April 2014 Weddings

Question about receptions....

I've tried googling my question but none of the answers fit my situation really. I've read the two "receptions" thing is tacky and whatnot. We are doing a church ceremony at the church we both attend and that my fiance grew up in and I'm highly involved in. We want to do an open invite for our church family and all other guests for the ceremony and then have a cakecutting immediately following and then after pictures do an actual reception elsewhere for our personally invited guests. Our church doesn't allow dancing and most of our church family is elders who would want to watch members wed but not the fun party afterwards. Would this be acceptable or is it just like all other two receptions?

Re: Question about receptions....

  • I would perceive it as two receptions.  Whoever is invited to the ceremony needs to be invited to the reception, unless you are truly having a small and intimate ceremony with just immediate family, but it sounds like you are inviting all of the Church congregation to the ceremony.  You essentially can't stop anyone from attending the ceremony, especially if they are members of the Church, but I personally don't think that you should have a little party after Church for the Church members.
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  • Sometimes I hate a phone doubling as a computer. Basically what we are thinking about is the first one would be for everyone invited to the ceremony not just church members. The after party would also be for all personally invited but would be offsite for those who don't approve. I'm not sure I'm making a lot of sense though.
  • I think this is still the same as two receptions, as the PP mentioned.

    What I think might work though, is because anyone is invited to the ceremony (since it's in a public church), is that you can verbally tell the elders and whatnot when the ceremony is.  If they want to see you married, they will come.

    I think I'd skip the cake cutting.  You maybe could do something like "punch and cookies are being served in the alcove" or something?  I dunno.  We always had donuts and coffee after mass when I went to a catholic church in FL.

    That's probably not 100% proper etiquette, but seems like a better compromise than "just cake"
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  • SlothGoalsSlothGoals member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited April 2013
    I would just put a Marriage Notice in the church bulletin. If people see it and want to attend then they will since churches are public spaces.

    Only invite (verbally or by written invitation) people you are going to host at your reception. Be careful with telling people verbally when the ceremony is because technically that is an invitation and they would need to be hosted properly.
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