October 2013 Weddings

How to incorporate someone missing?

My Papa died last September and WOW, that's still really hard to even type. He was my grandfather but truly my father, as I didn't have one. He was very young, only 69, and no one expected this. Most of all me. It'll be one year and one month after his death for the wedding. I never imagined him not being at my wedding, walking me down the aisle. What ways can I honor him? I want to do lots of different things as I miss him so very much.
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Re: How to incorporate someone missing?

  • sarahlizk9sarahlizk9 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    edited April 2013
    So sorry for your loss :(

    My great-grandma (who I call Nanny) passed when I was a junior in high school and it still feels like I'm getting kicked in the chest when I think about it.

    She always sat in the second row, aisle seat at church. So when my sister (who is my MOH) walks down the aisle, she will place a single pink rose on the second row, aisle seat chair. I'll have a blurb in the program explaining why it's being done. 

    I've also seen people light remembrance candles before the ceremony.

    ETA: A friend got married a couple years ago and one of her friends that would have been a bridesmaid is in a coma, so she had a small picture of her attached to her bridal bouquet.
  • So sorry for your loss. This is a time of joy, but I can fully understand that it is bittersweet since someone important to you is not there to join you in your celebration.

    I like the above idea about a locket on your bouquet with a picture. Mentioning them in the program is also done often.  Is there any song or poem that you know they liked that you can incorporate? You wouldn't need to explain why you were using it, but just include it in the ceremony.
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  • I'm also very sorry for your loss. PP's gave you some great suggestions, and I have nothing to add that would top them.
  • This is something I've been working on for a while, 15 years to be exact when we lost my Dad. I've since lost both Grandpa's and my FI parents are both gone so doing something is very important to both of  us. We are planning to have empty seats reserved with photo's of those that are no long with us.
  • Thank you all! It's so strange how it feels so unreal. I love love the picture on the bouquet idea. My brother is going to walk me down the aisle now and I kind of want him to kiss my cheek like my Papa would. We called them "Papa Sugars". Does that sound crazy? I also am thinking a song is a perfect idea. Thank you again!
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