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House decoration etiquette

AJuliaNJAJuliaNJ member
Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Combo Breaker
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
What would you do if someone bought you a gift for your house you don't like? One of our guests bought us this large framed print when we got engaged/ moved into our house. We didn't want or like it in fact she told of us of her intention to buy something for our walls before that and we told her she didn't have to get us anything and that we like to pick out that type of thing ourselves. So now she's coming up for my shower and staying at our house.

Do we have to hang it somewhere? Wed have to put holes in our walls then. I'm not even sure either if us knows how to hang such a large print. I wish it could have been a vase or something where we could easily set it out just when she comes!
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Re: House decoration etiquette

  • Sierra524Sierra524 member
    500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    Do you have like a mantle or a table that you can just put it on without having to put holes in the walls?
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  • tiny specktiny speck member
    1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    It sounds like a really big print. I wouldn't go to the trouble of hanging it up or displaying it just for the sake of your friend, especially when you have no intention of leaving it up. If she asks about it, I would just be (more or less) honest with her and say that while you appreciated the sentiment of the gift, you don't have a good place to display it in your current home and/or it doesn't quite fit in with your current decor scheme. You still have it-- it's not like you immediately sold it or gave it away, so I would think she'd understand.
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  • AJuliaNJAJuliaNJ member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Thanks! I thought about putting it in a guest room but felt that would be just as bad as not hanging it sinceI forgot to tell youshe had a specific room in mind for it. So I knew if I came here I'd get better advice. Yes, it is a large print. She has a history of just buying things she would want for me. I have more of a j crew/anthropologie style and she would get me all this rocker stuff for birthdays because that's what she likes. I think it's about to happen again with my shower. She was telling me she wants to get me something fun that's not on my registry and was asking me about statues for our yard. I told her we definitely do not want a statue. I guarantee we get the hugest statue ever.
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  • crunchymamaof2 crunchymamaof2 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    Maybe once she sees that the print isn't being used and/or you're honest with her about it she'll skip the gaudy statue? One can hope right?

    After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!

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  • Teddy917Teddy917 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    You could say that you aren't using any gifts until the wedding so you don't jinx yourselves. You shouldn't be using things before the wedding anyway. Although I guess with a picture it wouldn't matter so much, since you could still return the gift to the giver and it would still look new.
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  • AJuliaNJAJuliaNJ member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to Re:House decoration etiquette:[QUOTE]You could say that you aren't using any gifts until the wedding so you don't jinx yourselves. You shouldn't be using things before the wedding anyway. Although I guess with a picture it wouldn't matter so much, since you could still return the gift to the giver and it would still look new. Posted by Teddy917[/QUOTE]

    I wouldn't really consider it a wedding gift. It was an engagement/housewarming gift.
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  • Teddy917Teddy917 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    In Response to Re:House decoration etiquette:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:House decoration etiquette:You could say that you aren't using any gifts until the wedding so you don't jinx yourselves. You shouldn't be using things before the wedding anyway. Although I guess with a picture it wouldn't matter so much, since you could still return the gift to the giver and it would still look new. Posted by Teddy917

    I wouldn't really consider it a wedding gift. It was an engagement/housewarming gift. Posted by AndreaJulia[/QUOTE]
    I think engagement gifts are still not supposed to be used. But I could be wrong.
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  • MuppetFanMuppetFan member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    edited April 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_house-decoration-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b4042554-478b-4ebd-adeb-bf96f67a842cPost:3ea98a22-01bf-41b9-a5d5-7a450c1bf66f">Re:House decoration etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:House decoration etiquette: I think engagement gifts are still not supposed to be used. But I could be wrong.
    Posted by Teddy917[/QUOTE]

    Wedding gifts not being used until after the wedding are in case the wedding doesn't go through.

    In this case, it was given because she moved to a new home and got engaged. I think she can use those gifts whenever she wants since those activities have been completed.

    People shouldn't impose their decorating taste on others with gifts. Some people know my taste well and I LOVE getting decorative gifts from them. My uncle is so on the ball about it. He gave me this awesome dish for my coffeetable that I ended up decorating my living room around. But... I also have a bunch of random country stuff in my basement that people assumed I'd love for some reason because I like antiques. They're not even remotely close. I don't want to encourage people to get more of it so I keep it in the basement. 

    I was just trying to envision whether I would take the time to pull something out for display just in case I wanted to show someone that we appreciated their gift .....and nope. I wouldn't.
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    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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  • winelover123winelover123 member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_house-decoration-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b4042554-478b-4ebd-adeb-bf96f67a842cPost:3ea98a22-01bf-41b9-a5d5-7a450c1bf66f">Re:House decoration etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:House decoration etiquette: I think engagement gifts are still not supposed to be used. But I could be wrong.
    Posted by Teddy917[/QUOTE]

    Engagement gifts can be used. They're meant for the engagement and is not hinging on the wedding going through.

    OP, I honestly wouldn't worry about setting it up. If she asks about why it isn't up, tell her it doesn't fit your home/decor style/wall size right now.
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  • Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I probably wouldn't bother putting it out. Maybe she will get the hint that that kind of stuff is not your style. If she inquires about it, I might say something like, "Oh it doesn't really go with any of the decor we have going on currently."


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  • Sassenach1743Sassenach1743 member
    500 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    Bummer about that lame gift... your post made me think of this! 

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  • Gumby68Gumby68 member
    10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_house-decoration-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b4042554-478b-4ebd-adeb-bf96f67a842cPost:2a49084d-56ea-47b8-93b7-b517523d7c85">Re:House decoration etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks! I thought about putting it in a guest room but felt that would be just as bad as not hanging it sinceI forgot to tell youshe had a specific room in mind for it. So I knew if I came here I'd get better advice. Yes, it is a large print. She has a history of just buying things she would want for me. I have more of a j crew/anthropologie style and she would get me all this rocker stuff for birthdays because that's what she likes. I think it's about to happen again with my shower. She was telling me she wants to get me something fun that's not on my registry and was asking me about statues for our yard. I told her we definitely do not want a statue. I guarantee we get the hugest statue ever.
    Posted by AndreaJulia[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>If she likes big lawn statues, you should find something similar to what was purchased here for her: <a href="http://thebloggess.com/2011/06/and-thats-why-you-should-learn-to-pick-your-battles/" rel="nofollow">http://thebloggess.com/2011/06/and-thats-why-you-should-learn-to-pick-your-battles/</a>  </div><div>
    </div><div>Maybe she'll discontinue giving gaudy statues ;)

    </div><div>(I still laugh hysterically every time I read this blog post.)</div>
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  • hackedhacked member
    Tenth Anniversary 10 Comments Combo Breaker Name Dropper
    I would prop it against a wall in the guest room, and if she asked, tell her you are waiting until all the gifts have arrived so you don't have to move stuff around later.

    We got married in 1976, and it was the Year of the Candy Dish.  We got 26 of them.  One was shaped liked a chalice and made out of cheap pressed glass.  It had a lid with a big knobby top and ruby colored accents painted on it.  It was butt ugly.  It came from my husband's brother's in-laws.  I was, frankly, not sure if it was their opinion of my husband (I had never met them) or if they thought it was really, really pretty.  Later, I went to a Tupperware party at their house, and they had one displayed in the center of their coffee table, so I guess it was a homage to their poor taste.  

    We decided to make light of it, and used to take it with us when visiting good friends houses and tried to foist it off as a "hostess" gift.  Word got around, and we discovered our friends had their white elephant not-sure-what-to-do-with-it wedding gifts waiting to make a trade with us.  We discovered that every couple gets one or two gifts that they hate or are just not "them".  Don't sweat it.    She may have given it to you knowing it was awful, just to see if you would be fooled into hanging it!
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