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November 2013 Weddings

Colors on the wedding website?

Every wedding I have been to, I have asked either the bride or somone in the wedding what their colors were so I could avoid wearing a matching color.  Just thought it seemed common sense to try not to wear what the WP was wearing.  One of my BM suggested under reception where we have the dress style for the wedding to put our colors so people can decide what to wear accordingly.  Thoughts?
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Re: Colors on the wedding website?

  • That's very rude. You don't get to tell people what colors they cannot wear. I have never asked a bride what her colors were. Do not put this on your invite or your website. Adults do not need instruction on how to dress.

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  • Also, your guests won't be trying to dress like your bridesmaids. No one will notice if a guest happens to wear a similar color. You are way over thinking this.

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  • Also, hockey, aren't your bridesmaids wearing distinct gowns with uggs? None of your guests are going to be confused for that, I promise.

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  • While I don't disagree with the PP's about it being rude to dictate what people do or don't wear to the wedding, I didn't get the impression from the OP that she was trying to do that.  I think it was just a matter of "should I mention the wedding colors on the wedding website or not".  Unless the OP was edited after it was originally posted.
    At any rate, I don't see any harm in mentioning the wedding colors on the website, as long as it's not followed by "please don't wear these colors".
    I have actually asked about wedding colors in the past for the same reason.  The last wedding I went to was in December, and I wanted to wear a short red dress I had purchased from David's Bridal.  Knowing that there was a small chance my dress could actually be the bridesmaid dresses worn in the wedding, I asked the bride what color they were wearing so that I didn't show up wearing the same thing.  I don't think it's super unusual for people to want to avoid matching the bridal party. That said, I don't think there's anything wrong with wearing something similar, either, and I don't think anyone should try and dictate their guests wardrobe.
    I was not getting that impression from the OP, though.
  • I definitely wasn't my intention to go out telling people what to wear to my wedding.  I'm not an idiot or a rude person despite what has been said about me.

    Every wedding I have been to people inquire about the colors.  

    And the dig about my choice of BM dresses and their shoes was not what I would have expected from this board.  Etiquette or the others maybe.  But I thought this was a supportive one.  My bad.
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  • It wasn't a dig, hockey. It was a true statement. No one will be confused for a member of the bridal party. Bottom line is whether your intent is to dictate attire or not, it will certainly come off that way to guests. I would interpret that as colors that are off limits. Further, as the moderator of this board, I take pride in making sure this is a open, welcoming board. Open and welcome do not equal agreeing with everything or validating bad ideas. I will not tell you something that is inherently rude isn't just because telling the truth will hurt your feelers.

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  • Also, for the record, my FMIL bought a dress that is the identical color as my bridesmaids dresses. She claims this was a coincidence even though she knew the color beforehand. I did not tell her she couldn't wear it or that she had to find a different color.

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