what to do

raven&mark · April 2013

So, I just got in contact with one of my childhood friends. We have been knowing each other for years, practically all our lives, we lived on the same street growing up. Well I guess she ran into my son's father who I don't even speak to and asked for my number. Well he doesn't have my number so she gave him her number and he text my sons phone abs told him to give me the number. We havent talked in about 3 years. We have never once fell out in all our years of friendship. Anyhow, I call her a few days ago and the first thing she says us "I didn't miss the wedding did I". So I'm telling her everything that has went on in the planning process, who I have fallen out with along the way, and all the other nooks and crannies. She she was so excited doe me. When we got off the phone, I told fiance that she sounded lile she.wanted to.telle something but couldn't get ot out. A couple hours later I get a text that says "hey sis I just want u to know I am so happy for you but sad at the same time. I always wanted to be a part of your wedding and be by your side through all the planning and the stressful times. I know you have your wedding party already picked but I want to be a part of your wedding. I don't have to be a BM or MOH but I want to be there for you" What do I do? I really wanted the wedding party to be even. I already have someone singing. I really want her to be there. I was thinking she could just walk down by herself but my maid and matron if honor are walking down alone. Wat can I do? I feel bad right now

tirathemrs · April 2013

WOOOW, my thing is thats really nice that you two are able to talk after all this time and im sure she is very genuine in wanting to be there for you but i wouldnt change my wedding party now that you two have talked...i would have to tell her unfortunately i have already got my party together but (if money permits) id like for you to be there as maybe a lady in waiting like to help you get dressed and be there for you if u need anything (ie: mints, tissue, emergency kinda stuff) kinda like a honorary moh but not walking down the aisle...or she could be there as the person that does the mc-ing for the reception or even to be your wedding day assistant....HTH at least thats just what i would do...adding someone this late in the game is gonna be costly because she has to get a dress, you have to get her a bouquet, you have to get another guy to walk her down the aisle so forth and so on....again i HTH

ichoosethesun · April 2013

I agree....not sure this warrants creating a role for her especially since you don't seem that keen on it. I would think an invitation as a guest should suffice.

LeciaB · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_what-to-do-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:f7e8950a-f08c-4073-9fd1-3ca567f470e4Post:c1ce8f98-47c7-41ea-b129-826ac3e7c22c">Re: what to do</a>:
[QUOTE]WOOOW, my thing is thats really nice that you two are able to talk after all this time and im sure she is very genuine in wanting to be there for you but i wouldnt change my wedding party now that you two have talked...i would have to tell her unfortunately i have already got my party together but (if money permits) id like for you to be there as maybe a lady in waiting like to help you get dressed and be there for you if u need anything (ie: mints, tissue, emergency kinda stuff) kinda like a honorary moh but not walking down the aisle...or she could be there as the person that does the mc-ing for the reception or even to be your wedding day assistant....HTH at least thats just what i would do...adding someone this late in the game is gonna be costly because she has to get a dress, you have to get her a bouquet, you have to get another guy to walk her down the aisle so forth and so on....again i HTH
Posted by misstira[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>This...I also feel that she is sincere but things have already been put into place.. could she maybe be a hostess or something like that.. I think the lady in waiting might be the best thing but be careful I wouldnt want her to over step her boundries and try and take the role of the moh </div>

MrsBad13 · April 2013

I agree with Tira. That's another BMs gift to buy as well. I would hope she would understand. Stand strong and don't bend on what you can have her to do for you.

shaygray88 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_what-to-do-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:f7e8950a-f08c-4073-9fd1-3ca567f470e4Post:c1ce8f98-47c7-41ea-b129-826ac3e7c22c">Re: what to do</a>:
[QUOTE]WOOOW, my thing is thats really nice that you two are able to talk after all this time and im sure she is very genuine in wanting to be there for you but i wouldnt change my wedding party now that you two have talked...i would have to tell her unfortunately i have already got my party together but (if money permits) id like for you to be there as maybe a lady in waiting like to help you get dressed and be there for you if u need anything (ie: mints, tissue, emergency kinda stuff) kinda like a honorary moh but not walking down the aisle...or she could be there as the person that does the mc-ing for the reception or even to be your wedding day assistant....HTH at least thats just what i would do...adding someone this late in the game is gonna be costly because she has to get a dress, you have to get her a bouquet, you have to get another guy to walk her down the aisle so forth and so on....again i HTH

This!
Posted by misstira[/QUOTE]

rowenac82 · April 2013

Not sure if you have heard of a "lady in waiting" or would like one but maybe that's something that she might be interested in doing.

raven&mark · April 2013

In Response to Re:what to do:[QUOTE]Not sure if you have heard of a quot;lady in waitingquot; or would like one but maybe that's something that she might be interested in doing.nbsp; Posted by rowenac82[/QUOTE]I hope I don't sound lame but I've never heard of this. What would she be doing?

M1ssJ · April 2013

Sounds like the perfect hostess

rowenac82 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_what-to-do-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:f7e8950a-f08c-4073-9fd1-3ca567f470e4Post:acc6c8ae-6c5e-4d31-a7ca-9cf7a4dea3ce">Re: what to do</a>:
[QUOTE]Sounds like the perfect hostess
Posted by M1ssJ[/QUOTE]

<div>This also.</div><div>
</div><div>Here's the definition of Lady in Waiting...<a href="http://www.moments-and-memories.net/LadyInWaiting.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.moments-and-memories.net/LadyInWaiting.html</a></div><div>
</div><div>To be honest something like above, it might be better if someone volunteered rather than you asked. </div>

aquari0216 · April 2013

Hostess.....help you get dress....thats it....otherwise she can just enjoy being there...

CreoleBride30 · April 2013

There are several different titles you can give her to where she won't be walking down the aisle, but be a part of your big day instead of just being a guest.

1. She can be a hostess or even a head hostess if you have others. As hostess, she can help pass out programs, seat people for the wedding and/or reception.

2. She can also be the recpetion "mistress of ceremony" but a better name for it...she can announce certain things during the reception.

3. She can simply be put on your reception program as life long friend of bride and she can do the toast or a simple short speech. It does not have to be the MOH or BM to do this.

4. She can also be a bridal attendant. This person helps the bride get dressed and tend to anything the bride needs.

Cha

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