Stepping on the Glass

RWolff · February 2013

Hi ladies!

I have an unusual question. I am Jewish, as are both my parents. I was never bat mitzvah'd, but my younger sister was. We do not follow the faith strictly, but culturally we all identify as Jewish. My FI is not, and we are not having a religious ceremony.

However, I would like to incorporate some element of my background into our wedding. After researching some meanings and traditions, I think I would like to have a portion of the ceremony in which the glass is stepped on and the meaning explained. My question is, would it be inappropriate for any reason for ME to be the one to step on the glass? Fi is more than willing to do it if I ask, but I think I might prefer to do it myself. I am bringing this culture into our marriage and asking him to accept it as part of me, not to adopt it as his own, so it feels right.

Will I offend anyone by doing this? Am I missing any reason to have FI do it instead? I don't think so, as I have seen it in same-sex couple ceremonies performed by a woman, but I want to cover my bases.

Thank you in advance!

Mimmer04 · February 2013

I think it is great if you want to break the glass. Go for it. Just check with your officiant to make sure it is ok with him/her.

TheBaysideBride · February 2013

Hi! I think it's fine if you want to do it - at my FI's sister's wedding the rabbi said some lovely words about framing the broken glass as a reminder that things cannot be undone - basically, to think before you speak and act and cherish your marriage as a glass. As someone who is quick to over-react, i think on these words all the time.
Mazel Tov!!!

jessicabessica · February 2013

I think that's fine. Another option is to both step on the glass at the same time. Harder to coordinate, but might be worth considering!

reebsreebs · March 2013

I stepped on a glass at our wedding, as did my DH. Don't try to stomp on the same glass, it will result in stomped on toes. I used a light bulb and dug in with my (kitten) heel. Worked well. And was FUN. We are an egalitarian couple and this was one tradition I did not want to miss out on!

[Deleted User] · March 2013

I do not think you would offend anyone at all. I am in a similar situation where I am Catholic and FI is Jewish, and I want to incorporate a bit of both of our backgrounds and beliefs into it. I totally get how you are brining your culture into your marriage and essentially blend families and backgrounds together. I say go for it.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_jewish-weddings_stepping-on-the-glass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:399Discussion:1add4ae6-edd4-419d-89eb-bbfb70df1c83Post:31555d0e-62b7-4f31-bc65-f2d798e79b32">Stepping on the Glass</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi ladies! I have an unusual question. I am Jewish, as are both my parents. I was never bat mitzvah'd, but my younger sister was. We do not follow the faith strictly, but culturally we all identify as Jewish. My FI is not, and we are not having a religious ceremony. However, I would like to incorporate some element of my background into our wedding. After researching some meanings and traditions, I think I would like to have a portion of the ceremony in which the glass is stepped on and the meaning explained. My question is, would it be inappropriate for any reason for ME to be the one to step on the glass? Fi is more than willing to do it if I ask, but I think I might prefer to do it myself. I am bringing this culture into our marriage and asking him to accept it as part of me, not to adopt it as his own, so it feels right. Will I offend anyone by doing this? Am I missing any reason to have FI do it instead? I don't think so, as I have seen it in same-sex couple ceremonies performed by a woman, but I want to cover my bases. Thank you in advance!
Posted by RWolff[/QUOTE]

Stepping on the Glass

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