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Need Help!! Invite Etiquette

futuremrsmalena13futuremrsmalena13 member
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in Wedding Invitations & Paper
My fiancé and I are having a small intimate wedding of 35 people and I keep getting mixed feelings from people I talk to about whether or not to invite people to the shower that aren't invited to the wedding? Is there really an etiquette anymore, or a right or wrong way to do things when it comes to inviting people? I would really love some feedback!
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Re: Need Help!! Invite Etiquette

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    ohmrs2014ohmrs2014 mod
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    Who ever is invited to the shower needs to be invited to the wedding.  I would be highly offended if I was invited to the shower and not the wedding.  Its like saying I was good enough to get a gift from but not good enough to celebrate your marriage with.  It looks very gift-grabby.
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    libby2483libby2483 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    Yes, there is still an etiquette rule about this: anyone who is invited to the shower must be invited to the wedding.  One drawback of having a small wedding is also having a small shower (if one is offered).  Inviting guests to the shower who are not invited to the wedding looks gift grabby.
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    meg2marryshanemeg2marryshane member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    Totally agree with PPs.
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    misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    Only people invited to the wedding should be invited. You can't celebrate pre-wedding parties if you're not even invited to the wedding. 
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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Would you like to be invited to bring someone a gift but not invited to the reason you were giving the gift? Of course not.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    It's very rude and hurtful to invite people to the shower that aren't invited to the wedding.  

    Your shower should be limited to your nearest and dearest anyway.  It would be pretty surprising that someone that close wouldn't be a must invite for the wedding.
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    If you invite anyone to the shower, they must also be invited to the wedding.  Otherwise, you're saying to them, "We don't care enough about you to want your presence when we celebrate the occasion we're asking you to give us a gift for."   That's very rude and ungracious.
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