How to find a priest for destination wedding?

Re: How to find a priest for destination wedding?

• agapecarrie member

  

  April 2013 edited April 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_how-to-find-a-priest-for-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:1084a9e3-5246-40a2-8507-49fa1d9e2a1bPost:45993ec8-bc2c-437f-b979-29ab7477164c">How to find a priest for destination wedding?</a>:
  [QUOTE]Hi all... hoping you could lend some advice.  We found the most beautiful church for our destination wedding, and booked the earliest date available, 14 months before the wedding.  Our problem is that the church won't provide an officiant for the wedding, and our family priest is too far away / too old to travel.  Any advice for finding an officiant?  We've been calling the church every few weeks to check whether anyone is available, and the wedding coordinator won't give us their names to contact them. thanks for any advice!
  Posted by hazelstardust[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>I'm surprised you were allowed to book a Catholic church for a destination wedding, as it doesn't really fit with the understanding of the sacrament.It's been done before, but usually not allowed for the purpose of "destination wedding". </div><div>
  </div><div>Most priests won't do destination weddings, it takes them out of their parish (weekend masses and other responsibilities) and because they are meant to be the official witness of the church, that is the parish they are assigned. There is also the added issues of getting faculties to perform sacraments in other dioceses/countries. </div><div>
  </div><div>It's also much beyond an "officient". You have to do marriage discernment/preparation as well.</div>

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• Tami87 member

  

  April 2013

  We got married in my husband's hometown which was kind of a destination for us since we had to travel by plane. But the reason we picked that location wasn't just to have a destination wedding, but to try to make it so the least amount of guests would have to travel and to pick a location that our grandparents would be able to attend. Because H hadn't lived there in 7 years we didn't really have any ties to a parish. We could have tried to get married in H's parents parish but H's family is not a big fan of the new priest there so we ended up in a historic church where you did not have to be a member but they also asked us to bring in our own priest.
  
  We asked the priest that H grew up with (H was baptised by him and used to be an altar server) to marry us. It wasn't more than an hour for him to travel since he had been moved to another parish not too far away. We also did marriage prep with him and had to travel to H's hometown for a few meetings (thankfully he was very flexible with scheduling).
  
  Do you know any other priests close to the area that you are getting married? Do you or your FI's family have any close friends or relatives who are priests? I agree with Carrie that it is a lot to ask of a priest to travel for a wedding and I don't think it is something they are likely to agree to unless you are a relative or close family friend. If you do find a priest willing to travel you should also definitely pay for them to do so.

  

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• Calypso1977 member

  

  April 2013

  is this a catholic church you are marrying in?  if so, i find it very odd that the parish priest there cant perform the ceremony?  is this location within the united states?  if so, try calling the diocese and maybe you can find a parish priest within the diocese.
  
  if it is not a catholic church, but rather some sort of non denominational chapel, then you may have immense difficulties finding a priest.
  
  i would be working on a backup plan that has you doing your wedding locally, and perhaps honeymooning at the destination location.
  
  

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• bibliophile2010 member

  

  April 2013

  While I've certainly heard of "bring your own priest" situations, these chapels, in my experience, are either school or historical chapels that don't have a regular parish staff.
  
  I would suggest contacting parishes local to the destination to see if anyone might be willing to work with you. Like Calypso said, I would also start making back-up plans. I don't personally agree with Catholic destination weddings, but I know people who have sucessfully done it outside of the country with a wedding coordinator who helps navigate the situation.
  
  Finally, I would contact your local parish and start making arrangements for marriage prep, at the very least, since you are going to have to do it, regardless of what other plans you make. I also need to put in my plug for a full course in natural family planning here.

  

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• MizLizz member

  

  April 2013

  You might want to check with the Office for the Vicar of Clergy in the diocese where your wedding will be held. The Clergy Office might be able to find you a  priest no longer in active ministry (retired, in other words) who could be available to perform the wedding.

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