I love holidays, but... Vent. Group vent?

s-aries8990 · March 2013

So I love holidays. I love getting together with family and eating lots of meals with people giving gifts to each other etc. I love my family (for the most part) and I love BF's family (for the most part). Now, there's always a little drama with his family (people not understanding eachother's sarcasm/humor, getting on teach other's nerves, etc). For the most part, I'm sure most families have a little bit of this going on.

BUT, when it comes to anyone recieving ANYTHING, be it Christmas presents or the favors at Thanksgiving or Easter "basket" gifts, BF's mom is very selfish. BF's mom is the in-law at holidays because they are at BF's dad's parents. She isn't super close with her sisters-in-law or with her aunt-in-law or parents-in-law. They aren't the type of in-laws who are family because they want to be and truly get along, they are family because they happen to be and make it work, kwim?

She constantly criticizes what she recieves for Christmas, saying that it's not the same as so&so's, it looks like it's from the clearance rack, etc. She's upset when she doesn't have a special cake at their semi-annual birthdays gathering (they get one cake for each GRANDkid, each a different flavor - none BF's dad or aunts) and today she was getting miffed because BF and I didn't get full-on Easter baskets like the rest of the grandkids and my birthday didn't get acknowledged. BF& I are 23. We aren't kids. We don't need candy. We weren't upset about it. I wasn't upset about them not celebrating my birthday becuse, even though they are pretty much my family now, they weren't around when I was born and it's not intuitive to them. I didn't ask and I don't want her to mention it because, honestly, I don't CARE (and I know she would pull some "poor Sydaries" line)! Then she was going on because she didn't get this or that either today. She wants to get more than everyone else, like the GP's Easter decorations on TOP of the BBW handsoap, tulip plant and Lindt bunny she got.

Then she took home the rest of the pastries I brought to BF's GP's house because SHE wanted them. And there were a lot left.

Ugh. I know she means well, but if everything isnt' centered around her, she gets bent out of shape.

Is there anything about holidays that get to you? Family members? Cooking? The mess? Winey kids? The stress? What do you guys get bent on?

[Deleted User] · April 2013

Sometimes my family will go over to my uncle and aunt's house for Thanksgiving. They love to host big family gatherings and are wonderful hosts and cooks but usually when they host some unwanted people arrive. Great uncle, great aunt and great aunt's panhandling brother.

GU and GA are an older couple and truly mean well but they're under the impression that there's something that you're doing wrong in life and they like to tell you how to do it better. In high school GU lectured me abouthow important it was to take the SATs. I went to junior college and got my AA to transfer. They didn't talk to me for a year, it was quite nice actually.

GA's brother loves to invite himself to any social event where there is food and liquor to be had. Many times he has come by our house asking what we were having for dinner. I hit my breaking point when he came by on a Saturday morning at 7:30 to ask what was for breakfast. I used a few choice words and now he stays away.

Last Thanksgiving my FI met my extended family for the first time. He's a really sensitive person and can easily be shoved into a corner because of his quiet nature. I kept GU away from FI. It wasn't easybut I won't let FI get bulldozed over by a pushy relative.

I'm inviting GU and GA to the wedding but it seriously won't upset me if they decline.

s-aries8990 · April 2013

So he just showed up on a Saturday morning? Just for breakfast? Goodness!

LaSak87 · April 2013

I know this isn't a big deal when I hear about other things like people randomly showing up at your house....but the women in H's family always try to kiss me on the mouth and it freaks me the eff out. Yesterday, we spent most of Easter listening to H's grandmother complain about how terrible it is that basketball games were on TV on Easter Sunday and it's a sin! Womp womp.

thejucheidea · April 2013

We never see my family, so it's all good. The family I want to hang around with lives in California, so we mostly keep to ourselves and don't celebrate major holidays.

I go to Tyler's family's holiday celebrations when it comes to Thanksgiving and Christmas. They are much more boisterous than my family and there are a lot more of them (I have two cousins, Tyler has 24), so it's intimidating. I also think that one of his aunts views me as a walking, talking uterus, so there's that.

Family is just weird. I'm fine just hanging around with our parents on holidays because the four of them cause little to no drama.

kelley198721 · April 2013

My mother's side of the family drives me crazy! My mother is not close at all to her parents and her sister. I love my aunt and grandparents though and I wish they could work things out and get past their issues. But this has been going on since before I was born and as the years go by, it only gets worse. Mom feels like she's the black sheep of the family and she resents my aunt (who is the younger sibling) for being the golden child. And honestly, it is true...my grandparents do treat my aunt like the golden child. My aunt knows this and has tried to get close to my mom but of course, it doesn't succeed.

So now they put me and my brother in the middle (mostly me though) and I always feel like I'm being pulled in two different directions. Oh well though. What can ya do, it's family.

desertsun · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_i-love-holidays-but-vent-group-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8a373202-dacf-4989-8e41-8f6cdc17bd9fPost:9546f56b-f0b3-4f8a-9c04-9169073715e1">Re: I love holidays, but... Vent. Group vent?</a>:
[QUOTE]I know this isn't a big deal when I hear about other things like people randomly showing up at your house....<strong>but the women in H's family always try to kiss me on the mouth and it freaks me the eff out. </strong>Yesterday, we spent most of Easter listening to H's grandmother complain about how terrible it is that basketball games were on TV on Easter Sunday and it's a sin! Womp womp.
Posted by LaSak87[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Yup, that would freak me out too. *shudder*</div><div>
</div><div>

</div>

[Deleted User] · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_i-love-holidays-but-vent-group-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8a373202-dacf-4989-8e41-8f6cdc17bd9fPost:e3a67fa3-cf95-4715-871b-1c53c0a62f95">Re: I love holidays, but... Vent. Group vent?</a>:
[QUOTE]So he just showed up on a Saturday morning? Just for breakfast? Goodness!
Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]

<div>Yep, fortunately he moved out of the area after he claimed he couldn't afford his bills and asked to stay with us for a few weeks so he could figure out what to do. We haven't heard from him in a few months so that's been nice.</div>

nyiri89 · April 2013

I hear you! Most of the time when my SI and I spend holidays together (which are not always too many - he works nights) my family never fails to make me crazy. We are always with my family - my SI is from Europe and it's too expensive to take a trip over there.

My mother has a cousin who is the cheapest rat on the face of God's green earth. If there's any left over food - even stuff that she brought - she's always the first one to take all of the left overs. If she wants it she'll just take it - she even stole a CD of music we played at my grandfather's funeral. I'm not kidding you read that correctly. Luckilly, the SI has successfully avoided this person - hopefully he'll continue to do so.

I find that at any family function, I just need to stay around the circle of people I really do enjoy and get along with and that always makes things better. I hope everyone survived this holiday weekend :-)

OneLuckyNurse · April 2013

I love spending time with my family at holidays but the one problem I run into is with some extended family that attends the functions. This family will attend with their sweet but rather irradically behaved child and because they are in a group, I guess they think that they can take a break. The child runs around doing whatever he wants with no dicipline from his parents, when it gets too bad my aunt or grandmother will pull him aside and talk to him. Does anyone else have this problem where children get left to run?

I love holidays, but... Vent. Group vent?

Re: I love holidays, but... Vent. Group vent?

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