So you're saying you think you're pretty?

cu97tiger · April 2013

Watch this. It's worth the two minutes it will take to read the opening paragraph and the three minutes it will take to watch the video.

Click here.

Then let's discuss.

Hummingbird125 · April 2013

I watched this last night. I've seen a bunch of comments from people saying that because this comes from the same people who sell Axe products, it doesn't "mean anything". I prefer to just look at it for the message. I completely believe that most women would describe other women in far more flattering terms then they would describe themselves. Most of us are very critical of ourselves, when we should really be happy with who we are. For instance, my best friend of 13 years just got a nose job a few weeks ago. I've honestly never noticed that her nose was "crooked" like she said it was. Her nose wasn't "tiny" or "cute", but it wasn't at all unattractive in my opinion either. It was just her nose! I was shocked that she wanted to change it, and was worried that she wouldn't look like herself anymore. I haven't seen it since it's healed, but she's happy with the results, so I guess it all worked out. What bothers me, is that - to take this step of actually getting surgery - she must have been very unhappy with how her own nose looked for years and years. In my opinion, that's a lot of wasted energy.

ETA: Of course, I have parts of my body that I have similarly disliked for years and years [see: stomach, shoulders]. My friend isn't unique in her dislike of parts of her own body.

cu97tiger · April 2013

I hate my nose, especially from the side. But it is exactly like my mom's, and most people don't 'notice' it as much as I do. I can imagine what my first profile would have looked like. Stringy hair with nice eyes, cheekbones and teeth, and a gigantoid nose. When in reality, I'm pretty. And yes, I just said I'm pretty because goshdarnit if I can't be honest here, where can I be? Being humble has turned into a constantly replaying record in my head that says 'you're looks aren't good enough' and after watching this, I'm not standing for it any more.

Peaseblossom55 · April 2013

I can't see the video it's blocked at work. I've come to terms with my own beauty and my unique looks. I hate my nose, but whatever it's my nose it's not perfect and neither I am. I think I'm cute I would never consider myself beautiful or anything. I've made do with what I've got and life is too short to stress about my weird nose. IMO.

I'll have to look at the video when I get home from work.

Swazzle · April 2013

I couldn't listen to the video but I was able to watch it. The results don't really surprise me either. I do think it's a neat little exercise.

I absolutely hate my skin. I struggled with acne my whole life up until about a year ago. I have massive pores and some scarring from it that I'm really self-conscious about. When I went to my makeup trial last July, my MUA told me I had great skin. My jaw hit the floor. How could she possibly be seeing the same skin I look at every day?

Overall, yes, I think I'm pretty (as long as you don't zoom in on the pores on my cheeks, that is).

buddysmom80 · April 2013

I know I'm hot! J/k. I have horrible body issues. I'll never get over them. This video made me cry because every day I ask myself what does my BF see in me that he thinks I'm "beautiful" or "sexy" or whatever. I don't see it. I guess it's just something I have to work on a little bit at a time. For example, my one nostril is narrower than the other and I had issues with it for years, even going to consults for plastic surgery. Now that I'm older, I don't really notice it or care.

LaSak87 · April 2013

I wasn't able to watch it but I wanted to chime in because I know I have an unhealthy view of myself and rip my appearance apart. I just don't see 'attractive' when I look in the mirror, but I'm working on it.

LaSak87 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_so-youre-saying-you-think-youre-pretty?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c2be8ea3-d9e1-41c5-ad49-b80db3fcd427Post:70b49767-f949-4dce-9a7b-4d28ca631307">Re: So you're saying you think you're pretty?</a>:
[QUOTE]I watched it. It made me cry. I'm not surprised with the results. We are our own worst critics. I have really horrible body image issues. Part of it is from being made fun of in elementary school (skinny, flat chest, big nose, braces, bad haircut) and middle school (I suddenly grew boobs over one summer, so then everyone said I must be stuffing my bra) and high school (too tall, too skinny, I found out I had big hips when a girl kindly told me) and college (my abusive ex told me I was really fat at 118 lbs.). When I went on antidepressants I really DID gain weight, and thought that 140 lbs was ridiculously overweight. Then I got Cushings and gained 100 lbs and knew that I had it good before. I hate my nose. I hate my chin. I hate my hips. I hate weighing what I do. I hate my stretch marks. <strong>I recognize that many people around me are very positive about my appearance, but I just can't see it. I wish I could. I think I'd be happier. </strong>
Posted by LivLeighton[/QUOTE]

I hear you, homie. I wish I could stop ripping myself apart.

minskat30 · April 2013

I can't watch the video at work either. I think all women have body issues...for crying out loud, actresses and models who are stunning get photoshopped. It sucks that women think they need to be perfect. Goodness knows I hate my thighs/butt...though oddly H loves them. I look in the mirror and somedays I think I look ok...even pretty...but some days (like today) I think I look old, tired and hideous (well, not hideous but close).

thejucheidea · April 2013

I think I'm in the minority because I really like myself and my appearance. It took a long time to embrace my body and mind, but being around my awesome friends and fiance has changed my life for the better. I don't wear makeup, I don't wear shapewear, I don't know my weight, I don't do anything special to my hair, I don't focus on fashion, I believe in health at every size, I don't do any popular diets.

I had to deal with years and years of my sister battling anorexia including years where my parents didn't believe me when I said there was a problem with her, so I don't like talking about crazy diets and excessive exercise -- it's worries me. I also spent a lot of my life getting grief from my mom about my size despite the fact that I've always been active and healthy. Now she realizes that was really bitchy and has apologized, but it hurt really badly through middle and high school.

I wish people would stop focusing so much on celebrities and models. It's insane and doesn't do anyone a lick of good.

[Deleted User] · April 2013

I used to be really hard on myself. being married has really helped me get past that. I'm not perfect and I never will be. there are areas I can improve, certainly, but I don't beat myself up anymore unless I'm having a crazy-anxiety-and-depression day. I've got one life and one body, so I just want to concetrate on my health and my body and mind will reflect that!

Hummingbird125 · April 2013

It's crazy how much most women will praise others while ripping their own self-image apart. My youngest sister has been obese for much of her life, until recently when she underwent lap-band surgery (she's lost about 100lbs so far!). One day a few months ago, she asked me how much I weighed, because she was trying to figure out a good goal weight for herself. When I told her I weighed about 145, she was SHOCKED. She told me she thought I weighed between 110 and 120 lbs. Because I was always smaller then her, she assumed I was super-skinny. In reality, my BMI probably puts me in the "slightly overweight" category. I could tell she was soooo relieved when I told her what size I was, how much I weighed, etc., and it made me wish we had talked about that years ago.

Luckily, she has a bunch of awesome friends. One of them put two photos of her side by side. One was a current photo, the other from her HS graduation (she's a college sophomore now). She was about 100lbs larger in the earlier photo. Her friend knows how often she still gets frustrated, especially now that her weight loss has slowed, and her friend told her to look at those photos to remind herself how far she's come whenever she gets discouraged. She never likes talking about her diet or her wieght, but she actually posted the photos on instagram for everyone to see, and I've never been prouder of her.

Vintagelove4 · April 2013

I'm a bit weird when it comes to self image. I grew up and the girl in the mirror has always been me. I never really cared about what I looked like. I did go through a time though where I wished and wished that I had straight black hair but I never colored it. I gave up on straightening it years ago and haven't ever looked back. The girl in the mirror is me and I like being me, with all the features that come with it. I mean sometimes I'd wish that I had a larger bust or a stomach that would lay flat but after a bit I remember how much I like my body.

I also think every girl has their own "perfect" body weight. It's not always skinny. I mean being healthy should be the goal.

That's one of my top pet peeves about today's society.

doubleSS07 · April 2013

I cried. I'm definitely one of those girls who can pick out all the things I don't like about my face/body but hate when my beautiful friends get down on themselves. I struggle alot with having positive thoughts about my looks and just in general. I've been obsessing with my weight lately, especially with the wedding coming up and I feel so dissapointed in myself. I too wish we could just see ourselves the way others see us.

[Deleted User] · April 2013

I just pinned that video last night! I thought it was really interesting to see how different the two sketches came out. It's interesting to me because we think of women (sometimes) as being so caddy and judgmental about other women. It was nice to see how many more "beautiful" descriptive works were used when the strangers were describing each other, and how many more "harsh" words were used when the women described themselves.

FI has some anxiety when we attend large group functions and I always tell him "You're more worried about how you look than anyone else will be". I think this video shows that point. In general, people are so worried about how they don't measure up that they mostly see the good qualities in others (that they don't think they possess).

I think this video is a great reminder for people in general. I know I was feeling a little less self-critical after watching it last night.

Peledreamsofrain · April 2013

I posted this over in CC, and I'm glad to see it here. It is amazing how badly girls are raised to rip apart their own body image. It starts very early, and it's very subconcious and constantly reinforced.

Think about it: When you were a little girl, and someone met you for the first time, what did they do? Tell you that you have 'pretty X, Y, Z". Be it clothes, hair, nose, whatever. Your social acceptance and welcome appeared entirely based on wether people thought you were pretty. You then spend the rest of your life obsessing about coming across that way. Little boys get conversations about their interests, hobbies, etc. Girls are immediately assessed for looks. From day one.

Swazzle · April 2013

This might seem silly but...

In high school, while getting ready, most days I'd think "Man, I look like shlt today but yesterday I looked ok." One day in homeroom, I realized that the girl I was talking to looked EXACTLY the same as she did the day before. No better, no worse. She just looked like her, the way she looked every day. I wondered if she woke up that day thinking she looked worse than the day before too and started wondering if it was all in my head.

Hummingbird125 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_so-youre-saying-you-think-youre-pretty?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c2be8ea3-d9e1-41c5-ad49-b80db3fcd427Post:fdff6864-ac4c-4bcd-957f-779d84732f09">Re: So you're saying you think you're pretty?</a>:
[QUOTE]This might seem silly but... In high school, while getting ready, most days I'd think "Man, I look like shlt today but yesterday I looked ok." One day in homeroom, I realized that the girl I was talking to looked EXACTLY the same as she did the day before. No better, no worse. She just looked like her, the way she looked every day. I wondered if she woke up that day thinking she looked worse than the day before too and started wondering if it was all in my head.
Posted by rdr716[/QUOTE]

<div>There was an article in some magazine about that a while ago (maybe Elle? Marie Claire?). The took a picture of the same girl every single day for a month, and had her record how she felt about her self. She had a few "fat days", some bad hair days, some bad skin days, some days where she felt she looked totally hot. From an outside perspective - I didn't see any difference other than her outfit! I always remind myself of that girl and those pictures whenever I think I'm having an "ugly day".</div>

Simply Fated · April 2013

I definitely think people are harder on themselves than other people are. Sure, there are always those who judge harshly, but if you're a nice person people will remember that "her eyes lit up" like that one guy in the video did, ya know?

ravenray · April 2013

While I enjoyed this video and I thought it was a good way to show to women how negative they can be. However, I read this article and it got me thinking a little more. While I like what Dove was trying to do, I agree with the article that beauty doesn't affect your happiness. If it affects your career, is that saying you only get hired if you are beautiful? I wish that people addressed this more in reality; the lack of women of color also bothered me.

Elle1036 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_so-youre-saying-you-think-youre-pretty?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:c2be8ea3-d9e1-41c5-ad49-b80db3fcd427Post:2ae134c2-0473-4340-b868-d9a4f9cb86af">Re: So you're saying you think you're pretty?</a>:
[QUOTE]I posted this over in CC, and I'm glad to see it here. It is amazing how badly girls are raised to rip apart their own body image. It starts very early, and it's very subconcious and constantly reinforced. <strong>Think about it: When you were a little girl, and someone met you for the first time, what did they do? Tell you that you have 'pretty X, Y, Z". Be it clothes, hair, nose, whatever. Your social acceptance and welcome appeared entirely based on wether people thought you were pretty. You then spend the rest of your life obsessing about coming across that way. Little boys get conversations about their interests, hobbies, etc. Girls are immediately assessed for looks. From day one.
</strong>Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

Yes yes yes favucking yes.

This annoys the crap out of me.

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