Pre-wedding Parties

What in the World Would This Party Be Called?!

Hi!  I'm recently engaged and this is my first time planning a wedding.  My fiance' and I are getting married several hours away, at a very special place.  We're lucky enough to be able to have close family and friends attend.  Sparing a lot of details, just trust me this is the best decision.
Saying that, there are a lot of family/friends/coworkers that would have preferred us get married at home.  We're not traditional people, so we're not having seperate bachlorette, etc parties.  Also not everyone could be invited to the actual ceremony for various reasons. We thought of having a reception at home after the wedding, but it seems a bit too much and probably won't happen. We are going to have "insert politically correct title here" party, typical of a shower, but sort of a pre-wedding celebration with hints of showers, reception, etc to allow all those who love us to participate and be a part of our wedding 'festivities'.  There are so many names, what is the proper title for this occasion?
As many would argue poor etiquette in doing a registry for this occasion, it's inevitable that we'll get gifts, and fun to do a registry anyway.  Any ideas, especially a "title" would be greatly appreciated! Embarassed

Re: What in the World Would This Party Be Called?!

  • In Response to Re:What in the World Would This Party Be Called?!:[QUOTE]Hi!nbsp; I'm recently engaged and this is my first time planning a wedding.nbsp; My fiance' and I are getting married several hours away, at a very special place.nbsp; We're lucky enough to be able to have close family and friends attend.nbsp; Sparing a lot of details, just trust me this is the best decision.Saying that, there are a lot of family/friends/coworkers that would have preferred us get married at home.nbsp; We're not traditional people, so we're not having seperate bachlorette, etc parties.nbsp; Also not everyone could be invited to the actual ceremony for various reasons. We thought of having a reception at home after the wedding, but it seems a bit too much and probably won't happen. We are going to have "insert politically correct title here" party, typical of a shower, but sort of a prewedding celebration with hints of showers, reception, etc to allow all those who love us to participate and be a part of our wedding 'festivities'.nbsp; There are so many names, what is the proper title for this occasion?As many would argue poor etiquette in doing a registry for this occasion, it's inevitable that we'll get gifts, and fun to do a registry anyway.nbsp; Any ideas, especially a "title" would be greatly appreciated! Posted by bljanise[/QUOTE]

    You can't invite people to any prewedding events, regardless of the title, if they are not invited to the actual wedding.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary 
  • That sounds super fun!  You should call it a Pre-Gettin' Hitched Hootenanny! Smile
    Any fool can make a rule,and any fool will mind it. ~Thoreau photo specialdaygif_zpsac5730d3.gif
  • Why can't you just host a BBQ/dinner party/get-together at your house for a bunch of friends and family that you want to see and not make it about the wedding? People invited to pre-wedding events need also be invited to the actual wedding. Plus it would be improper to throw your own shower, and you said this would be shower-like.

    Another option is to throw a party AFTER your wedding, again not making it wedding-related but just getting together with people you want to see. If they ask to see wedding pics, you can of course show it to them, but don't make it a second reception or anything like that.


    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Vacation
  • bljanisebljanise member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited April 2013
    Thanks but my fiance has over 100 family members, his greatgrandparents are still alive, they could never make it to where we are going. We're not having all the bachlor/bridal shower stuff. Plus we know our family and friends are buying us gifts. Thanks anyway!
  • My aunt got married in a destination wedding last year and she had a "preception" in which she invited all of her friends, even though only family was invited to the destination. She wore a wedding dress and they cut cake, but I think it would be fine if the party was much less formal. I would call it a reception and even mention that it's casual.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_what-in-the-world-would-this-party-be-called?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:ee1d47cd-9d3a-4630-8752-4d4c22c71aa0Post:5adc542e-fa13-4c7f-b6e8-59a80142a275">Re:What in the World Would This Party Be Called?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks but my fiance has over 100 family members, his greatgrandparents are still alive, they could never make it to where we are going. We're not having all the bachlor/bridal shower stuff. Plus we know our family and friends are buying us gifts. Thanks anyway!
    Posted by bljanise[/QUOTE]

    You're talking about a consolation prize party. To me you're telling the family that they're not important enough for you to plan a wedding that they can attend, but important enough to give you a gift. You can send announcements to the hundred immediately, like posted the day after the wedding. Then you can send a party invitation the following week. The party can't be in your honor if you're hosting. You can just call it a party.
  • So...... if I were on this list, you'd invite me to give you gifts, then tell me to shoo because it would be too much trouble to have me come to your wedding?

    Gift Grab would be an accurate title here.  Fair warning, people are not going to recieve these invites well.  Watch the etiquette boards, these types of invites get posted about all the time by the recipients.  In fact, there's one up there today.  The girl is NOT happy.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

    image

    Anniversary

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_what-in-the-world-would-this-party-be-called?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:ee1d47cd-9d3a-4630-8752-4d4c22c71aa0Post:5adc542e-fa13-4c7f-b6e8-59a80142a275">Re:What in the World Would This Party Be Called?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks but my fiance has over 100 family members, his greatgrandparents are still alive,<strong> they could never make it to where we are going. </strong>We're not having all the bachlor/bridal shower stuff. Plus we know our family and friends are buying us gifts. Thanks anyway!
    Posted by bljanise[/QUOTE]

    <div>I would much rather get an invite and decline than have the decision made for me.</div>
  • Ok, so since we don't know all the details and aren't in your shoes I think it's hard for us to judge if it's rude or not for you to invite people to a shower/reception but not a wedding.  You've hinted that you have a situation that isn't common and that people know you do things in a more non-traditional manner.

    I would stay FAR away from the word "shower" since it necessitates a gift.  Let those who want to give you gifts give them, but don't put any pressure on it.  I wouldn't even mention where you are registered in the actual invite.  Let people ask you if they want to get you a gift.

    I'm not sure exactly what to call it, but maybe something like:

    "_________ and __________ would like to invite you to a party to celebrate their love and upcoming marriage"

    Keep it casual and fun and let people know that the reason you are having this party is because you care about them and want to celebrate your wedding with them in some way even it it's not exactly at your wedding.
  • I am having the same issue. My fiancé has a large family on his fathers side who passed away 10 years ago. We have a small venue and cannot invite everyone from his fathers side. We do not want to make his fathers side seem ostracized because his father is no longer with us but we can't invite just a few either. His fathers side family reunion is in town this summer and we wanted to invite all to celebrate with us now even though we are not getting married until next summer. We don't need gifts. My future mother-in-law in hosting it. Some of these people will not be invited to our wedding but we thought it would be important for them to have a chance to meet us. (Yes the family is so large that some of these people we have never met). We have to do it before the wedding becuase they will all be in town this year for the reunion so after the wedding isout. We want to honor his father and his side of the family without having 300 people at our wedding. 1. What should we call this? 2. Is this really as bad of an idea as you are all claiming it to be?
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards