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No family, just best friends

chelleshoechelleshoe member
Seventh Anniversary First Comment
in Destination Weddings Discussions
I'm getting married next spring hopefully in Mexico haven't found resort yet. We decided to just invite both of our best friends. How to break it to family, my mom is fine with it but his is probably going to be upset. we just wanted a fun vacation with friends and we were thinking of eloping so we figured we could do both together.

Thanks :)
Also any suggestions on resorts in playa del Carmen area, adults only. Looking for quality but not a budget breaker.
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Re: No family, just best friends

  • TerriHuggTerriHugg member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    Congrats and welcome! 

    I've never been to Mexico so I can't comment on that. 

    However, I can comment on just inviting your best friends. You said you always wanted to elope and just have a fun vacation with friends. My understanding is that eloping is just the two of you, (FI and bride). Once you add your best friends it's not really eloping anymore. 

    I see nothing wrong with just inviting your best friends. However, I think it might be best for you to add both your parents to spare some feelings. I don't know how your family relationships are, but I know my parents would be hurt if I chose to bring my best friends to our wedding over my parents. That would hurt them more then if I would have just eloped. But I'm also very close with my family. 

    If the two of you aren't that close with your parents and truly feel that just bringing your best friends is best, go for it. However, just remember some people might really be hurt. So I think either eloping (just you and him) or inviting your best friends and your parents are the best choice. 

    Good luck with whatever you decided. 


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  • Lissa1213Lissa1213 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I agree with PP, they might not decide to come but ouch, it seems like a good way to be on the outs with the FIL very quickly. 

    They might even look at it as a vacation for themselves and be there for the wedding & then go off and do their own thing. 

     

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  • chelleshoechelleshoe member
    Seventh Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_no-family-just-best-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Theme BoardsForum:54Discussion:cff6e852-7982-4a53-91cf-03ecbc1bfe0ePost:06d8e99a-40b9-419a-b457-4fb06cb7e456">Re: No family, just best friends</a>:
    [QUOTE]Congrats and welcome!  I've never been to Mexico so I can't comment on that.  However, I can comment on just inviting your best friends. You said you always wanted to elope and just have a fun vacation with friends. My understanding is that eloping is just the two of you, (FI and bride). Once you add your best friends it's not really eloping anymore.  I see nothing wrong with just inviting your best friends. However, I think it might be best for you to add both your parents to spare some feelings. I don't know how your family relationships are, but I know my parents would be hurt if I chose to bring my best friends to our wedding over my parents. That would hurt them more then if I would have just eloped. But I'm also very close with my family.  If the two of you aren't that close with your parents and truly feel that just bringing your best friends is best, go for it. However, just remember some people might really be hurt. So I think either eloping (just you and him) or inviting your best friends and your parents are the best choice.  Good luck with whatever you decided. 
    Posted by TerriHugg[/QUOTE]

    My parents really cant go, and his father so I dont want just his mom there. She has invited just herself on our vactions before so its a very strange situation. She would invite herself to dinner with us. Also my relationship with my sister is a tough one too, my wedding day would turn into her wedding day. We do want our 2 closest friends there but if we invite some immediate family members and not invite others I think it will be worse. We are coming back and doing a get together with family and either doing our vows for them or getting a video and watching it with them.
    My mom again is very supportive, she said it should be about what I want that day to be. Thanks for the advice, I did already make the decision just trying to figure out how to say it in the nicest way. Also we are paying for everything, no help from either side.
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  • KateH2013KateH2013
    100 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    Since you've already made your decision of no family, I'd suggest that your FI sits down and has a private conversation with his parents. There's not going to be an easy way to tell a family member they aren't invited - heck, it wasn't even easy for me to tell my parents that we're doing a DW, and our immediate families (both large) are invited.  

    Is it already "public knowledge" that you're having a DW? If so, I'd make sure to tell immediate family members asap about the plans to avoid anyone preemptively taking time off or looking into travel arrangements. Good luck. I hope it goes as smoothly as possible.
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  • chelleshoechelleshoe member
    Seventh Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_no-family-just-best-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Theme BoardsForum:54Discussion:cff6e852-7982-4a53-91cf-03ecbc1bfe0ePost:e37f80f1-a741-4c9f-a99e-db850547259f">Re: No family, just best friends</a>:
    [QUOTE]Since you've already made your decision of no family, I'd suggest that your FI sits down and has a private conversation with his parents. There's not going to be an easy way to tell a family member they aren't invited - heck, it wasn't even easy for me to tell my parents that we're doing a DW, and our immediate families (both large) are invited.   Is it already "public knowledge" that you're having a DW? If so, I'd make sure to tell immediate family members asap about the plans to avoid anyone preemptively taking time off or looking into travel arrangements. Good luck. I hope it goes as smoothly as possible.
    Posted by KateH2013[/QUOTE]

    Yea we mentioned we wanted to get married on a beach not anywhere around here. My FI agrees that we should not invite any family so I told him to tell his mom since I told mine. I just feel she is going to lay the guilt trip on me when hes not around. Thanks, I hope it goes smoothly too. I'm a high anxiety person about everything. My FI is very laid back(opposites attract) . . He said "dont stress, she'll get over it" its his mom so Im sure he knows her better than me :)
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  • megowdymegowdy member
    First Comment
    I'm a mom of a bride getting married.  I'm pretty sure that if my son did this, I would be crushed.  If you become a parent, you will understand that no matter what the age, your children are the most important things in your life, and I wouldn't want to miss his big day.  But that's just me.  And, yes, you would get the guilt trip from me.
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  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its

    I think you should really consider having a ceremony that only involves just the two of you and then have your friends join your celebration afterwards or join your vacation the following day. Or, at least invite both sets of parents and then let them decline the invite.  By having people at your ceremony but not inviting your immediate family  is very insulting, IMHO, assuming you haven't completely cut your family out of your life.  What makes your friends more important or special than your parents or even siblings? Just because they are more fun? I'm not even a parent and I know I'd be insulted that you shared that special moment with a bunch of other people and not the people who gave birth to you, raised you, and took care of you. Again, assuming that you still speak with both sets of parents and haven't cut them out of your lives. I personally did not invite anyone to my DW and everyone was okay with that because didn't include anyone, so noone could get offended by being left out because everyone was left out.

     







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  • chelleshoechelleshoe member
    Seventh Anniversary First Comment
    Thanks for comments . . I think it's hard to explain why we are choosing this option without getting too personal or sharing stuff that I wouldn't talk about. We both want a truly drama free wedding ;) . . I was looking for suggestions on how soon for him to tell his mom the decision. It's a year away so just not sure. Again my parents couldn't be happier, when they were younger they wanted to go away and get married so they understand. His dad is also happy for us.
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