The "P" Word

Re: The "P" Word

• Elle1036 member

  

  November 2010

  Talk of prenups makes me a little uneasy in general, but they do make good sense a lot of the time.
  
  I think it's unfair of you to refuse to sign it altogether, but it's unfair of him to force it completely, as well.  The two of you need to work together (with your attorneys as well) to come to an agreement that you are both comfortable with.
  
  Tell him that you have problems with certain parts of it and want to discuss it formally.  Just be an adult about it and don't act like a gold-digger, and he'll have no reason to call of the engagement.
  

  Report0 Reply
• sprtychick10

  

  November 2010

  I agree with the PP. Have a meeting with both of your lawyers present, find some middle ground and call it day.

  
  June 2012 December Siggy Challenge: Favorite Things about Christmas
  
  Planning Bio Updated 10/24/2011

  Report0 Reply
• betti_page

  

  November 2010

  First off...Congrats! I got engaged ON thanksgiving.. so yeah for us! But onto topic.. is it just certain clauses in the prenup that arent working for you? Pre-nups are so not romantic, as you said, but if its what he really wants you need to talk about it. Perhaps you can sit down together with a lawyer and come up with a new aggreement? As for calling it off, I would really and truly hope not, but i dont know him like you do. I would just try and explain to him what exactly about it you dont like and ask what he is willing to change to make you feel more comfortable with signing it. Good luck!

  Report0 Reply
• redheadfsu member

  

  November 2010

  If he or you have assets and/or own a business a preup is a smart decision. Really smart.  You need to both have an independent family law lawyer (not just a lawyer you work with, make sure they do family law) review it before you think of signing. A prenup is not a bad thing, it protects you both. Just make sure it is normal/ fair.

  Planning Bio
  Married 9/15/11

  
  *This is Not Legal Advice*

  Report0 Reply
• tldh member

  

  November 2010

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_p-word?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:711d5c67-9309-4ff4-b3df-e8cea9f4e616Post:004fafc3-2798-4277-8f4f-b6fb1512eb82">Re: The "P" Word</a>:
  [QUOTE]If he or you have assets and/or own a business a preup is a smart decision. Really smart.  You need to both have an independent family law lawyer (not just a lawyer you work with, make sure they do family law) review it before you think of signing. A prenup is not a bad thing, it protects you both. Just make sure it is normal/ fair.
  Posted by redheadfsu[/QUOTE]
  
  Redhead beat me to it.  Ask the partners at your firm to recommend a good family law attorney.  Let the attorneys hash it out and don't get involved in the negotiations yourself - let your attorney speak for you at all times.  This is the only way to keep it from becoming personal.

  
  AKA GoodLuckBear14

  Report0 Reply
• vixey member

  

  December 2010

  First off - Congrats! 
  
  Is the prenup actually unfair to you?  I mean if he is the only one with assets entering into the marriage, it makes sense that he would want to keep those assets if you divorce.  But if it's unfair regarding assets you acquire during marriage, then that would be unfair.
  
  Definitely consult with a family lawyer before making any rash decisions about signing or not signing.
  

  

  Report0 Reply
• burgueno86 member

  

  December 2010

  ***UPDATE*** Last time when I wrote this i was so sad over the idea of a prenuptual agreement, well after some talk, hugs and tears (from me) we came to the realization that we don not need a prenup if we plan to stay together forever and since that is what marriage means to us then we don't need one!!! yeay! I am so happy that I now can move on to happier subjects such as a destination wedding...Thank you all for your kind words and advice :-)

  Report0 Reply