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when to choose bridesmaids???

So i'm soo lost at when would be a good time to start asking friends to be bridesmaids.. I dont have any female siblings and i havent yet decided if i want to ask any of my cousins just yet.

I'm also in sort of a conundrum as well. I'm in a sorority and have 3 or 4 sisters i want to be in my bridle party . i have three littles (if you know what that means) but im only asking one of the three to be in the party. I'm worried that it might cause the other two to be upset but the reason to pick the one is because she's the one i've stayed closest too since we have all graduated.

UGH! ! Help please :)

Re: when to choose bridesmaids???

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    It is best not to ask your bridal party until you are about 6-9 months out.  Relationships can change and once you ask there is no going back.

    As for who to ask, only you can answer that question.  Ask your nearest and dearest.  Do not worry about what others may think or that you may or may not hurt someone by not asking.  You should not feel obligated to include anyone.

  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    You definitely have a long time to go.

    So waiting until just after the New Year is probably your best bet.

    In the meantime, why not reach out to those you've lost touch with? (if you want to!)
  • kjc: I think it's fine to only ask one of your littles (and yes, I know what that means!). I know a few bigs and littles who barely talk--as collegians!--and I doubt they'll object if they, too, feel that you aren't as close as you once were. 

    But definitely wait until later and think about it long and hard before you ask anyone!
  • I saw on pinterest to have a small corsage or pin for all your sisters you invite, that way they can still feel included if they are not in the wedding party.
    image


    Anniversary
  • I would definitely wait a while.  6-9 months seems reasonable. I don't know if you are graduating before your wedding, but life after college changes so quickly. Your bigs and littles could be moving and you may not stay in touch lots happens. So yes, choose your nearest and dearest.

    Remember once you ask, you can not ask them to not be in the wedding. Once they are in, they are in for good unless you opt out.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_when-to-choose-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:d57ce677-365d-402a-95d8-6c5b205d78f2Post:c277d198-b17a-4a2f-a727-d7895bfb0897">when to choose bridesmaids???</a>:
    [QUOTE]So i'm soo lost at when would be a good time to start asking friends to be bridesmaids.. I dont have any female siblings and i havent yet decided if i want to ask any of my cousins just yet. I'm also in sort of a conundrum as well. I'm in a sorority and have 3 or 4 sisters i want to be in my bridle party . i have three littles (if you know what that means) but im only asking one of the three to be in the party. I'm worried that it might cause the other two to be upset but the reason to pick the one is because she's the one i've stayed closest too since we have all graduated. UGH! ! Help please :)
    Posted by kjc4137[/QUOTE]
    I would wait awhile because relationships can change, ya know?

    As far as asking only 1 of 3 of your littles goes (and, yes, I know what that means lol), I know that can depend on a lot of factors. Bottom line is, you stayed close to one. You shouldn't feel obligated to invite the others, just because they're your littles, unless that's a sorority thing I'm unaware of.
    image
  • wait!!!!!!!  I know it's tough, but best decision ever.  You could even wait until around the time to order bridesmaid dresses, 5-6 months out.  Highly recommend it.  Weddings bring out the best and worst in people.  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_when-to-choose-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:d57ce677-365d-402a-95d8-6c5b205d78f2Post:c277d198-b17a-4a2f-a727-d7895bfb0897">when to choose bridesmaids???</a>:
    [QUOTE]So i'm soo lost at when would be a good time to start asking friends to be bridesmaids.. I<strong> dont have any female siblings</strong> and i havent yet decided if i want to ask any of my cousins just yet. I'm also in sort of a conundrum as well. I'm in a sorority and have 3 or 4 sisters i want to be in my bridle party . i have three littles (if you know what that means) but im only asking one of the three to be in the party. I'm worried that it might cause the other two to be upset but the reason to pick the one is because she's the one i've stayed closest too since we have all graduated. UGH! ! Help please :)
    Posted by kjc4137[/QUOTE]

    You know, a person doesn't have to have a vagina to stand up on your side.  If you have male siblings or friends, they can certainly stand up on your side.
  • The date on here isn't my actual date I just put something on there. Lol 

    Retread... I'm doing the corsage thing. I'm close to a bunch put my sisters still and couldn't imagine getting married without them there. I also plan on asking my bridesmaids that are sisters plus my Littles to allow me to place they badges on my bouquet! 


  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_when-to-choose-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:d57ce677-365d-402a-95d8-6c5b205d78f2Post:87d60240-bf4e-4509-8c5a-f48b882e3937">Re: when to choose bridesmaids???</a>:
    [QUOTE]The date on here isn't my actual date I just put something on there. Lol  Retread... I'm doing the corsage thing. I'm close to a bunch put my sisters still and couldn't imagine getting married without them there. I also plan on asking my bridesmaids that are sisters plus my Littles to allow me to<strong> place they badges on my bouquet! </strong>
    Posted by kjc4137[/QUOTE]

    I'd re-think that.  Badges are expensive and your bouquet will be here there and everywhere that day.  Put YOUR badge if you think its necessary, but I would not want to be responsible for poentially damaging all their badges too. 

    Also, the corsages seem a bit much.  They are your guests, that is special enough.  Take a sorority picture and call it a day.

    And its fine to only have 1 of your 3 littles.  just because you are sorority sisters does not mean you are obligated to be there best friend forever.  Neither of my littles are invited to my wedding.  After college our lives took us in completely different directions.  since you are recently graduating I can see how you will be a lot closer to some of the girls, but definitely wait and see where life takes you after you graduate.  Do not promise them an invite and re-evaluate your status in a year when its time to get invitations ready.  You will be surprised how quickly your "sisters" can disappear
    image

    Anniversary
  • So if that's not your reall date, when is it? Regardless, you should absolutely wait till about 9mos like PPs said. People can have all sorts of things pop up between now and then, and your relationship could certainly change. I just had this talk with a friend of mine. Even though she does not have a date yet, she ran right out and asked a girl to be her MOH. She is now having really serious problems with that girl because she is bitter and jealous of my friends engagement. She literally told her "I am too upset about my own relationship to be happy about yours." She now regrets asking the girl but realized she definitely needs to wait before asking more. Also, always remember that wedding planning shows people's true colors, so if you know a friend can be a little bratty or self centered, multiply it times 100.
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