June 2013 Weddings

Guest List Melt Down

With a little over 2 months to go the guest list is giving me major anxiety!!  Invitations go out this month and we've been forced to comb through the invited guests. We've paid our venue for 150 people knowing that we would invite about 170-180 and end up with maybe 160. Well our guest list right now is at about 190 which makes me VERY uncomfortable. How many people are you all actually inviting versus what you told your venue??

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Re: Guest List Melt Down

  • Wait, does you venue max out at 150 and you are inviting 190? Is there any way to cut some people off it this point? 

    Our venue holds 200, our guest list is 150. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_guest-list-melt-down?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:6122db23-85e1-4df9-a5ee-50378f901d46Post:9e26d164-892c-4ec6-a536-72a30f4c363e">Re: Guest List Melt Down</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wait, does you venue max out at 150 and you are inviting 190? Is there any way to cut some people off it this point?  Our venue holds 200, our guest list is 150. 
    Posted by cnf2013[/QUOTE]

    No the venue holds 200. I just don't want to pay for that many people. I have a pretty big family so cutting is hard, but I'm trying to cut where I can.
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  • Have you sent save the dates?

    Our venue is a little different than most. It's outdoors, and the tent size is based on the guest count. So right now we have a tent reserved based on 176 people, but we're inviting 186. If 10 people decline, we're set. If all 186 RSVP yes, then we have the ability to reserve a larger tent.
  • Take a deep breathe; guest list has been the most overwhelming part of my process too.  We budgeted for 150; originally were inviting 120 and somehow it crept up to 149.  Our venue holds over 250 so we are good there.  At least in our case we do now many OOT guests will not make it so we most likely will be around 120/130 when all said and done--but never say never until all the rsvps are in, so it is still a litte overwhelming with the what if!   It will all work out.  BUT you do need to be sure that the bottom line that you actually invite is a number you can afford to host your guests properly.  Always plan for 100% no matter what.    
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  • I told my venue 100, and that's probably how many there will be. Taking into account all the couples and families we invited, our guest list was at about 110. But a lot of fi's extended family not being able to attend, we will have less than 100.
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  • Our venue is very small and will only hold about 60 people comfortably. We've invited 75, but 15 of those have already told us they can't come, even though invitations haven't gone out! I would have been very uncomfortable and nervous if I thought I could get all yes RSVP's and wouldn't have been able to fit everyone. I would try and cut a few more people if you can, I know it's hard, or you're going to have to become okay with paying for the possible extra guests.
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  • If they got a save the date you have to send an invite. You need to count on 100% attendance. Almost all my invites are back and we only got 1 NO (for a couple).
  • Our venue holds up to 200. We have planned for 150 guests (caterer, floor plans, etc.) but actually only ended up inviting about 120. However we are concerned about the unsolicited "+1"'s. Take a deep breathe and have someone in your wedding party do the uninviting.
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  • Thanks girls!! We've gotten the list down to about 175 and with a lot of guests being out of town I'm very comfortable with that. Everyone who got a save the date will get an invitation (we were very careful with that). I'm much callmer today! On to the next item on the to do list!
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  • Our numbers are about the same as yours, Shanice. We told our venue 150 and settled on inviting 160. FI kept inviting people he ran into, and by the time we added vendors, we were at 188. I cut my out-of-state cousins that I don't really know, and we're hoping for a few declines. (We didn't send a save-the-date to the cousins, fwiw.)


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  • emilyb213emilyb213 member
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    edited April 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_guest-list-melt-down?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:6122db23-85e1-4df9-a5ee-50378f901d46Post:bade82fb-b307-4fbe-87b3-bc05efbd13c6">Re: Guest List Melt Down</a>:
    [QUOTE]Our venue holds up to 200. We have planned for 150 guests (caterer, floor plans, etc.) but actually only ended up inviting about 120. However we are concerned about the unsolicited "+1"'s. Take a deep breathe and <strong>have someone in your wedding party do the uninviting.
    </strong>Posted by ichoosethesun[/QUOTE]

    There shouldn't be any "uninviting", unless the guest in question has become physically aggressive or has committed something such as theft against the bride and groom or other guests.

    At any rate, it seems like the original poster solved the problem by cutting down some guests who didn't receive save the dates, which is the proper way to handle this issue.

    ETA: The bride and groom should be the ones cutting the guest list, not anyone in the wedding party. And it should be truly cutting the guest list, not telling people they're no longer invited.
  • We've paid for 150 people, but the venue holds like 275 I think. We've also invited about 209 people, knowing that much of our family from out of state won't come. We have it set up in a spreadsheet with the list of possibilities for people to come and then what's probable in the next column. We're predicting 157.
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  • we invited 65, its a destination wedding so we figured there'd be 40 so we told the venue 35 so we don't have to pay for guests that don't show up. well as it turns out 42 have brought up they are in,  but only 20 have rsvp'd so we will see in another 3 wks who's really in 100%. our venue can hold 50. ive heard count on 10% of ur rsvp's not showing if its a local wedding (but not sure how accurate this is). 
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  • We are having a DW, and invited 70 and we hoping for 60 to attend. We have 52 RSVP's, and think we may go over our original count.  I guess time will tell.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_guest-list-melt-down?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:6122db23-85e1-4df9-a5ee-50378f901d46Post:28ead220-09fa-4be8-baae-d033350cef9f">Re: Guest List Melt Down</a>:
    [QUOTE]You should never invite more than your venue can hold/you can afford.  You should always plan on 100% attendance; there have been horror stories on here of girls inviting more than they should have, and almost everyone showed up.
    Posted by mrskaiser22[/QUOTE]<div> i think some people know how flaky there family/co-workers are and if they don't get an invite its the end of the world... thats why i invited more then we set our budget for cus i know some people wouldn't go out of there way. and i know with two months left we can save more for the wedding if we need to. 

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_guest-list-melt-down?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:6122db23-85e1-4df9-a5ee-50378f901d46Post:04b9ed3b-0117-4278-baca-9ecf720a4166">Re: Guest List Melt Down</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Guest List Melt Down :  i think some people know how flaky there family/co-workers are and if they don't get an invite its the end of the world... thats why i invited more then we set our budget for cus i know some people wouldn't go out of there way. and i know with two months left we can save more for the wedding if we need to. 
    Posted by mbenoit03[/QUOTE]

    See, that's not always how it works though. Even flaky people pull their sh-- together for important life events like weddings. And yeah, while having to come up with extra cash in the last two months would suck, for some people, it's doable. For others though, having 100% attendance if they weren't planning on it could totally wreck their budget, not to mention the fact that they may have a venue that can't accommodate that many people (if they were banking on 10% declining or whatever, which is a BS number that has no root in actuality, regardless of what the internet tells you). That's why it's generally a good idea to plan for 100% of your guests to attend, so that you don't have any last minute budget surprises and you have room for everyone.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_guest-list-melt-down?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:6122db23-85e1-4df9-a5ee-50378f901d46Post:7cac7c9d-59d9-4f11-9283-bc048e457ed9">Re: Guest List Melt Down</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Guest List Melt Down : See, that's not always how it works though. Even flaky people pull their sh-- together for important life events like weddings. And yeah, while having to come up with extra cash in the last two months would suck, for some people, it's doable. For others though, having 100% attendance if they weren't planning on it could totally wreck their budget, not to mention the fact that they may have a venue that can't accommodate that many people (if they were banking on 10% declining or whatever, which is a BS number that has no root in actuality, regardless of what the internet tells you). That's why it's generally a good idea to plan for 100% of your guests to attend, so that you don't have any last minute budget surprises and you have room for everyone.
    Posted by emilyb213[/QUOTE]<div>all i was saying is what ive heard from coordinator's. no need for the 'tude i didnt know you planned 20 weddings a year and you that you knew statistics on every wedding and everyones family

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_guest-list-melt-down?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:6122db23-85e1-4df9-a5ee-50378f901d46Post:6a9e00a2-a3c5-4554-adc2-3731a58363af">Re: Guest List Melt Down</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Guest List Melt Down : all i was saying is what ive heard from coordinator's. no need for the 'tude i didnt know you planned 20 weddings a year and you that you knew statistics on every wedding and everyones family
    Posted by mbenoit03[/QUOTE]
    <div>
    </div><div>There was no "'tude" there. I was just putting the correct information out there.</div>
  • Geesh, I don't know which post to quote, or what gif to post, but seriously girls, inviting more guests than your venue or budget can handle is just asking for trouble. 
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  •       I think with cutting the guest list down to 175 you should be okay, you should start saving just in case they all do show up.
                   I'm inviting 155, room for 250 and expecting 125- paid for 125. To get this number I subtracted out of towners that I know won't travel, FMIL's ex-neighbors from 10 years ago and about 10% of my family since they are all flakes (it's never the same people but there is always someone who claims they don't have gas or just don't want to buy a gift or they are mad at someone you invited or they have a better party to go to than yours... bunch of drama llamas.) We have the credit to swing it- I'd just rather we kept our budget...
        I don't think anyone is trying to have an attitude except with the assumption that the bridal party would do any uninviting which you weren't implying.
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  • edited April 2013
    We told our venue 140 but our list came up to 163. So far we've had 12 people decline so I'm still concerned cause we are still 11 over our count but hopefully it can shrink some more. We have people who haven't responded yet that we are pretty sure won't be able to attend (and some of those were curtisy invites to like my fiance's grandmother who isnt fit to travel but should still get to see the invitation).
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