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Shower-Schedule Stress

Xstatic3333Xstatic3333 member
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in August 2013 Weddings
I mentioned a few months back that my FMIL wants to throw me a shower for her side of the family, in addition to the more general shower my MOH is throwing.  I wasn't sure if it would go forward; she initially wanted to invite some non-wedding guests (which I would never agree to) and hadn't mentioned it for a while.  She's not inviting my BMs, which is fine, but it is very important to her that my mom comes.

Both FI and I and my mom and dad are couples who do a lot of local travel/"weekends away" during the summer, while FMIL tends to stay closer to home and relax and operates on a more last minute schedule.  In addition, a couple of my jobs require occasional weekend work that is scheduled very far in advance.  To make a long story short, she called today to finally schedule the shower and between my schedule, my mom's, and her best friend's (who is a wedding guest) there were no weekends in May or June that could work and we are now stuck with looking into July.

I feel awful; here she is trying to throw me a lovely shower and my schedule is getting in the way.  She hasn't had much of a planning role for the wedding itself, so this party is very important to her.  I offered to move around trips where no money had been put down yet, but the weekend she most wanted would cause us to be out a couple hundred bucks if I cancelled.  Sigh.  Did anybody else run into any problems like this?
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Re: Shower-Schedule Stress

  • teachmegs1teachmegs1 member
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    • First of all, sorry to hear about the work stuff getting in the way.  When my shower was being planned, we were trying to pick a day that would work well for the bridal party, because I have two OOT bridesmaids who would be traveling.  So my shower was considerably early compared to the typical time frame of when showers happen. (March 30th)

     

    • I do think though that your BM's should be invited as guests to this shower by your FMIL.  I mean, unless they all have plans that day, or none of them showed interest in going.  Why does she not want them to come anyway?

     

    • As far as scheduling goes, you can't make everybody happy.  My FI's god mother was on vacation the day of my shower and we looked into maybe switching it around, but no such luck.  I would say, as long as your schedule, your moms, and FMIL's schedule work out okay for a weekend, I'd go with that.  Sorry that her best friend can't come, but sometimes, it's all you can do. Good luck with it all!!
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  • Xstatic3333Xstatic3333 member
    250 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    I agree that the no BM thing is odd. The main reason I'm not pushing it is that several of them aren't really into wedding stuff. Those that are are working on the other shower, which is very sweet and generous. I'm not sure they would enjoy this shower, particularly given that the date we did just manage to arrange with her is the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend. We rescheduled a trip to visit friends, which worked out fine. My theory is that FMIL wants to host a party her way for her people. She did not offer to host the RD, for example. We are totally fine with hosting it ourselves, but I think she'd rather put time into a party for her friends than ours, whom she mostly doesn't know well. She's very excited about it so I'm happy to oblige unless she starts trying to add in non wedding guests again. Thanks for reading my long vent, and the suggestions! I'm on mobile now so hopefully my paragraphs show up for everyone.
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