of dogs obviously would not do well in a wedding. It has been done before, it will continue to be done, and I personally have never heard of anyone who had their dog in their wedding and regretted it, because they wouldnt have put their dog in that situation knowing he/she wouldn't do well. Like I said in my PP, it depends on the dog. My dog has never bitten or scratched a perosn, he's never knocked down any of my neices and nephews (even when they were the same size as him), and he isn't startled by large crowds....I'm positive he will do just fine.
Posted by jujub423[/QUOTE]

That sad reality is that many people DON'T CARE about considering the above. They want Fluffy involved regardless of logistics, regardless of the dog's comfort, and regardless of the comfort of their guests.

I see that your wedding is in June. Might I ask if you are having an outdoor ceremony? Because I certainly wouldn't expect my Pugs to be comfortable outdoors in the Midwest in the middle of the summer surrounded by a large group of people for the length of wedding ceremony... and my Pugs are used to being shown year-long.

The reality is that a wedding is not just another party or big event where the dogs will be allowed to mingle - how they tend to be most comfortable in crowds.

Also: does your venue allow dogs? Many won't. Do you know how *every.single.one* of your guests feels about dogs? Do you know if any of your guests have allergies? Or fears? As cute and cuddly (and seemingly harmless) a Pug can be, the fact that they snort or make odd noises often frightens pepole - too often I am asked if mine are growling or if they are "mad". A lot of people don't know the natural noises Pugs make.

The reality is - your dog, if he does well, is likely the exception to the rule. The majority of people posting on these boards do not have animals that are incredibly well trained (complete with consistent sits, reliable recalls, etc.) and socialized. A dog that is socialized to do well in the home is not always socialized well enough to handle an event like a wedding.

I've said it in previous posts, and I'll say it in this one: I have trained and shown dogs in conformation and competitive obedience. Even my most solid competition dog, I wouldn't involve in our wedding. Why? Because it is simply not fair to HIM because too much can go wrong.

jujub423 · January 2012

If the forecast shows it will likely be humid on my wedding day, then Lou won't be there--hence why my nephews are walking with him--we'll still have a ringbearer(s) even if Lou can't make it. I know all of our guests pretty well, we're only having 90-100 people at the wedding. Most of my family and friends are animal lovers, so they've met Lou before or have animals of their own. I do have a friend who is deathly allergic of guinea pigs (who knew?), but he does fine with dogs, and has one of his own. Louie isn't a fat pug, he actually doesn't snort or make the normal sounds that pugs make (although he will howl when he hears sirens and stuff). He goes disc golfing with my FI and his friends and loves it-as long as it's not too hot--I've seen a few dogs die of heatstroke, and it's awful. He is SO important to me, I couldn't stand for anything to happen to him. FI and I don't plan on having kids, so he and our cat are just as important to us as children are to parents.

I was worried our venue wouldn't allow dogs, but when my mom and I went to check out the venue for the first time, one of the employees had a black lab with him on a golf cart, so I asked and they said it was fine outside, just not inside.

I understand where you are coming from, I do. But saying that it's completely a bad idea for anybody who wants to do it isn't really fair. If you're a responsible owner, you know your pet, you know their breed and it's restrictions, etc, then I think it can happen. But I agree--if someone is just doing it to be "cute" and are doing it without knowing how their dog does in social situations, then yes--definitely a bad idea. I don't recommend it for everybody, but I feel it can be possible.

ETA: I've actually wondered about Lou sometimes, because he's not as short and stocky as most pugs--he's got longer legs, and not a ton of neck fat. I always contributed him not making the normal noises to his weight, but I don't know. He definitely looks like a pug though, and I have all is papers and stuff. But most of the pugs that I see are overweight. This is Lou

KellyBrian2013 · January 2012

You are one of the few people who seems to take the multitude of factors into consideration. Many people, frankly, don't care. They want Fluffy involved and they don't care if it means chaining him to a wagon or forcing a guest to take him home between ceremony & reception.

Is it bad in EVERY case for a dog to be involved? No. Of course not. Clearly there are dogs that are capable of functioning at an event like a wedding (or else people with service dogs would be in a lot of trouble). But the reality is that the majority of pets do not have the training or socialization necessary for them to be comfortable and cooperative.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_dogs-ceremony-after?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:4b155f87-dad0-4d0d-adcd-d83d9028ad00Post:3705d1b4-a861-4cf7-b454-8ab4bfd6e220">Re: dogs in ceremony, what to do after?</a>:
[QUOTE] ETA: I've actually wondered about Lou sometimes, because he's not as short and stocky as most pugs--he's got longer legs, and not a ton of neck fat. I always contributed him not making the normal noises to his weight, but I don't know. He definitely looks like a pug though, and I have all is papers and stuff. But most of the pugs that I see are overweight. This is Lou
Posted by jujub423[/QUOTE]

I hope you don't take offense to this because I don't mean it in an offensive way, but while he is definitely a cutie, Lou looks like a typical backyard-bred Pug. "Papers" don't really mean much if the breeder isn't breeding with temperament, structure, and health in mind (and I do mean *all 3*... a dog with a great temperament and poor health is no better for breed than a dog with a poor temperament and great health). "Papers" also depends on the registry, as there are quite a few disreputable registries around that, so long as you pay your $$, they don't require any proof of parentage. He looks purebred to me, just not of any conformation stock... what a cute face!

jujub423 · January 2012

aw thanks! When I went to go look at him, my boss told me all the things to look for, don't get a puppy if he has this, if you can't see the parents, etc. Then she looked at me and said "I'll see you at work tomorrow with your new puppy"

She knows me too well. When I went to see him, I wasn't able to actually see the parents but I did see a picture of them. Lou had only 1 descended testicle, demodex mites, and a luxating patella. I knew he was mine though from the first moment I saw him

There was only 1 littermate left and he looked way different than Lou, bigger and a shorter haircoat.

I figured, who better to have a dog with problems than a vet tech? LOL. He's obviously since been neutered, extra testicle and all. Knee fixed via surgery, mites gone. I kow what you mean by the "papers" thing. I'm pretty sure the "breeder" I got him from was a back-yard breeder. Lou has a great personality, but then again, what pug doesn't? I LOVE the pic of your pug running through the snow--he/she definitely has the body type I have in mind when I think of how a pug should look. My mom calls Lou "Long Leg Lou"

Do you breed? or just show? FI wants another one once we get married, but we've been thinking about getting one from a rescue.

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