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April 2013 Weddings

Help

So there is a long story with this but I need help and we are down to the wire getting married on the 27th. My fianc's parents are divorced. The mom stayed out of his life for 14 years and just popped up when we got engaged. She has talked to him twice in those 14 years. My fianc's grandma has basically taken care of him. He moved in with her when his dad was into alcohol. He has now rekindled his relationship with his dad and step mom. He doesn't want to offend his mom with this wedding and I can't stand his mom and think she shouldn't be offended since she hasn't been in his life and couldn't acknowledge me when I met her. Basically the problem is I think he should do mother son dance with his grandma but he thinks that will offend his mom. Also we don't know how to do the receiving line if we have his step mom in there and mom or if we leave his step mom out. His real mom knows nothing about our wedding except the day and time. She hasn't asked questions or done anything. She even ignore the bridal shower invite from her daughter my future sister in law. I didn't put her in the invite. I just don't know what to do with the whole mom step mom and grandma being a mom thing. Any help or suggestions? Thank you!!

Re: Help

  • From what I am reading I would say do the dance with the Grandma and put the Step Mom in the receiving line.

    If he hasn't spent much time with his mom and their relationship is new it could always change.  He is probably optimistic about it working out and so he is worried about her feelings.  I would tell him that this is for the people who raised you and it would hurt his grandmother more.
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  • I agree with PP.

    Also, do you HAVE to do a receiving line? You and your FI could just go around to each table to greet everyone and that would save you from worrying about that. For the dance, if you are having it announced have them say something like "Now it's time for the grandmother - grandson dance" so you won't have his mother wandering up to the dance floor.
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  • We don't have to have a receiving line. I actually didn't think about going table to table. I like that idea. Thank you for the comments. I just need to sit him down and say hey this needs to be done today since we have to turn in dj stuff and make programs. Would you put her in the program?
  • I agree with PP. I would not put her in the program, personally. Your FI could always make it a point to dance with his mom, at some point, but not have it be announced like the other special dances. I don't think the mother should have any expectations about being a special part or focal point in the wedding considering their history. 
  • You don't even need programs!! We are not doing them!
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