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October 2013 Weddings
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RSVP advice

SewInLoveWithDMBSewInLoveWithDMB member
1000 Comments 250 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
in October 2013 Weddings
I come from a formal family that would write a note on stationery to rsvp to a wedding.

All of the weddings to which I have been invited have included a "card" to check a yes/no box and write your name (and sometimes meal option, but our venue will take orders tableside.)

I know for a fact that in the past, FI's family have not always returned rsvp cards. Heck, FI forgets to do it all the time, and generally the bride will contact me on fb asking if we are coming. 

I was originally thinking of just a card that said "rsvp by whatever date" and then having each person write a message - sorta a blend of the traditional "write your own" and the more common "here is your card" approaches. Both my sister and mom thought that would confuse people even more. (Ah!)

So, what do I do? I was talking to my mom and sister, and they said doing a postage-paid card/card in an envelope is fine, but don't expect to get responses on time - no matter what you do. We just have to come to the realization that people do get to be lazy.

I don't want to include nothing, the traditional formal way, cause I don't want people to complain that I "forgot to put in an rsvp card." 

I was wondering - can I do a reception card, and then include an email address for rsvp responses? Our wedding is traditional, and I would even say "formal," but the ceremony is at 11 am. So, by default, it is not as "formal" as an evening wedding. I know that everyone on my side has access to email (even my 86 year old great aunt). On FI's side, even if some don't have email (elderly relatives), they are close enough for a phone call/conversation at a family event. 

I guess I just figure if people aren't going to respond anyway, I would just be more frustrated if I did the cards, applied the postage, and then still didn't hear.

We need a head count for our venue. We also have to give table numbers to each guest a few days before the reception.  So, Thoughts?


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image 293 (Adults) Invited
image198 Yes (+ 12 children and 3 babies)
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Re: RSVP advice

  • Xandy417Xandy417 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    In my opinion you will be more likely to get responses of you include a rsvp card. There are a lot of people who are disinclined to use the internet to rsvp and it is easier to forget if there is no card and envelope sitting in front of the invitee. Many older people might not be able to rsvp by email and may not remember or think it would be alright to send you a note.
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  • Ro041Ro041 member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I think you should keep it simple and do an RSVP card.  It's what people expect.  

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  • libby18belllibby18bell member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Answer
    SewInLove I would recommend something self addressed personally.  Email can be tricky, for instance we've sent 3 emails to our priest and he hasn't gotten any of them, FI had to finally send him an email via his work email.  Just don't want you to get the bad luck that something happens with email.
    Report Reply
  • 09McSteph0309McSteph03 member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I vote no to email as well. 
    S'mores. Just S'mores please.
    Report Reply
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